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Thread: IVF Unsuccessful

  1. #1
    Senior Member Belle's Avatar
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    IVF Unsuccessful

    Well, I guess that says it all...sigh.

    Our infertility issue is centered around my husband's lack of sperm production. We have double trouble, since my husband had a vasectomy several years prior to his injury. The combination of the two is just too much for his body to overcome. We have twice now gone to great lengths to extract sperm, only to fail at the fertilization phase of the IVF/ICSI.

    We are disappointed and sad at the outcome...and it kinda sucks that we are both still recovering from surgeries knowing it's not working.

    I have no idea how common it is or isn't for men to be in this situation, but in case anyone searches on this topic I just have to say that while it is possible for the doctors to do amazing things with IVF and surgery, there are no guarantees!

    *************
    AB wife of T8 complete para

  2. #2
    I'm very sorry, Belle. I can't begin to understand your disapointment and sadness. Here's a big hug, anyway. <HUG>

    Sue

    "Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean." C. Reeve

  3. #3
    I'm sorry.

    Disappointment sucks so bad.

    "You need to march. You need to demand action. You need to stop feeling unempowered and do something...Freedom is your right. Until you claim your self-confidence and know your worth, no one will give it to you. It starts with you."-LetsGo

  4. #4
    Senior Member Belle's Avatar
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    Thanks, Sue and Betheny!

    *************
    AB wife of T8 complete para

  5. #5

  6. #6
    So sorry, Belle. I am sure you already know that even the best infertility programs average only about 30% success (actual live birth), which means that roughly 1 in 3 of the couples they work with actually conceive a child and carry it to term.

    Have you considered donor sperm?

    Have you considered adoption?

    (KLD)

  7. #7
    Senior Member Belle's Avatar
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    Adoption was never an option we liked - we had so hoped to have a child that was ours together. My husband has a ten year old son from a previous marriage, so we do have one (non-custodial) child to care for already. I don't think we would qualify for the stereotypical "healthy white infant", and we'd be too old by the time we'd get one anyway (if they would even approve a disabled parent, ADA notwithstanding). We've decided that one special needs person in this household is all we can handle. I know there are people out there who do amazing things as caregivers for special needs children, but that is out of our league (at least as a voluntary choice).

    My brother and his wife are in the process of not one, but actually two international adoptions. We have already expended that amount of effort on the IVF, I don't think we have the energy left for that.

    KLD, it does look like we are going to try the donor sperm route. The doctors have been recommending that. We have resisted this so far, but that's really going to be our last reasonable effort. I'll be meeting with the doctors again in a couple of weeks. I have never had childbearing or child rearing as a major component of my self-image, or I would have had a child by now already. We are very disappointed with our (lack of) results so far, but it won't be the end of my (our) world if that doesn't work either.

    BTW, I think, technically, it's a 30% success rate per IVF cycle - depending on the problem, sometimes multiple cycles improve the overall odds of conception for individual couples. That is how it was presented to us. Unfortunately, we just weren't able to get even to the embryo stage - which makes it pretty much useless to keep trying.

    I should make a point to emphasize, our infertility issue is probably due more to the vasectomy than the SCI. We can't be sure we wouldn't have had the same problem even if there hadn't been the accident. It didn't help though, and it limited our options.

    *************
    AB wife of T8 complete para

  8. #8
    An adopted child IS your child together....if you raise the child, this makes them yours, regardless of their genetics. I know a number of people in chairs who have successfully adopted same-race non-disabled children, generally through private adoption rather than agencies. Don't rule it out completely without really exploring this option...there are children who need you, and not all are special needs or foreign-born. Speak to someone at Catholic Family Services...they often have resources and information for private adoptions.

    (KLD)

  9. #9
    Senior Member krajaxa's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your disapointment.

    We were the lucky ones to have our "Precious Gifts" conceived on the first try. We went the most expensive route after talking to two infertility specialists. It meant for hubby to get his sperm surgicaly removed from his testes and the ICSI process for my side. I know the age has lots to do with it too (I'm 28). Needless to say, we still would like to do it again couple of years from now...

    Good luck to you on whatever you decide to do...

    krajaxa

  10. #10
    Senior Member mk99's Avatar
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    Belle, I'm so sorry to hear that you were not successful on your first try. Neither were we and it was also because of my sperm.

    So for IVF attempt #2 we decided to really hit the sperm problem dead on:

    1. I had them use a long ass needle to go and get fresh sperm right where they are made (TESE method I believe)
    2. my frozen sperm from electroejaculation
    3. donor sperm as backup

    The fresh sperm they got was good quality and so we fertilized 6 good eggs. 4 made it and we implanted the best 2. Now my son & daughter are 19 months old! (and we have 2 leftover frozen embryos that we plan to donate to create a stem cell line)

    So don't give up! My situation sounds just like yours... give it another try if you can afford it emotionally & financially!

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