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Thread: Am I able to?

  1. #1

    Am I able to?

    I think I am posting this in the right place.

    Last week we have started having an aide come for when my mom goes back to work. They have sent me 3 different girls and one of them I don't like at all, her attitude is terrible she acts like she hates her job and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Its like when I ask for something its this huge inconvenience for her to do it. Am I able to request she doesn't ever come? The two times she has been here it has put me in a terrible mood all day. I feel bad for wanting to do that but why should I compromise my happiness because she doesn't like her job? Am I able to do that?

  2. #2
    You are paying for it and they are employees and if your not satisfied contact the agency and get somebody your cornfortable with and are satisfied with there service. Also, keep in mind that they need to be dependable and understand your needs as you rely on them. Don't settle!

  3. #3
    Most of the time I am very happy with the girls they have sent. They are very nice and helpful and they help my mom understand a lot of things. This girl though, she would sit down and read or study or whatever and if I asked for anything she would be like "hang on" or "in a minute" then when she did finally do what I asked she would go to the kitchen fill a cup up or whatever it was I asked for, set it on my tray ALWAYS forgot a straw and when I asked for one she would sigh and roll her eyes at me. If there was anyone I ever wanted to run over since I have been in this chair its her! And yet I feel guilty for it!

  4. #4
    You bet Raf, kick her to the door. One of the main things we learn in gaining independence is to be able to manage caregivers and the organiztions that send them. I know people that would get a different caregiver everytime. This meant training each one on your particular needs. Basically, he was training the CG's for the organization.

    You must be firm on who comes into your life to do the tasks necessary. Once a person is more established, they usually hire their own private caregiver. It makes life much easier and is much much cheaper.

    Keep track of your meds and valuables as you don't know these people at all. I'm sure you'll hear horror stories here from those who didn't take action and let whomever do the caregiving by CG's sent to them from agencies.

    Looks like you and your mom are really on top of it. Way to go. Is your mom with any support group or? If not, my group has a great caregiver outreach run by the mother of a 19 yr. old paragirl. She needs to learn so much also. If you want her address pm me.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Galloway, Ohio
    Oh heck yes you can! You have a right to request someone else instead of her and her attitude. Sarah has had the same aide for almost a year - and we are lucky. She has become like part of our family. Now I must say, we have struggled more on the nursing side than I would have ever expected. The actual owner of the agency is now the only nurse that comes to see Sarah. Finally everyone is on the same page. Sarah is not so easy to get close to and it has taken a long time. They know that they can not make any quick changes in her care.

    You want someone that you are comfortable with to start with. This person needs to totally understands your needs and is willing to be there when you need them. It is truly an adjustment but if they are not available to you, then they are useless. Call and have a chat with someone at the agency and make sure that they know what you are looking for in an aide. This is all about you.

  6. #6
    Mom has been going to her support group once a week. She has more trouble with what I am going through that I seem to. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of weak moments, just don't choose to share them with my mom, it would make things far worse on her. She has been getting close with another mother who has a son who broke his neck in a motorcycle accident. He doesn't live near us anymore though.
    I think we are going to check into having just one aide. Start that process because I feel weird every time a new person comes. I want what Sarah has. I think it would just be easier that way.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Galloway, Ohio
    I agree that it would be easier. For all of you knowing that the person that will be there with you is the same and will be there every day. It will allow you to get a routine with the aide too. Sarah's aide knows when to wake her up and when to let her sleep - she knows her personality. Her aide now even takes her out to eat and shopping on her own time. They have built a good bond. It has helped me a lot and has given Sarah some freedom without me always being there. Set your standards and do not sway. They will help you find the right person.

    We take Sarah to SCI-Step in Mason Ohio each week and that is my therapy too. I love her being there and they are great people. It makes me feel more at ease knowing that she does not have to feel alone. Sarah does not know anyone else in the Columbus area that has a SCI.

  8. #8
    When my daughter first returned home, we had aids coming to our home at various times (we were eligible for so many hours/week so we tried to divide it up among times so I could run errands and her sister could go out with her friends) and at first we had 3-4 different aids each week.

    There was one caregiver who was really sweet to Kaitlyn and eventually we made a request to the agency to have her as often as possible, and they obliged. I'm sure they would be equally as accomodating if I had requested she not come back.

  9. #9
    Senior Member reedyd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Fort Worth, Texas
    You have rights and choosing your own caregiver is one of them. Be sure and give everyone a chance. I have always ran my own ads and then had the agency sign up the people I want to hire.

  10. #10
    Mom is doing research right now on costs of having one and different places to find one. We are allowed 6 hours a day right now through the agency. And also calling the agency to see if we can get the one girl more often because I like her a lot.

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