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Thread: I'm sooo DONE!!!! :(

  1. #11
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    bc, my mother is exactly like that! she and her bf (now they r married) were always telling me that i was getting sick so frequently because i a) wanted attention b.) wasnt a christian like them. fast forward 4 yrs when a dr finally clued in that my rods were broken and then suddenly mom and hubby changed their tune to "praise god! it's a miracle u arent dead!" she also gets angry at me when i am ill. go figure.

    moving out was the best thing i ever did. i see her when i want to, i say hi when i call but she knows i am mainly calling for my lil bros, but being away from the constant negativity has helped me to feel better and focus. i dunno why some parents are like this but they are :/ it is def a form of abuse imho
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
    http://www.elportavoz.com/

  2. #12
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcsimpsons View Post
    However if she comes home and I'm not there she freaks out calls my cell. If I don't answer she leaves a voice mail claiming that she is worried about where I am and PLEASE call her back immediately so she knows I'm ok.
    Text her:
    I am ok.
    If she's truly just worried about knowing you're okay, she should be fine.

    Speaking as a family member of an injured person -- and I know I'm not the only one -- we suffer from a form of mental illness that prevents us from relaxing when we don't know for sure that our loved ones are still breathing.

    My husband was injured 9 years ago, and when I'm away from home I still have a certain need to verify that he's okay. Same with our adult kids -- I don't want to know what they're all up to, I just want to know they're still functioning. One word from them makes the whole crazy thing evaporate.

    It's an unhappy side effect of getting the crushing news that everything was NOT okay on the day of the injury. Your mom sounds like she needs to get over it and let go, but a good first step might be to just give her what she seems to want -- the assurance that you are in fact still alive, with the subtext that the rest is none of her business.

    And -- happy birthday!

  3. #13
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
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    Becky, why wait 2-3 to finish your degree? Why not live on-campus? It could be a great experience.

  4. #14
    Thanks for the comments guys! I know my mom cares about me, she just does it way to much and in the wrong way. I have texted her when she leaves voice mails but I think she takes that as "oh she's free for me to call her now", which is exactly then what happens. It doesn't happen every time, just the times when the location that I am at does not please her. I completely understand what you mean about being worried for your family, especially after going through the news we have all gone through but, there's worrying and then theres being irratioinal.
    As far as living on campus I am looking into that but where I go to school is not very w/c friendly, not to mention the added thousands of dollars. I lived on campus when I went to college originally and it was a great experience but now being super old, lol, I think it might be a bit odd (just my thought).

    Thanks again guys! I know this wave of insanity with my mom will pass until the next time she decides to be a tool. Yay vicious cycles.......

    Becky
    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  5. #15
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Can't add much. It'll be better soon. When you move.
    She was harsh but I'm glad you know she loves you.

    Happy Birthday sweetie

  6. #16
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    Becky, the last year or so that I lived with my mom I practically reversed my schedule entirely, sleeping in the daytime when I could and then staying up after she had gone to bed. I was starting to feel like some sort of Vampire, only active after everyone else was asleep, but it all changed when I finally got out and could live on my own.

    Oh yeah, a happy fu**ing birthday to you kiddo!

  7. #17
    Your doing the right thing by venting here. I believe this is the main reason for this web site. My physical disability at times is nothing compared to the mental strain that goes with our struggle. Thanks for sharing your situation it helps me knowing I am not alone in these type of situations.

    I wish I could give you some words of wisdom to make your pain bearable, but I am not that good. Hell I can't control my own. I do know when times are the bleakest for me I have received more help here then anywhere else. Time will help some, but for now all I can contribute is to throw yourself as much as possible into your work, and keep returning to this site. You are not alone, I am on your side and do truly hope you figure out something to help with your pain.

    From one bitcher to another.
    T6 complete

  8. #18
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    no, she doesnt get it, but I sympathize, my elbow and shoulder is hurting very bad today.

  9. #19
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    I am glad Kate put it into perspective

    Seriously, the day I had my accident, I think my mother developed her mental illness. Back before cell phones, if she heard an ambulance (and we lived in a small town) she would call and make sure I was at home. If I didn't answer the phone, she would call everyone and everywhere that I could possibly be.

    It just continued to get worse over the years.

    Now that I am 2500 miles away, I answer the phone only when I want to and I text to let her know that I am fine.

    Becky, I don't think you are too old to live on campus.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  10. #20
    My stepgrandma went to college, lived on campus, at 55. Determination moves mountains.

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