Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 49

Thread: It's official ...

  1. #11
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    4,742
    Martha-
    from what you've said it seems that he is a very bright young man. Your description of the science project seems to be a small glimpse into what he is capable of. You say he's ADHD & on a high dose of medication. Is it possible that as opposed to having ADHD he's bored? I'm sure that both my sister & I would have been diagnosed w/it when we were kids if we hadn't been in such a great school & if they diagnosed it back then like they do now. Instead, we were in a gifted education program. What I am trying to convey here is: Is it possible that he's failing 4th not so much because he doesn't or didn't understand the concepts being taught, but more to the point, he did & is bored so maybe not really paid much attention & didn't do the necessary work? I understand that he may also have the emotional issues you described as well, but I really have to wonder if he is Gifted. I'm sorry if I've rambled or don't make sense, I hope that something I've said may be of some help to you guys. I'm sorry that homeschooling is not an option & I'm sorry about the circumstances that make it so. I hope you find the answer you need and get him the best education that you can.

    'Chelle

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,912
    Lindox, you've made some great observations. Are you sure you don't live with us?

    Sylvan is definitely an option, one that his father and I agree on. He's had counseling but it hasn't been enough, or right, or something. We're discussing that too. His friends are ALL younger than he is. Even as an 11 year old 4th grader, he hangs out with the 2nd and 3rd graders. The boys his age are WAY beyond him emotionally.

    Like his mother, he hates change, but is definitely more traumatized by it than I am. For example one weekend he was gone I moved a rather "worn" antique chest of drawers into his room as a surprise, sort of a reward (long story, won't bore you with it). I couldn't wait to show him. Instead of being excited or even pleased, he looked hurt and confused. Then he looked at me with those big brown eyes and asked why I'd done that, where was the other dresser (which was a piece of junk), etc. Then he quietly said he would need some time to get used to it. I later apologized to him for not getting his permission to switch those dressers. Might seem petty to me but to him it was a serious violation.

    So, we try to avoid changes like that when we can.

    Yes, he needs that rock, and I'm afraid for almost a year now I've been a quivvering mass of toxic emotional waste--but I'm getting better, slowly but surely.

    BW, he's bright but I don't think he's gifted. Who knows, maybe when he works through his stuff I'll discover a little Einstein but for now I'm trying to meet him "where he is." Sometimes I don't know where that is.

    Thanks again everyone.

  3. #13
    Martha

    Do you have any Rudolph Steiner schools close to you? I know children going to schools like this in Norway, and it is especilly for children who act a little different in normal schools. I found one link to a school in California. I know the map of the USA so I know it is very fare from you but it has to be other schools like this

    http://www.steinercollege.org/

    This school in Norway is not very expencive, they have very good results. A friend of mine has a girl with a selectiv talking disorder, it means in this case, she does not speak to adults except her mother and her sisters. She is 12 and started to this school in November and are already talking to her teachers. And she has never done that in the public school.

    TH 12 incomplete 12-12-69. I am still a walker but I do not know for how long time.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,912
    Yesterday afternoon Ruslan's father and I had a private discussion with him after he got home from school. We told him that, according to the state laws, he would be repeating the 4th grade. This clearly was a shock to him. Even though we'd been warning him for months, I believe he simply didn't think it would actually happen.

    Monday he will be tested at Sylvan. We believe this is our best course of action at the time. After his evaluation, we'll determine how much time he'll be spending there this summer. Along with Sylvan, summer school is a viable option as well.

    When I asked him how he felt about this news, he broke down crying. He was devastated. At one point he threw his arms around me and buried his face on my shoulder and bawled. My heart broke. He's a hurting, confused, scared, angry boy, trying so hard to figure out where he fits in.

    When he walked out of the house with his father and sister for the weekend, I felt myself beginning to shut down again, to block out the pain. I knew I should be crying, but I couldn't. Sometimes being a parent is so overwhelming, and I don't feel smart enough or strong enough most of the time. Then I remembered someone saying that tears are a demonstration of our strength, that it takes strength and courage to let go of that shield we throw up at times to protect ourselves ... maybe, still can't. Time.

    Thanks again everyone.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,912
    Update: Ru spent the day testing at Sylvan yesterday. Scott and I had a conference with the administrators today, and Ru is at his first session right now. He couldn't wait to go back! Whatever they do over there, it clicked with my son. He even thanked God for Sylvan last night when we said his prayers.

    But geez ... they aren't cheap.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Burnsville, MN, USA
    Posts
    143
    Good news amongst the clouds! Hang in there, Martha, you'll figure out the right path.

    Hugs,
    Sue

  7. #17
    Cheaper than military school...lol ..I bet he does great! All education is an equity investment..keep investing, you will have a great return...good luck Ruslan!

  8. #18
    Good to hear Martha.
    Yes, I have heard from participants they are
    not cheap..but out here nothing is..even the
    private pre-schools are outlandish.

    The Sylvan Center in the city I live does offer financial aid to those in need.

    Sounds like he is interested in this type of
    atmosphere.
    Maybe after he gets caught up academically..
    he could join a YMCA group or a Boys and Girls Club type of activity center and be exposed to interaction with children in his age group.

    Hang in there girl.

    "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,912
    Thanks Lindox ... I appreciate your advice and support, along with everyone elses. We've also enrolled him in summer school. June is not going to be a fun, carefree month for the boy but these are the consequences of ignoring our warnings and pleadings for months. Hopefully everything will click for him.

    Hey, military school is a definite option as far as I'm concerned. Maybe not now, but there's a great one in Mississippi. Actually it's not military but run by an order of monks. I know men who attended there as boys. They say it saved them from themselves. However I'm happy to say that we're not at that point yet with my son.

  10. #20
    Senior Member DA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    beaumont tx usa
    Posts
    32,389
    home schooling. a tutor.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •