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Thread: Assisted living apartment

  1. #1

    Assisted living apartment

    Does anyone here live in an assisted living apartment? I live in the guesthouse on my mom's property and do everything I can not to bug my family and just have caregivers take care of me. I only get 39 hours a week of care hours which gives me roughly 5 1/2 hours a day, 3.5 in the morning and 2 at night which gives me enough time to get pretty much everything you need done with someone you're except lately I've been on bed rest and now that I had this sore operated on, I need to be turned more in bed. My family is totally burned out and my mom wants me to get a live-in caregiver in my little one bedroom house. I've been sleeping in the living room for a long time now so I can watch the big screen and use my DVR. My family is totally burned out and I barely ever bug been except for when it's absolutely necessary which has been for the past couple of weeks. I want to know what it's like to live in an assisted living apartment. You know, the kind where there the nurses station but I have my own apartment and have my own privacy. I feel like a burden and it's really getting me down. I can't ever get ahold of anyone in the family when I need something anyways. And a couple of weeks I will be able to get back up again so hopefully she won't be so hard on me and I really want need their help for anything but I guess we'll see. I guess you can say that the .
    C-5/6, 7-9-2000
    Scottsdale, AZ

    Make the best out of today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Nobody knows that better than those of us that have almost died from spinal cord injury.

  2. #2
    I have a condo in an assisted living complex, which operates close to what I think you are describing. The condo units are all self-contained, just the same as any other condo would be. But there is care staff around 24 hours, a meal service where you can eat in common dining rooms or have it delivered to your condo, and housekeeping services. They also help faciliate specialized medical services such as wound care, foot care, home dialysis, etc. Everything inside and outside the buildings is wheelchair accessible. You pick what services you want or need. For example I have never eaten in the dining rooms but I do get a few meals delivered each week to my condo. Those are the pluses.

    The downside, at least initially, was that the only place I could find like this catered exclusively to people aged 55 and over. Although I was able to buy a condo despite the fact I am not over 55 given my disability. I found assisted living options outside of this model (55 plus or 60 plus or whatever)
    to be pretty much non-existent, unless I wanted to stay renting from government run housing with fewer services around to help. I don't really use the care services because while they are available 24/7, it isn't set up to accommodate a situation like mine where I need somebody around 24/7, although I don't need direct care around the clock. So I use outside caregivers provided by my insurance coverage. I do know a guy with CP in his 30s who lives 2 floors above me who just needs help or care off and on during the day. Using the care services works well for him. But having access to the specialized care that they help arrange in my home,
    such wound care, has been extremely helpful for me.

    I recently hired a live in caregiver so will see how that goes. The living situation here has been ideal for me, given my needs, with the exception of the caregiving issues. But the live in has resolved some of those issues. But I have a two bedroom condo. I can't imagine having a live in with just one bedroom. It true it took some time to get used to being 30 or 40 years younger than most of my neighbours (a few younger people with disabilities are sprinkled in), but I got over it. My neighbours have been great and several seem to have taken a great interest in my well being and are always bringing me over baking, etc. It's like having 10 of my grandmother for neighbours

    My situation is a bit unique so I don't know if any of what I just wrote is of help to you. One thing I will say is that finding a way to get independent of having my family act as caregivers was essential for me, even though they were really only filling in when I was stuck. But it got to the point where I was calling them too much, I felt, although I had no choice. Then my dad got sick and neither he nor my mom could help out me out and my siblings, while always willing to help,
    were burining out because they had their own lives and families to worry about.
    I love my family very much and am greatful they have been there for me. But for my sake and theirs, I had to eliminate my dependency on them for caregiving.
    Last edited by orangejello; 06-08-2010 at 09:23 AM.

  3. #3
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    Hi Ryan,
    While I don't live in assisted living (yet) there is one right up the street from me. It is a nice high rise and everyone has their own balcony. They were smart in where they built it because it is right across the street from a supermarket and pharmacy, along with a bunch of restaurants. I see people all the time crossing the street on the mega-enhanced street crossing lane (about thirty feet wide with flashing lights!), in addition to seeing the paratransit vans in and out of there constantly, so clearly people are coming and going, doing what they want/need to get done. It is as OJ described in terms of population, with most people being over 55, but that also means fewer kids screaming in the hallways or rap music at full tilt, and occasional problem where I live.

  4. #4
    Rybread, have you tried calling the folks over at the Disability Empowerment Center (DEC) in Phoenix? They may have some suggestions as their entire operation is dedicated to assisting the disabled community. Good luck. http://www.abil.org/dec.htm

    I also bumped the thread in the funding, legislation, advocacy forum.

    Onward and upward,

    Chris
    Last edited by Chris Chappell; 06-08-2010 at 11:24 AM.

  5. #5
    Hi Rybread I was just thinking of you and upon reading this First you are not a burden
    My family did the same junk to me it hurt's

    Everything you described hits deep to me because I know how you feel my friend

    The Assisted Living concept is nice , I've thought about it in my past


    Briefly I lived in a nursing rehab facility , We had a nurses station directly in the center and it was kool imop it was as close to a Assisted Living Facility as I wanted
    Some people loved the convience and to them it was their homes For better term's

    Plus the facility was in a big city and near lot's of stores and we could go shopping etc...

    I am not a city girl so as soon as I was ok I moved back home and love my country life which made my dogs happier

    So much of what you wrote is mirrored it is amazing and I hope you can see you are not alone ...

    Sadness or Depression hit's all of us at some point in life Especially with Family BS We dont need that unnecessary baggage ,( i'll call it )
    I used to feel the same way and do at times but realized all I got to do is work at my own pace .

    The burdening word is heavy almost too heavy
    We are not burdens
    We are people who sometimes need aid or help from someone we can feel safe and trust Without being Emotionally upset



    Honestly my family only was there as I was unconcious and in / out of it for about 9 day's or as they proclaim 11 lol BTW they came here cleaned me out and left lol

    ( Forgiveness ) is something a special word that I basically let grow inside of my new re developing / healing , body & Soul, Being Reborn

    I love my family and forgave their mis advantages ( Greed ) BTW I live 1400 miles from them

    They know where to find me
    Life is funny Sometimes distance and recovery make a stronger person in the long run

    Rybread it is funny how my family cant / can not handle the country life of this ol Gypsylady They just arent able to deal with simple life

    I say this with a smile and hope you are feeling better
    Sorry I wrote lenghtly this was a small milestone for mankind
    Next time i'll try to write less than 10,000 words with hugs to ya all

    Sincerely ;
    Gypsylady

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    OJ I'd like to know the name of where you live. I looked hard for something like where you are but could never find any. Here in Texas ALL assisted living require you take care of your own bathing & toileting yourself. Which leaves me out! They're set up okay. Small units with a full bedroom with a kitchenet & small living area. There'a a couple aides there on duty but the nurse is only there M-F business hours and only for minor problems. No real care. Look at you & send you to ER. lol Serve 1 meal a day in the dining room.
    So I thought my private aides from my home health service could come in the morning & back at night. Since their aide couldn't transfer, bathe, or help me with my bp. But that didn't work because they take your Medicare ck except 75 dollars a month to pay the rent & care there. Then you don't qualify for Home Health Care. The government calls that double paying for care.

    Ryan, So be sure & ck out if you still qualify for hhc living in assisted living. You don't in Texas.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Mona~on~wheels View Post
    OJ I'd like to know the name of where you live. I looked hard for something like where you are but could never find any. Here in Texas ALL assisted living require you take care of your own bathing & toileting yourself. Which leaves me out! They're set up okay. Small units with a full bedroom with a kitchenet & small living area. There'a a couple aides there on duty but the nurse is only there M-F business hours and only for minor problems. No real care. Look at you & send you to ER. lol Serve 1 meal a day in the dining room.
    So I thought my private aides from my home health service could come in the morning & back at night. Since their aide couldn't transfer, bathe, or help me with my bp. But that didn't work because they take your Medicare ck except 75 dollars a month to pay the rent & care there. Then you don't qualify for Home Health Care. The government calls that double paying for care.
    That doesn't sound good Mona I hope you can find something that will fit you budget and your needs and where you will be happy living. It can be very stressful trying to find a good living setup when one has to take into consideration the needs of a spinal cord injury. I know that because I searched for a long time until I found this place. And then I had to wait until a unit came open for sale. Once I bought it, I then went through a nightmare of renovation delays because, although my condo unit was already accessible when I bought it, it needed some remodelling to make it work best for me given the size of my powerchair. Finding a good place to live is really important.

    I can send you the website of the complex where I live and you can have a look at it if you like. I don't want to post it here because it has the address and very nice, detailed map and I am not comfortable with that going up in public.

    But I just want to clarify two things. Where I live is assisted living, but the units are condos, not apartments where you rent. So I had to buy my unit outright. And it wasn't cheap, unfortunately. I also pay a fairly heftly monthly condo fee (on top of the mortgage to the bank). That covers some of the what they consider "assisted living services," but not very many. Basically it amounts to limited PCA assistance and the security of being able to call somebody 24/7 and have them at your door within minutes in the case of an emergency. It also covers things like yard work and general upkeep of the complex outside of the individual units.

    If you want to be on a meal plan or have housekeeping, that is extra, although you can customize it quite a bit to pay for only what extra services you want or need. So the monthly total can be quite costly depending on that, unfortunately. Things like helping arrange for specialized home care services like wound care is covered under the general condo fee--but I live in Canada where in most cases the actual care part is already covered anyway for everybody under provincial health care plans. So that is also something to keep in mind as I am not sure how different things might be in the US. Or even in other parts of Canada, for that matter as each province does things a little different when it comes to health care. At any rate, this setup has worked well for me so far, although it has taken significant time to work out my private caregiving issues within this framework. But I will say that assisted living, as much as I hated the idea at the start, has given me a safe and comfortable place to live that meets my needs for being accessible. So I am glad I made this choice, even if things got very bumpy with the private caregiver problems I had earlier this year, which actually had nothing to do with where I live.

    I hadn't seen any posts from you for some time and was just about to post in the women's only forum to ask if anybody heard from you as I was a little worried. I am glad to see you posting. I hope you are doing well
    Last edited by orangejello; 06-12-2010 at 08:26 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Thanks OJ for explaining in detail. I had forgot you live in Canada. I'm glad the place has worked out so well for you. But I couldn't move so far off from my girls & grandkids. Nor buy a condo. I'm happy with my arrangment now living by my sister. I'm always keeping my eyes open for the future. If something happened to my sister I might have to move. kwim?
    When I was in the Nursing Home I was searching everywhere to get out, and in all my searches Canada had the best health & living arrangements. Mainy because they allowed you to get care from living in an assisted living & outside health care to come in also. Texas won't allow that on Medicare/Medicaid.
    Thanks for asking about me. I've been scrapbooking. I started making an album in April for my daughter's birthday May 4th. Which has expanded to a Christmas present in Dec.. It's creative (uses my brain cells) and keeps me occupied. I do it on my pc. Which makes it easy.
    I hope you're enjoying spring. It's already hot in Texas!
    Take care sweetie. Again thanks for helping. Mona

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