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Thread: I hate almost everybody and everything about this f'ed up sci life

  1. #81
    believe and pray.

  2. #82
    Muriel, friends have disappeared cause they know there is nothing they can do. I've seen it myself. I want new friends who are ardent in curing this abyss.

  3. #83
    Shower sex...I've left that one off my bitch list. lol. Thanks for reminding me of another good thing lost....

  4. #84
    I was going to make this a separate thread but...
    Would some kind hearted person please finish breaking my frigging neck. I mean it would mean that I would exist to the doctors, who have placed me in the impossible basket, will only treat my pain which is a symptom of the collapsing spine, the generalized left side dystonia means that my thumb and shoulder could dislocate. one would set off the other in a chain reaction, I have never been still and conscious at the same time. I take so many muscle relaxing and other drugs i rattle 40-50 mils valium in a single dose is an average. I ache exchanging one ache for another ache, refered pain am loosing weight went from 190 lb to 140 and still going down. I spend 1/2 the time with constipation the other half with the shits. a cure for sci is not going to affect me in anyway.

  5. #85
    Quote Originally Posted by all-buggered-up View Post
    I was going to make this a separate thread but...
    Would some kind hearted person please finish breaking my frigging neck. I mean it would mean that I would exist to the doctors, who have placed me in the impossible basket, will only treat my pain which is a symptom of the collapsing spine, the generalized left side dystonia means that my thumb and shoulder could dislocate. one would set off the other in a chain reaction, I have never been still and conscious at the same time. I take so many muscle relaxing and other drugs i rattle 40-50 mils valium in a single dose is an average. I ache exchanging one ache for another ache, refered pain am loosing weight went from 190 lb to 140 and still going down. I spend 1/2 the time with constipation the other half with the shits. a cure for sci is not going to affect me in anyway.
    Oh sweety, I am so sorry that you r suffering this way.
    My mouth is like a magician's hat, never know what might come out of it.

  6. #86
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I can't imagine your suffering dowds. It makes my wittle whining as of late seem stupid. I don't think many people here know your full story.

    I hope you find some peace soon.

  7. #87
    Senior Member
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    Is there any aspect of life that SCI doesn't leave it's grubby fingerprints on?

  8. #88
    i miss being happy. like, really happy. it seems like a 'good' day is simply categorized by being one where i'm not profoundly sad.

    i miss caring. because being numb is easier.

    i miss stupid things like curling up on the couch for a movie marathon and making pancakes and sitting in the grass. i miss laying upside-down on my bed and wearing ridiculous high heels and trying on dresses with friends in stores way beyond our budget. i miss having friends in general.

    i miss daydreaming about trips i want to take. i miss tickling my cousins. i miss being asked to babysit. i miss curling my hair and going tanning and getting pedicures. i miss dancing around in my underwear.

    i miss my self-worth most of all.

    "ιn ѕoмe wayѕ ι love everyтнιng. ιт’ѕ leѕѕ oғ a тнιng тнan 'lιĸe'…leѕѕ dιѕтιncт. leѕѕ…parтιcυlar. ι lιĸe тнιngѕ тнaт ι lιĸe вυт ι love everyтнιng. тнere’ѕ мore cнoιce ιn ‘lιĸe’. вecaυѕe even тнe worѕт тнιngѕ нave тнιngѕ тo love ιn тнeм. ι love тнιngѕ ѕo мυcн ι ғeel lιĸe ι coυld ғloaт away."

  9. #89
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope your situation improves, somehow.

  10. #90
    I miss standing in the shower. I miss dancing and I miss my friends who disappear. It is difficult to find new ones since I can't get around and visit people and we always have to meet in my place or a outside cafe and 8 month of the year it is cold to sit there.
    TH 12, 43 years post

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