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Thread: T4 injury, what can they do?

  1. #11
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Word Mark and Sharon .......

    I will confess in my fervor to let Bill "do it" I forget about the sometime not so obvious logistics of doing the more mundane household chores. I guess it comes down to common sense - seeing it from waist level view and not having two hands available. Of course learning to be creative does help - for example Bill has become an accomplished swiffer/vaccumer (which I thank the gods for because we have 2 cats and a dog) and does so on a daily basis or we'd be drowning in pet dander ...... now ... it's a methodical and fairly slow moving process but it gets done and done well so we go about our business while it is accomplished as does he and life is good.

    But I completely understand the do it myself mentality Sharon - letting go is crucial to a persons sanity survival. It will get done - maybe not quite the way you'd do it .. but done none the less .... it's actually quite liberating once accepted ..... leaving more time for other things !!

    Obie
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by newbee View Post
    I dont understand why when it is something he wants to do he can do it but if I need one trash bag thrown into the garage i get the response "I cant?"
    I have to admit that I am a little guilty of this too......its called being lazy. My wife will tell you that I can load my ATV up ramps on to a truck and climb down from the top of the truck back to my chair, but fail to load the dishwasher.

    One thing you should do is leave for a week. My wife frequently has to go back to MS; she left for a week just recently, and I survive quite well on my own. I definately appreciate all she does for me though, and try not to take her for granted.

  3. #13
    One thing....when he's not around try taking out the trash yourself in his spare chair (if he has one). If it's easy, its easy. If its hard, then it's hard.

  4. #14
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    It sounds like your issues go way beyond a bag of garbage, and it is hard to know how to call it since your husband IS working full time, but physically could certainly do more. I am a much higher level than he is and manage to take care of myself mostly. Garbage, as Mark said, is not one of the better tasks done in a sitting position. There is nothing like having nice clean clothes on and then having to ride the garbage in your lap.......eww. It is the one task I routinely designate to others. When I have company I almost always ask them to throw the trash in the dumpster on their way out. If they are not here I do it myself, but am glad when I can get someone else to do it. It really sounds like the two of you need to have an honest talk, and perhaps to remember that what he might be able to do on any particular day shouldn't be written in stone if on another day he is in pain or incredibly fatigued. I don't see any reason at all that he couldn't be helping with the laundry, doing dishes, and food prep since those are nice clean tasks.

  5. #15
    What kind of work does your husband do? Could it be that he is exhausted from work and he is trying to conserve his energy? It could be that the target shooting avocation is what keeps him 'sane' and that what keeps him going. It sounds like you need more help, how old are your kids? Can they take out the garbage. I have tried taking out the kitchen garbage from a chair and dragged it leaving a wet trail of coffee grounds on the floor !

  6. #16
    I very rarely post here but read the posts daily.

    I feel that I have to say something about this post. I am T5 and live alone. I pick up the groceries, bring them in in a box and put them away. I put the garbage out, cook all my own meals, wash dishes, do the laundry and whatever else needs to be done. I also work 40 hours a week. I have been doing this since rehab 28 years ago. I am sure that many people here have similar or higher level injuries and are self sufficient. It may take a little longer for him to do it but how does he justify doing nothing while you do it for him?

  7. #17
    Was he lazy before his sci or is he just playing the cripple card now?

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan McIntyre View Post
    I very rarely post here but read the posts daily.

    I feel that I have to say something about this post. I am T5 and live alone. I pick up the groceries, bring them in in a box and put them away. I put the garbage out, cook all my own meals, wash dishes, do the laundry and whatever else needs to be done. I also work 40 hours a week. I have been doing this since rehab 28 years ago. I am sure that many people here have similar or higher level injuries and are self sufficient. It may take a little longer for him to do it but how does he justify doing nothing while you do it for him?
    X2 here. (T-2 complete)

    I work 40+ hours, volunteer at two hospitals, take care of myself (and my two daughters at times) and maintain a household.

    He needs to lose the "I Can'ts" QUICK!! Figure it out and move on. Keep a dedicated box lid to put across your lap when you need to move trash bags. Store it around the trash can so it's always handy. To get the large trash cans to the curb you just push them like a bulldozer. - use rectangular wash baskets instead of round- use a box with low cut sides to move hot objects in the kitchen. Place a folded towel on the inside as that helps with insulating your legs and absorbing the fluids that spill.

    There is a way to solve "most" of the problems he's going to encounter, but it sounds like he's just making excuses.
    Dave

  9. #19
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
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    X3.

    I use a box (that a case of soup cans comes in) to carry out the trash. Actually, these boxes are good for many things, like holding a supper plate while watching tv, or for carrying laundry, etc. Like the top boxes in the pic.


    Quote Originally Posted by Herco16 View Post
    X2 here. (T-2 complete)

    I work 40+ hours, volunteer at two hospitals, take care of myself (and my two daughters at times) and maintain a household.

    He needs to lose the "I Can'ts" QUICK!! Figure it out and move on. Keep a dedicated box lid to put across your lap when you need to move trash bags. Store it around the trash can so it's always handy. To get the large trash cans to the curb you just push them like a bulldozer. - use rectangular wash baskets instead of round- use a box with low cut sides to move hot objects in the kitchen. Place a folded towel on the inside as that helps with insulating your legs and absorbing the fluids that spill.

    There is a way to solve "most" of the problems he's going to encounter, but it sounds like he's just making excuses.
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  10. #20
    I'm T-10 aged 65, so far today 2 loads of wash, food shopping for the week and taking garbage up to the curb (retiree). The latter involves getting 2-50 gal garbage cans up a relatively steep driveway. I do this by using a bungee cord from can handle to belt strapped just above my knees. The cans are on wheels and are pushed up driveway. I do hire the lawn mowing but until 2 years ago shoveled my own snow from my chair up the hill to road. Have shoveled as much as 14". My wife is also a chair user so I was never able to grow over reliant on an AB.

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