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Thread: Little brother

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Green Ridge, MO, USA

    Little brother

    We have 2 boys. Lucas, 20, was injured July 19th, 2004. Andrew, 17, tries to say detached from the issue, as much as he can. When he's called on to help, though, he does; such as ranging Luke's legs in the morning, transferring him to the bathtub, etc.
    When Luke was first injured, it broke Andrew's heart. He swore that he'd "be there" for his brother. Such a huge demand for a 16/17-year old. Should I force the issue or let Andrew deal with it in his own way? Andrew never had social opportunities until now, so I don't push the issue when he has an opportunity to go out instead of helping at home. He makes himself scarce or mentally not there when people talk about Luke. Is this normal? He and Lucas were just starting to get closer when the accident happened. Lucas used to see Andrew as a pest, instead of a support or a friend. Now,I guess the tables have turned. Any insight would be appreciated.
    Jennifer (Luke's Mom)

  2. #2
    Wow, sounds sooo much like me and my bro. Same age difference and everything, except I'm the younger 'pest'. We got pretty distant right after my accident. I hated that, but I'd say it's a pretty normal stage in the acceptance process . . . and pretty normal for any 17-year-old to want time away from the family. When I was that age (pre-sci) and I got a car, I was outa there most of the time!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    PA, USA
    I agree, I think it's difficult no matter what the age, much less a 17 year old. You go from wanting to do everything for him to make things easier for him, to holding back to let them have some independance, and not knowing which to do. He probably will need time to accept it, he probably looks up to his older brother, it must be tough for him to see him like this. Just like anyone seeing someone they love in this position, I think he will need some time to accept it. Not talking about it or seeming to not notice it might just be how he can handle it best right now. Teenagers emotions can be all wacked out anyway.


    "Your children make it impossible to regret your past"

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