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Thread: Marriage commitment after SCI

  1. #1

    Marriage commitment after SCI

    I have had someone to day tell me that 99% of marriages break up after one spouse receives a sci. What is your input into this. I don't agree. My son is 28 and is a C1-2 as of last April 17th and I believe his and his wife's faith and our strong family and church family is a great asset that will make all the differnce. Sandy

  2. #2
    Here is some information about marriages that occur after the spinal cord injury:

    "Outcomes of Post-Spinal Cord Injury Marriages"

    More than 50% of marriages that occured prior to the spinal cord injury end in divorce, but it certainly is not 99%. 5 years post injury, of those married at the time of injury, 89% are still married (compared to 81% of those couples married 5 years previously without a SCI).
    Here is a good article (not specific to SCI) on divorce and disability:

    Divorce and disability

    Those with traumatic brain injuries have much higher divorce rates than those with SCI.

    In my personal experience, if the marriage was already in trouble, SCI is nearly always the straw that breaks the camel's back. If the marriage was strong, it often survives and many couples report that they are closer.


  3. #3
    Thank you so much for your information! I thought that may have been a disparaging remark about the 99%. I feel so much that it is all about your faith, family and community, and personalities besides of course your love that makes all the difference. Sandy

  4. #4
    A C1-2 injury is a devastating blow, but so much of marital longevity depends on sheer stubbornness. I think it depends on the personalities. I wish them all the luck in the world, and tell them we're here if they need us.

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

  5. #5
    My Husband, Colin, and I just celebrated our 18th year wedding anniversary--nearly 4 years to the day of my c4/c5 SCI. Our relationship was solid before our car accident, we are even more rock solid now. We are in this together.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Griffith, In
    Sandy, There are many times I hate the way Joe's SCI has changed our lives. But, I have never stopped loving him. I admire him, his courage and determination more every day. He is the most amazing person I know. We still have disagreements, but we know that our relationship is rock solid. He has once or twice told me that he is afraid I will leave him. All I can do is laugh and tell him that he is stuck with me forever and I mean every word of it.

    They will have tough times and bad days, but they can keep their marriage together and be happy. There are many of us here to attest to that. Tell your daughter-in-law about us, tell here to come here to vent, to get advice, or just to let her know that she is not alone.


  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Houston, texas
    i am sure if the marriage continues the significant other will cheat though.

    I hope not but most of the girls i've met would and said they would.

  8. #8
    That has not been my experience. I know many couples who are very happy and faithful to each other. Most of these one of the two is AB and the other is a PWD, but some both are disabled. You are newly injured, and have less experience in this. Sounds like you are not meeting any nice women. Where are you finding women to date? In bars,etc.? Perhaps try elsewhere?


  9. #9
    keep the faith! I think it's society. My husband isn't even home yet and people talk to me as if I would leave him as soon as he comes back from rehab. I've learned to just ignore the talk. Just because he got into an accident doesn't mean he's a different person.

  10. #10
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Bill and I will have been married 27 years this Oct. he has been injured 6 years. The thought of leaving him has never entered my mind but I'd be a liar if I didn't say our relationship has changed. We are so much closer in some ways and miles apart on some other issues! The way I look at it is our love for each other is continually evolving and at this moment in time we are in a significantly different phase of that relationship doing the best we can ..... to survive .... I believe we are here to learn and boy are we ever learning !!!!

    P.S. We have 4 kids and a trunk load of memories to share as well .... puts us in a different place perhaps then someone just newly married and starting out together who has been injured .....

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