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Thread: hi all, it only gets worse

  1. #1

    hi all, it only gets worse

    worked my ass off this spring to solve a sacral complication and it helped my walking, net tho, i'm just deteriorating and feeling like i'm reaching the end of my ability to cope. funny despite getting worse. I've found more peace.

    struggling with suicide again. just don't know how to continue, hack a day awaay at a time but nothing left for life

    all that i am is all gone

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  2. #2
    I've been wondering about you Bill.

  3. #3
    sometimes i feel the same way (well, not suicide). but then i think of my son, or hold the new baby of somebody i'm close to or give somebody something they want/need and i find a way through it. am scared of the worsening pain. i have to keep giving things up for it.

    wish i could help.

  4. #4
    Hang in there man. Holidays are especially rough. Just, you know, focus on the good things in life, try to block out the bad. One day at a time

  5. #5
    Keep your head up.
    coolbreeze c6/7

    Keep on moving don't stop!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
    Sorry Bill. Hang in there.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  7. #7
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    im so sorry you are thinking of that. one time you said you were luckier than most. I know you dont feel lucky, or happy, right now, but just like those feelings come and go, so will this. please wait it out. I have ces too. I may not know how it is for you, but I know how it is for me. sometimes pain can just wear you away after a while. wait it out though sir, and thank you so much for reaching out to your friends. please keep doing that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    I used to be good at this ... but as I'm aging I'm running out of things to say to help people feel better.

    All I can say is that CareCure would miss its Ketamine Kitty.

    Holidays are rough (I used to think people who said that were silly ... but nope ... I'm there now!)

    I was one of the fortunate who escaped pain (for the most part - been starting to get that 'legs encased in ice cold cement feeling lately) but it's NOT something I have to deal with on a daily basis. I don't know how I would cope if I were constantly in pain. All I can say is I'm sorry?

    If Rbrauer were reading this, he would say, "It's going to be alright, it's always going to be alright." (years-long private joke, lol)
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  9. #9
    Hey Bill,

    Here's a 12 minute long meditation mp3 that might help a bit. They never helped me much butcha never know 'til you listen to it.

    But I do enjoy a good Australian accent.

    Take care,

    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    Hi Bill,
    I am glad to see that you posted, although very sorry that life continues to be as hard as it is for you. Hang in there. I know it is not always easy to imagine a better future, but we never know what waits for us. For me it is often the simple things that bring me inexpressible joy, such as every years new crop of baby ducklings and goslings, or a particularly vivid sunset, or even the next great meal out somewhere. Keep writing!

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