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Thread: How do I let my HHA go?

  1. #1

    How do I let my HHA go?

    Hello,

    My story goes way back to Feb of 2010. I had a spinal Cord Injury @ L1
    I am now fused from T-10 to L3. I try to make this story short. I was paralized for 54 days....Today 11/2010 I almost made a full recovery. I went from a wheel chair , walker to a single point cane and now I walk on my own. I still do suffer with tons of back pain and I cant really lift or bend that well.

    At first when I left rehad I couldnt walk, I couldnt do much for my-self. I live with my parents and had to stay in their living room because I couldnt get to my bed room up-stairs.
    I qualified for a Home Health Aide... Julia. I get 8 hours a day 7 days a week.
    Julia started in April, and she did everthing a girl in my position could ask for. She sponge bath me, dressed me, help me get to a bed side commode so on and so forth...

    Now we treated Julia as part of our family (MISTAKE), we always provided food for her, and let her leave earlie all the time. Mainly because my mommy was there to take care of me. When I go out to get a coffee its like shes always broke and I feel bad for her and offer to get her things.
    i think it has come to a point where she is just taking advantage. And to add shes always aking me for things, even the things that I get from the hospital for my own needs for example.. body wipes.., gloves to take home .....like whatever she can get for free she will take it!

    As time went by and I got better I dont think julia was happy at all. Shes always telling me that she needs hours to pay her mortgage, and how much she needs this job.

    My thing is if you needed this job you would be here to actually work, and not beg me to leave earlie or clock out for her. I mean, i know its my fault but I was trying to be nice and I could use a little time to my self...when i wanna go out on my dates, dinner, breakfast....

    Now I drive my self and spend time at my friends house.. she comes over my moms house clocks in and just leaves. I understand I am not there but goddd at least help my mom clean, or at least clean my room or something.

    Now i told her that she should try to find something on the weekends. And she got up-set. All this woman does is watch TV and eat free food from us.. its like how do we get rid of her??

    I just got approved for long term care...umm why I stll dont understand.
    i dont need it, but its like her, and the supervisor are good friends..

    I am going to Barbados on Nov 30th and Ill be returning on Dec 7th
    she asked my mom if she can come over and hang out. I told her I have to tell the agency that I am leaving on vacation. She told me I cant leave the country because then they will stop my home health care

    i actually want her to go, but I am afraid maybe somewhere down the line I may need a HHA.. then what? Is it possible for my mother to work for this agency and take care of me?

    i dont know what to do at this point. I mean I am going on my vacation..
    i am thankful for all she has done, but its like shes a bully now and I cant stand her ass.

    is it possible for me to call the agency and ask them to put off my service? can i do that???

    Also I have a wheel chair that cost around 4000.00 dollars , and it just sitting in our garage. I dont know what to do with it. ill post some pics later maybe i can donate it or give it to someone who actually needs it.
    or if anyone knows of a church or something...( new wheel chair, never used it)

    Thanks for reading....all help appreciated

    also to add real quick.. its like they never expected me to walk again. I feel as if hey are using this sistuation for their own gains. I just want to return to work in Jan.
    Last edited by debbier; 11-21-2010 at 11:21 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member marycsm77's Avatar
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    Debbier,

    I've never spoken with you but I have read a couple of your posts previously when you were still struggling to walk etc. I just wanted to say congratulations on your recovery! It is wonderful to hear how much you have recovered. I wish you continued good health and improvement.

    As for the home health aide, if you don't want to deal with her and she is from the agency why don't you just deal with the agency itself and explain the situation. Perhaps since you did once feel fondly of HHA you might give a a parting gift or something. If she makes you feel that bad though and is taking advantage of you and your family, deal with her agency, why should you have to feel like you are being held hostage by the woman. Anyway im sure other people will have good suggestions for you, I just wanted to wish you the best

    mary
    Last edited by marycsm77; 11-21-2010 at 11:27 PM. Reason: correction

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by marycsm77 View Post
    Debbier,

    I've never spoken with you but I have read a couple of your posts previously when you were still struggling to walk etc. I just wanted to say congratulations on your recovery! It is wonderful to hear how much you have recovered. I wish you continued good health and improvement.

    As for the home health aide, if you don't want to deal with her and she is from the agency why don't you just deal with the agency itself and explain the situation. Perhaps since you did once feel fondly of HHA you might give a a parting gift or something. If she makes you feel that bad though and is taking advantage of you and your family, deal with her agency, why should you have to feel like you are being held hostage by the woman. Anyway im sure other people will have good suggestions for you, I just wanted to wish you the best

    mary
    Aww, Thank you so much for your kind Words Mary.. and you are on point I was/am fondly of her , and that what makes it so hard. i try to tell her sometime that I am going out, and she can clock out and leave then she sings a sad story of how she needs all her hours and if its okay if she stays... I kinda feel like I owe her something for all she has done for me. I am a soft person, and sometimes I just let ppl walk all over me.

    Thank for your respond

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by debbier View Post
    \I just got approved for long term care...umm why I stll dont understand. i dont need it, but its like her, and the supervisor are good friends
    You just got "approved" by whom for long term care?????

    Ethically, if you are able to function on your own, have the employment advantages you have (from your profile) and are taking vacations to Barbados, why would you accept "long term care" from whatever agency, the government, your insurance etc? I think it is time you weaned yourself and your family from your health care aid and encourage her to get on to another job and you get on with your life without help, that by your own statements, you don't need. It is time for everyone in this situation to move on.

    The best to you,
    GJ

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by gjnl View Post
    You just got "approved" by whom for long term care?????

    Ethically, if you are able to function on your own, have the employment advantages you have (from your profile) and are taking vacations to Barbados, why would you accept "long term care" from whatever agency, the government, your insurance etc? I think it is time you weaned yourself and your family from your health care aid and encourage her to get on to another job and you get on with your life without help, that by your own statements, you don't need. It is time for everyone in this situation to move on.

    The best to you,
    GJ
    I agree with you 100 percent. I just need a push and hopefully my family can read and agree...the more I think about it the more I get mad.

  6. #6
    First off, it is fantastic to hear of your progress.
    I understand the "mistake" of making aides part of the family. It has been a learning experience in so many ways.
    Since we need them (my husband C3) it is almost like we are held hostage.

    It's time to let the agency know how well you are doing and that you no longer need her. If she is employed by them they may have another opening.
    What does your family say?

  7. #7
    Debbie, sounds like the gal is taking advantage of you BIG time!!!!!!! I just wonder how people sleep at night when they do things like this! Sounds like her buddy there found a way for her to have a gravy job! Go get her girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. #8
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    oh how wonderful about your recovery! Im sure you will be able to sell your chair or donate it very easily. That aid just needs to be let go. give her two week notice. or simply fire her. you must empower yourself and do this. I think she has little shame, and I hope her next employer is a hard ass, and works every penny out of her. so many people need employment, and would do a decent job, her carma is going to get her. In the meantime, she simply needs the boot. you dont need to be mean, or even honest. Just give her a written two week notice that her services will not be needed after such and such a date. You can thank her, wish her well, give her a cheap parting gift, but do what you must do, and get rid of her useless, parasitic, ass. shame on her. you will feel so much better when its over with.

  9. #9
    Linda T.. Since I ve joined CC i've read a lot of your posts. I wanted to say you are a very strong woman! And, your husband is very lucky to have someone as wonderful as you in his life. You are very warm

    update: She's gone I called the agency two day after I posted this thread. I called and spoke to someone at 8AM and by 10AM they sent another RN over and she closed the case. My HHA was so mad and shocked, but it was for the best. They did tell me I can have a home attendant to help me clean, but I turned it down.

    Now when I think about it. She did take serious advantage of me and my family.. She said she loves taking care of me. BUT when I think about it....When I had my last back sugery **She never came to even vist me** I was in the hospital/rehab for 5 weeks.

    Thanks for all advice everyone

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by debbier View Post
    Linda T.. Since I ve joined CC i've read a lot of your posts. I wanted to say you are a very strong woman! And, your husband is very lucky to have someone as wonderful as you in his life. You are very warm

    update: She's gone I called the agency two day after I posted this thread. I called and spoke to someone at 8AM and by 10AM they sent another RN over and she closed the case. My HHA was so mad and shocked, but it was for the best. They did tell me I can have a home attendant to help me clean, but I turned it down.

    Now when I think about it. She did take serious advantage of me and my family.. She said she loves taking care of me. BUT when I think about it....When I had my last back sugery **She never came to even vist me** I was in the hospital/rehab for 5 weeks.

    Thanks for all advice everyone
    Glad to hear you got it under control Deb!

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