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Thread: I need some alternative perspectives...

  1. #11
    I've been Cisco's caregiver for ten years. Why not try what I do. I buy myself something, then come home and thank him for the amazing gift!! That way I always get what I want.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by CiscoNJenn View Post
    I've been Cisco's caregiver for ten years. Why not try what I do. I buy myself something, then come home and thank him for the amazing gift!! That way I always get what I want.
    I'm glad I am not the only person that does that!!

  3. #13
    Ha, that's how I got a Kindle for my 50th!

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by betheny View Post
    Ha, that's how I got a Kindle for my 50th!
    Hmmmmm-my birthday is coming up in July......

  5. #15
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Hilarious ...... I do exactly the same with the gift to myself as well .... and with my kids too sometimes!Life's too short to waste a second of it being knowingly disappointed.

    Bill and I have been married 32 years ... 12 of them sci .. and we have a similar relationship to all of you above ..... I'd go with Beth's idea and actually already have myself .... we need to TELL them what we need most of the time .... it's not their fault ... they're from Mars remember

    Mazel tov on your anniversary ..... won't be many celebrating such milestones in the future I'm afraid !!

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  6. #16
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    personally, it seems u have known that ur hubby is not the romantic type for 30+yrs, so why be upset about it? i agree with the others that you need to tell him what it is that you want (but from your original post, it doesn't seem very clear that you have a good idea of what you want). i never understood why so many woman put such big emphasis on things as a sign of how someone feels for them. or as betheny called it "martrydom". you didnt say how the trip went. did you laugh? cuddle? sexy time?? enjoy each others' company?

    for ur bday i say u hire someone, if u can, for the weekend, go out for an all out spa treatment. tell him how grateful you are that he thought you needed some pampering.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
    http://www.elportavoz.com/

  7. #17
    Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelpa123 View Post
    Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!
    and u got a shiny! lol. here's to many more years!
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
    http://www.elportavoz.com/

  9. #19
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelpa123 View Post
    Thanks everyone! It really did help to hear your thoughts. For the most part, our circle of friends are AB and don't know the details of the caregiving support I provide. I prefer it that way but as Kate pointed out, the imbalance that this creates leaves me craving occasional recognition for the long list of small sacrifices that I make. After 30 years, I do know the man and it's foolish to expect him to act differently now. I love him dearly and am truly a fortunate woman!!
    And he is no doubt a very fortunate man
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  10. #20
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    I get it but for the most part, "most" men don't think like we do.

    Mine is really good with splurging on me even though I sometimes get gifts he wants. I often feel I'm the one letting him down gift wise but I know he buys all year long as I do too.

    Happy 30th! Perhaps you can also mention finding yourself some p/t help for the next year. Very reasonable request if possible.

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