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Thread: Broken hearts

  1. #1

    Broken hearts

    Sometimes I just do not get the clues or reasons why everything goes upside down .

    Yesterday was a absolutely lovely day , Night time came and I do not know why lovers / partners / soulmates flip their coins and you see a different face all of the sudden !

    My B/F / soulmate basically my life he is my lover and means the world to me but Late last night he got ugly and verbally ore me to shreds for no apperant reason that I could see . He said he needed his room and space basically using vulgar words in between and so forth .
    I asked him what was the problem but he would not give me a answer . I finally told him lets put my van on the road and i'll split because this was rediculous . He did finally say shortly ( briefly ) because I am a poor lady and Gypsy he is tired of a disabled person .
    Deep inside I felt my soul eroding , basically I probably am nothing .
    All night I hardly slept because I silently cried / I hope to just get my van on the road and leave as my heart hurts from the emotions .

    Just because I am poor and disabled I am frustrated emotionally and I do not show my feelings , rather I am bottling up .
    Everything around me is crumbling ,maybe I just do not need to live or go on , I just don't know , This concept ran through my mind earlier tonight , he came in my home and I could see he was not himself , he went / regressed to his old crappy ways of being arrogant and bringing up that he was out with his old trouble making friends , he was verbally snotty and rude to me so I told him to go think things over when he is back to himself , think logically !
    Before I split
    I dont know where I fit in or will go and who cares , judging me becaue I am poor and disabled urk's me but he is entitled to his opinions ,
    In a few hours I will be going through the phone book looking for affordable appartments leaving alot behind and just hopefully taking my basics . Man he tore me apart emotionally This sucks when the one you love the most turns on you like a rabid dog .
    Sometimes life just sucks and mean people just got to be the ones to get their last word in !
    If I split he will never see me
    Right now I am trying to think of where to turn to for ideas as I am totally emotionally torn up
    Sorry I quickly jotted this out but No Disabled person should be judged because they are different and poor .

    I love you all and thank you all for everything .

  2. #2
    You ARE something. Write again.

  3. #3
    Wish there was something I could say, but we know there isn't. Hang in we love you. ...Never give up!

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  4. #4
    Don't leave until you know where you're going. If your safety is an issue have the authorities make him leave until you find somewhere safe.
    Are you sure it's over?

  5. #5
    stand your ground, jerks like him are a dime a dozen. they always are looking for greener pastures. You deserve better. I agree, dont leave until you find someplace of your own. screw him.
    “If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking.” Gen. Patton

  6. #6
    Senior Member anban's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Gold Beach, Oregon
    I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I read your posts, and am inspired by you and your outlook on life. I know the hurt won’t go away but I know just by reading what you say that you are an amazing person…. and I would rather be around an amazing "poor and disabled" person that a rich well bodied asshole.

  7. #7
    I gotta agree, kick him out!!! there is no need or reason why you should tolerate his behavior and call the police/sheriff/whatever if he fights.

    Good luck, prayers and hugs to you!

  8. #8
    Sounds like he is into drugs or booze or something or just has mental problems. Don't worry yourself about it, it is him, not you. Stay strong, move on and make sure he is gone. hey, I'm a poet and don't know it
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  9. #9

    Center for Independent Living

    I'm not sure where you live and if there is an independent living center nearby you or not but if there is they may be able to help. Some independent living centers offer free legal representation and that may be what is required to make him leave. Depending on how the lease is written, etc. you may be able to have him evicted. Just an idea...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    Sorry gypsy! If that's the way he thinks, he's not worth having!
    If you're both on the lease, let him leave!
    At least till you find the right place for you.
    Please try not to cry. You're not losing much when he's gone.
    What comes around goes around. He better watch his back.

    {HUGS} Mona

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