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Thread: Hurtful Words!!!!!

  1. #51
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    My brother called me a cripple once. We didn't speak for almost twenty years after that.

    The reason I dislike the word is because Maslow (remember the theory of happiness that Ozy used to go on about?) refused to study disabled people because he believed that the "study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy," which I take total offense to.

    A lot of people before us worked hard to get us where we are ... I like to honour them by using the politically correct words. Besides, I wouldn't call someone who's mentally challenged a retard. See what I mean?

    Anyone who's injured less than twenty years, you have no idea what it was like so long ago when 'accessible' meant one or two regular sized parking spots by the door. No ramps, curb cuts were just becoming popular ... even when I was to attend high school they weren't accessible and there was a fight over sending me to school in a city with mentally and physically challenged kids. Can you imagine where my life would have gone? No way would I have had the confidence to move out at 18 and build a life for myself based on employment and a normal life!

    I feel it's too bad a lot here missed out on that time, because it's difficult to have an appreciation of what we have now, if you don't know where we've been. It's so easy to take things for granted.

    Just my opinion though. I have been known to use the word 'disabled,' though I would consider myself the complete opposite.
    Last edited by lynnifer; 10-21-2010 at 09:19 AM.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  2. #52
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    Keps, Le Type & Curt,

    Cripple simply means that you can't walk. Most gimps that I know would rather be referred to as crippled than PC bullshit like handicapible or alternately-abled. Even folks that are still pretty raw should be able to tell when someone is trying to be hurtful if they use the c-word.

    When people don't have to worry about offending you, it makes it easier to relate to you as a person, IMO.

    Don
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  3. #53
    Senior Member keps's Avatar
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    I use the word cripple, but I want to respect those who it may offend. Does that make sense?
    I don't blame anyone for being offended by the word.

    I think in my case, to me the worst type of slur is racial. Having suffered vast amounts of horrendous racial abuse, to me, other types of potential slur words don't have the same power. This is just my personal experience.

  4. #54
    Dave calls himself a cripple to family and friends as in "sure, pick on the cripple" etc.
    He would not see someone in public in a wheelchair and say "Hey, you are a crip too!"

  5. #55
    I'm pretty much the same Linda

  6. #56
    Grange so sorry. SCI has helped me see the true asshole lurking in most of the people I know/ knew.

    "Heavy words that tossed and blew me, like autumn winds just blow right through me"

    nothing anyone says affects me anymore,

    sad comment not boasting, just fucking sad
    Kindly,

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  7. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Donno View Post
    When people don't have to worry about offending you, it makes it easier to relate to you as a person, IMO.

    Don
    WHOO HOO! I can't relate to the easily offended, so it's best for me not associate with them.

  8. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    Dave calls himself a cripple to family and friends as in "sure, pick on the cripple" etc.
    He would not see someone in public in a wheelchair and say "Hey, you are a crip too!"
    Dave reminds me of myself at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm so politically incorrect about my condition.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grange View Post
    Shadydawg.... I think I understand what you are saying although I don't agree with that position. I have been amazed at the amount of comments about staying away from people or isolation as a way to deal with SCI. I have heard that people do this after a devastating injury. Me personally I cannot imagine trying to go through something like this alone. Also, though I may be different and not quite able to do the same things I did before, at least not in the same way, but I am still alive and I am determined to live this life to the fullest I can. The intent of this thread was in no way to scare other SCI folks from stepping back out into relationships. I don't know about ya'll but while I was laying in ICU for 21 days I came to realize it is the relationships in my life that are the most important things. Yes it hurts when a so called friend attacks with words but it is not the end of the world. I pointed this out in my previous post. I treat this experience like a death. I have lost a friendship. Whether he was my friend or not, I was being a friend to him. That is gone and I now have to grieve it. Just as if somebody had died. But then I have to get on with my life. I have to be available to enjoy every good moment that may be offered me. If I isolate and hide from the POSSIBILITY that somebody might hurt me.... Well that is just not for me.

    I don't mean any criticism to anybody that has shared here, just sharing my thoughts.
    i understand what you saying..mind you i still go out an stuff like it just how i does feel at times..

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grange View Post
    Shadydawg.... I think I understand what you are saying although I don't agree with that position. I have been amazed at the amount of comments about staying away from people or isolation as a way to deal with SCI. I have heard that people do this after a devastating injury. Me personally I cannot imagine trying to go through something like this alone. Also, though I may be different and not quite able to do the same things I did before, at least not in the same way, but I am still alive and I am determined to live this life to the fullest I can. The intent of this thread was in no way to scare other SCI folks from stepping back out into relationships. I don't know about ya'll but while I was laying in ICU for 21 days I came to realize it is the relationships in my life that are the most important things. Yes it hurts when a so called friend attacks with words but it is not the end of the world. I pointed this out in my previous post. I treat this experience like a death. I have lost a friendship. Whether he was my friend or not, I was being a friend to him. That is gone and I now have to grieve it. Just as if somebody had died. But then I have to get on with my life. I have to be available to enjoy every good moment that may be offered me. If I isolate and hide from the POSSIBILITY that somebody might hurt me.... Well that is just not for me.

    I don't mean any criticism to anybody that has shared here, just sharing my thoughts.
    What i wanted to say is that i just really don't go out my way to be build relationship with other people other than people i know from way back.

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