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Thread: I hate almost everybody and everything about this f'ed up sci life

  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by rdf View Post
    We're an anomaly, at least those with complete injuries. We're supposed to be dead, evolutionarily speaking. The human body isn't designed to survive a complete spinal cord injury. We are traversing new territory never before explored.

    We are an experiment in modern medicine...and none of us volunteered. I don't feel any ill will for those who would rather have died, that is what would have happened in decades past. In the millions of years of our evolution, only in the past few decades has the possibility to stay alive been viable. Is that a good thing?

    The only way to beat back the doldrums is to stay busy, and try to be creative. Volunteering also helps. And even these will fail you at times.
    Well said. Impressive post.

  2. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I hate the fact that I feel I've wasted 25yrs. Sometimes I wish the 12yr old had died.

    Sure, I've done a lot - and on my own at that - big deal. I'm left feeling pretty darn empty.

    Across the board, some friends have kids starting school full-time, some have kids going to university for the first time. I'm here. Alone. Even acquaintances who are on welfare have families and seem to have so much fun every weekend.

    Jenn, I don't know how you can think that you've wasted 25 years. You really have accomplished so much and it has been w/o any help.

    I think back to that young girl working the midnight shift at the hospital who only got one 15 minute bathroom break (and you didn't cath, but emptied your bladder by squeezing the piss out). I felt you were being abused by the hospital, but what the hell did I know?

    And you carried a shovel to dig your car out of the snow. You were, at least in my mind, one tough chick. (As I sat in Calif. where a lttle rain was an inconvenience).

    Both you and Anna, living alone, accomplished much more than I did with working, shopping, taking care of animal friends (in your case crazy cats) and even picking up behind David.

    No frigging way did you waste 25 years. I feel like I'm making a cigarette commercial when i say you've come a long way, baby.

    When you get your health issues sorted out and behind you things are gonna look a lot brighter.

    Oh, and that pic you're using is a good one.


  3. #33
    Sam's right on.

  4. #34
    Senior Member feisty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Midtown, Sacramento, CA
    I'm usually on the positive, but lately I've realized I miss a good slow dance with a man, it's not the same as connecting horizontally. (obvs)

    there are so many different forms of it, in a dive bar with hay on the ground to Bob Seeger, at a Close friend's wedding with the groom, singing along to some dumb song with my dude bff, at my fave blues bar with someone I don't know while listening to my friend play the blues on stage...

    An administrator made me remove my signature.

  5. #35
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Oregon usa
    Man, this sure sums my day up. I wish just one thing that comes out of my mouth could be right! I guess I should know better then to walk right into baited traps, is there a polite way to tell someone to STFU? I just turned up the music and didn't make an ass of myself so thats good, I guess things could be worse, I could be them
    Last edited by Sh1wn; 09-07-2010 at 09:06 PM. Reason: spelling
    c3/c4, injured 2007

  6. #36
    I can definitely relate to most of the posts! I am just coming up on a year since my injury. When I first got home from the hospital, the crazy (suicidal) thoughts started. I was very miserable and just wanted to end it. Although, I never actually attempted it. The only things that stopped me was my religious beliefs and my then fiancé's love and support. We just got married a week and a half ago! I still have my days were nothing brings me joy and life sucks but I usually get over it. It helps to have a good support system. Its just me and my wife, i wish i had more family to help but i dont. For those that don't have anyone there, I commend you on your strength, courage, determination, and ability to persevere. Keep being strong!

  7. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post

    Sure, I've done a lot - and on my own at that - big deal. I'm left feeling pretty darn empty.

    I'm here. Alone.

    this pretty much sums it up for me right now, too. here's one for ya and everybody else:

    sometimes it just helps to scream f it, ya know?

  8. #38

  9. #39
    ...just a quick note to lynnifer on ur profile pic... (I'm not quite as classy as rdf..)

  10. #40
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
    So what happens when your passion is no more because you can't freakin concentrate. I gave it all I had and now I have to give up again. I have even ate right and lost some weight even before the change of meds the last couple of weeks. I just never could feel good here. I cannot tolerate the heat My doctor here warned me about over doing it and the effects of the heat when I got here.

    I feel like a second rate person. I have had more damn problems in the last 7 months than I can keep count of. I hurt and I am miserable.

    So going out and jumpin in a boat and smiling aint that easy right now! I appreciate your positiveness Curt but sometimes it just sucks and there is nothing else to say.

    I am angry that I have to start again and I am scared that I may not be able to start again because of this pain.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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