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Thread: What can be done?

  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Fithian, IL
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    I am confused, you spoke with the person needing the care? and he said to wait? and you said you would because you don't know of anyone doing anything the person needing the care wants? And the person who needs the care agreed and said the situation is pathetic?

    When did the person come home? Is the person para, quad, what level? Etc. Did the person go to rehab and able to do anything on his own? Is the family caregiver just being over protective since its a new injury?

    Sorry to ask so many questions but I am really confused, if the caregiver is as bad as your first post, why wait? Something needs to be done and done today.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by MSWIFE1 View Post
    I am confused, you spoke with the person needing the care? and he said to wait? and you said you would because you don't know of anyone doing anything the person needing the care wants? And the person who needs the care agreed and said the situation is pathetic?

    When did the person come home? Is the person para, quad, what level? Etc. Did the person go to rehab and able to do anything on his own? Is the family caregiver just being over protective since its a new injury?

    Sorry to ask so many questions but I am really confused, if the caregiver is as bad as your first post, why wait? Something needs to be done and done today.
    The person's been home just over a week, has a cervical complete injury and cannot do very much on their own. They were at a rehabilitation facility for over four and a half months.

    I know from this person, and a few others, that nursing coverage is not good in this area. Nurses are assigned and sometimes they show up, sometimes late and sometimes not at all. At this point the reasoning is bad care is better than no care. It's not just the care it's the running of the household too. It is complicated.

  3. #13
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    Thanks for clearing that up, I know you are trying to talk in circles and not give to many details for privacy reasons but I was just not understanding.
    Its just not your area that you have problems with nursing staff, its everywhere sadly. How would this person be funding the nursing staff, is insurance going to help some, is this person a vet? Can you get ahold of the rehab facility and see if they have any recommendations?
    I know it must be complicated but I still don't think you should wait, not if it is as bad as your first post.
    Where are you at and maybe someone here can help with resources.

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by MSWIFE1 View Post
    Thanks for clearing that up, I know you are trying to talk in circles and not give to many details for privacy reasons but I was just not understanding.
    Its just not your area that you have problems with nursing staff, its everywhere sadly. How would this person be funding the nursing staff, is insurance going to help some, is this person a vet? Can you get ahold of the rehab facility and see if they have any recommendations?
    I know it must be complicated but I still don't think you should wait, not if it is as bad as your first post.
    Where are you at and maybe someone here can help with resources.
    Privacy is a concern.
    Nursing is paid for through insurance.
    The person is not a veteran.
    Taking things on a day to day basis and waiting for this person to give the go ahead.
    I know someone in the area who is in law enforcement and have known him over 30 years.

    Thank you for your help!

  5. #15
    Nursing/aides are a big issue for many of us. Even if funding is there finding reliable people can be near impossible at times. (as I sit waiting for my husband's week-end aide that was supposed to be here an hour ago)
    Was there a social worker or case manager at the rehab that could be of any help?
    I am glad you are trying to help, it must be frustrating for you.
    I understand why you are reluctant to give details. No one is meaning to pry, it just helps to know more about the situation.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    Nursing/aides are a big issue for many of us. Even if funding is there finding reliable people can be near impossible at times. (as I sit waiting for my husband's week-end aide that was supposed to be here an hour ago)
    Was there a social worker or case manager at the rehab that could be of any help?
    I am glad you are trying to help, it must be frustrating for you.
    I understand why you are reluctant to give details. No one is meaning to pry, it just helps to know more about the situation.
    Thank you, Linda. It truly helps to read the experiences of others and I understand no one means to pry. I relay this information to my friend who sincerely appreciates it as well.

    As it turns out, punctuality/attendance is an issue in the home care field. Is this just a "roll with the punches" situation? There is a new social worker / case manager involved.

    I put my frustration aside because it is nothing compared to that of my friend's. I think about that often and we talk about it.
    At different times my friend has asked me to be their legs, etc. and I am.
    At different times my friend has asked me to do things for them, bring things to them, and I do.
    They say they would do the same for me and I believe them. I know they would.

  7. #17
    Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7. I assume she has a phone she can use.

    If you are not willing to file the APS report NOW before the situationn deteriorates even further, at least call the social worker and report this to them. They will be legally obligated to report it and follow through. Tell (don't ask) your friend that you are doing this because you care about her and that not taking action is NOT an option.

    Even if it means your friend may have to go back to rehab, or even temporarily to a nursing home, this is better than being in a potentially dangerous situation like this.

    (KLD)

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7. I assume she has a phone she can use.

    If you are not willing to file the APS report NOW before the situationn deteriorates even further, at least call the social worker and report this to them. They will be legally obligated to report it and follow through. Tell (don't ask) your friend that you are doing this because you care about her and that not taking action is NOT an option.

    Even if it means your friend may have to go back to rehab, or even temporarily to a nursing home, this is better than being in a potentially dangerous situation like this.

    (KLD)
    I understand.
    Thank you.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    Unless she is on a vent, there is no reason she needs someone with her 24/7.

    (KLD)
    So a "high tech baby monitor" (their words, not mine) in the room is unnecessary?

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Darryl View Post
    So a "high tech baby monitor" (their words, not mine) in the room is unnecessary?
    Given the situation you describe, I see no reason that should be required, esp. if it allows her no privacy. I assume that it is on "listen mode" all the time? This means that she cannot even have a private phone conversation without someone else listening in, and for what purpose? This is another behavior that smacks of the abuser who isolates the person and convinces them that they cannot exist without the abuser's constant presence and "support" and is constantly monitoring their activities/contacts.

    On the other hand, a wireless door bell or phone she can use independently to get help WHEN SHE WANTS IT only, would be appropriate and a good idea.

    (KLD)

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