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Thread: Anniversary sort of

  1. #1

    Anniversary sort of

    6 crap years.

    Well the day they did the surgery after I ignored my injury til I lost B&B, right side paralyzed and left going fast on top of the excruciating pain. Now 9 surgeries/revisions in and stable although increasing stenosis and degen disc disease.


    Now Cauda Equina, foot drop, right side weakness, and the fucking relentless pain

    beat wheels 2x through rehab and have B&B but slowly loosing the ability to enervate my right leg. Strength training has helped but after a "fixed" amount of use the right side stops working.

    Did I mention the pain,

    2 suicide near misses, and dark angels follow me, and too closely.

    Off the narcotics that did near nothing but screw my brain,

    Did I mention the pain?

    Don't sleep with my wife, in another room. Rarely sleep, and the spastic movements of screaming from pain wake her.


    Somehow still love life, try to get the most from every day and pray each night to go down quietly and find respite and peace.

    Thank you all here who have helped when suicidal.

    the best club I don't want to be in

    b
    Kindly,

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tarkus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida/Mantoloking NJ
    Posts
    294
    I understand, I don't know what else to say.
    I'll be 7 years in November .

    "Somehow still love life, try to get the most from every day and pray each night to go down quietly and find respite and peace."

    Try to keep that part in mind.
    PM me anytime, I do "get it"

    Be Big,
    AMAC
    L4/L5 CES

    www.DRAFT.cc
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1024602574

    Messages from Alan Maccini and are produced utilizing voice recognition software. As a result of this on occasion a misrecognition of a word will occur and while spelled correctly will result in an unintended word appearing. We apologize for any errors.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Fithian, IL
    Posts
    1,967
    You are a very strong man....we all have alot to learn from you.

  4. #4
    2 suicide near misses, and dark angels follow me, and too closely.
    Off the narcotics that did near nothing but screw my brain.


    Been there and done that. Near misses with me is at 4. Hang in there. It's bound to get better!

    Regards,
    Millard
    ''Life's tough... it's even tougher if you're stupid!'' -- John Wayne


  5. #5
    Bill, glad those misses were misses...you are a light here in this community. Keep shining!

    Teena

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