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Thread: Any women employ male caregivers?

  1. #1
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    Any women employ male caregivers?



    So aside from the obvious, and the damage it has caused my body to lose 2 1/2 years trying to get my standing chair, having to live my life mediated by caregivers is by far the worst thing ever to happen to me.

    I am wondering if I might have better luck with a man. It seems like it might mean just less drama and less distraction. And having someone who can just lift me easily would be a tremendous bonus.

  2. #2
    When Dave was in rehab there were some great male tech-aides. Some of the women in rehab did not want a guy so they would trade for showers and BPs. We got to meet some pretty funny guys.
    He only has female aides now because that who has answered ads.
    I think if you found just the right guy it would work.
    Good Luck Randy.

  3. #3
    I employ one male licensed practical nurse as a relief caregiver. I am past the stage where I am overly concerned with who does my care, male or female, although I suspect I may have felt differently in the past. Finding somebody who is reliable and who is a good overall "fit" is my primary concern. On average he works 2 or 3 shifts a month for me. He ended up in my employ more or less by accident, after an agency sent him to cover in an emergency when sombody called in sick 15 minutes before their shift was to start.

    I wouldn't say there is any difference in the amount of "drama and distraction" between him and female caregivers I currently employ. On occasion I have had to address the same things with him as I do with them: being on time for shifts, personal phone calls, cleaning up after himself, agency gossip, etc. If I have less issues with him than females, I would say it is more because he doesn't work that often for me rather than the fact he is a male. His biggest value to me, to be honest, is that he is willing to cover weekend night shifts, usually on fairly short notice. That was my biggest reason for asking him to stay on my relief list of caregivers. He and I get along well, which is a great bonus. But I wouldn't be inclined to hire another male caregiver based solely on my experiences with him. But yes I would hire another male if they seemed like a good fit for my care needs and living situation.

    As for your own situation, to be honest I don't know that hiring a male will actually solve the problem. For me, the biggest stress of caregivers isn't so much the annoyances of things like personal dramas (although dealing with that is very draining, I agree). It is having somebody in my home all the time and the dehumanizing feeling I get from requiring care. It is frustrating and tiring. Drama, lateness, etc makes it all the worse. But even with really great caregivers, and right now I am quite satifisfied with the ones I have, I find the stress of being dependent on caregivers never really goes away.
    Last edited by orangejello; 12-09-2010 at 10:44 PM.

  4. #4
    OK so ... um a male's idea of clean and most females view of cleanness is not in the same field would rather have a women any. had some really incredibly strange male carers, I have a male carer works most of the evening shifts while my regular carer is away. he will do until january the he's gone. Males have to be told everything.

  5. #5
    Fortunately i dont need one, but when i was at the hospital lost any privacy, which is an horrible feeling and i felt worse if it was a man dealing with me naked. And i am being honest and not joking with it. Perhaps because some of them looked different to me as if they liked men. It was not good to feel watched or touched if it seems like the person enjoys it.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by herrlich View Post
    Fortunately i dont need one, but when i was at the hospital lost any privacy, which is an horrible feeling and i felt worse if it was a man dealing with me naked. And i am being honest and not joking with it. Perhaps because some of them looked different to me as if they liked men. It was not good to feel watched or touched if it seems like the person enjoys it.
    Yes, after becoming disabled, perspectives change. Many hospital patients do not need assistance with intimate bodily functions. After my injury I soon "got used to it." The fig leaf approach to modesty goes.

    My brother in law had to spend a long period in hospital, and says that by the time he came out decided that being pushed through Piccadilly Circus on commode would not be daunting!!
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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by chris arnold View Post
    Yes, after becoming disabled, perspectives change. Many hospital patients do not need assistance with intimate bodily functions. After my injury I soon "got used to it." The fig leaf approach to modesty goes.

    My brother in law had to spend a long period in hospital, and says that by the time he came out decided that being pushed through Piccadilly Circus on commode would not be daunting!!
    What your brother said was funny Chris. My husband feels the same way.
    I think it is harder when a person is young.

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