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Thread: Bums me out

  1. #1

    Bums me out

    Upon cleaning up my desk I came across a few old old yellowed envelopes with my moms signature on them

    I looked inside and there was like 30 very old pictures of my past ,35 mm pictures I took of my old horses and farms etc... This choked me up fast so I put them pictures away and I dont want to even think of the past years 10 -20 years ago and I just am in awe of where did these envelopes come from because I dont remember them or even these 35 mm old photos some are very yellowed ...
    I took these Envelopes of lots of pictures and hid them so I dont have to think of the past
    Especially because of my head injury I lost alot of old memories and I honestly really do not remember many of the places or animalls / horses except my old white one . Everything is a blur essentially .

    Things like this bum me out because I am living for now and not the past .

    Did anyone ever have a experience like this ?
    I know these old pictures were taken by me with my old favorite Cannon 35 mm I gave to my father

    I dont use film anymore I been using Digital for so many years Time flies .
    It sure does .

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Galloway, Ohio
    Gypsylady, I am totally on the outside looking in when it comes to even being able to relate to your feelings - completely. But I would like to share with you how pictures tears me up inside too.

    Sarah is the youngest of my children (two daughters) and 2009-2010 was her senior year. I was so excited and proud of her that I made what we all call "The wall of Sarah". This wall consisted of tons of her senior pictures taken by two different photographers and is down the hallway from the front door into our great room - she is standing, sitting, leaning, many different types of poses. We pass this damn wall a hundred times a day it seems like.

    Speaking from her mother, that wall kills me so I really do have to wonder what it does to her. We are still in the remodeling phase of our house so I am slowing taking down the pictures. Going forward, I would like for Sarah to tell me where she wants them or if she even wants them to be in plain site anymore. It really sucks!

  3. #3
    I feel the same way about old photos and videos taken in The Before Time. I used to be so careful about archiving pictures and videos I took and preserving them for future viewing. Now I can't bear to look at them. The bitter nostalgia of better times long gone tears me apart.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    i see the old pics of me as a teeny toddler, playing with my older bro, or grinning madly in front of the fighter jets on the base (i wanted to be a pilot lol dont think the airforce accepts 4'9" pilots...) and i have no emotional attachment. i know it is me but it doesnt evoke anything other than "god.. i was sickeningly cute..." to each his own?
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

  5. #5
    Senior Member tooley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Alberta, Canada
    you mean it doesn't get any easier? I have so many snowboard and dirtbike pics on my computer & phone, can't even open the folders they're in, it just makes me howl...

    I hope in time I can just get an ATV I can ride and maybe start sit-skiing, but nothing will ever replace snowboarding & dirt-biking.

    This is a bad thread you started gypsy.... I suppose it helps to get these thoughts out tho. Some pictures with old friends or old pictures with friends sure can brighten a bad day too, I'll admit that must suck not to remember.

  6. #6
    The Sept before Dave's SCI we were putting things away the lake before we went home. Some friends were out swimming with their kids in the middle of the lake on the pontoon. It was a gorgeous Indian summer day. Dave and I got in the boat and sped over to them and we went round and round making waves for the kids.We were all laughing and they took a picture. Dave has his funny hat on and I have a beer bottle between my legs and am hanging on as I usually don't like going so fast and seldon got in that boat.
    That is the most bittersweet picture of them all.
    I love and hate to look at it. Sorry to be the bummer here.
    How odd the way the pictures showed up GL.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    I have been doing this SCI thing for many decades at this point, and yet when I go by some of the old landmarks in the town I grew up in I still think to myself "I use to walk that street" or "I played in those woods almost everyday." The spot of my life changing dive is especially weird to me because I know it is the last place I ever walked.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Van Quad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Vancouver, BC, Canada
    I find this interesting because initially, during the early years of SCI, I find my peers in Vancouver are fond of pictures from the past and sharing them. It's as if we are saying: 'I wasn't always like this!'

    After a decade or two, I find it is usually the few with self-esteem problems who are still showing pre-SCI photos of themselves when they were tanned and buff.

    Pre-SCI photos have no affect on me. But Eileen's note about physical locations rang true with me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    I feel it's me then & now. So it doesn't bother me.
    In fact I love old pictures of me & my parents, brother, sister, all that are gone.
    They were great times & I love those memories!!!
    In fact I've been scrapbooking for 3 months and I'm still doing it.
    I'm making albums for Christmas.
    Going through all my old pictures. Boxes full. New pics too.

    I like the response I get from people when I show them pics of me before sci.
    They're like, "That's you?"
    Of course I wasn't an old lady then.

    Sorry gypsy. All of you that have so much pain.
    I pray it gets better with time.
    Sarah's mom. I especially know it hard when it's your child.
    God bless you and may God give you strength.

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