Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Mom's letter to Santa

  1. #1
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    bellevue, wa, usa
    Posts
    10,992

    Mom's letter to Santa

    Dear Santa,

    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

    Here are my Christmas wishes:

    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

    I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

    If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays big-people music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

    On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

    And please don't forget the Play-doh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine.

    If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

    If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It would clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs in his pajamas to eat contraband ice cream at midnight.

    Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

    Your's Always,
    Mom

    P.S. One more thing: You can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young...




    Merry Christmas, everybody! I didn't write this letter, but I sure could have at one point in our lives. If I come up with one for moms of young teenagers, I'll let you know.

  2. #2
    Merry Christmas, Kate!

    _____________
    What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things. - Margaret Mead

  3. #3
    I'm sending this to my mom now....with five boys at home when I was growing up, I'm sure she can relate.

    "...if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down" - Old School Gin Blossoms

  4. #4
    Senior Member krajaxa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    New Castle, PA
    Posts
    306
    I loved it! Thanks Kate, and Merry Christmas all.

    http://www.riversongs.com/Flas/seasons.html

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •