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Thread: Another child? We can't decide...

  1. #1

    Another child? We can't decide...

    With my baby turning into a toddler and my next Depo shot just around the corner I keep wondering if we want another kid or not. at times Violet is a little terror and we both say NO WAY, but then I look at her baby pictures and wonder "what if". Do I want to risk another pregnancy, esp. with the Mitrofanoff? What if something happens to me and Violet loses her mom? If we don't have more will she regret being an only child? If we do have another, do we have it now or when Violets 3 or 4? If we decide on not having any more do I stay on Depo (Ugghh) or does Jose (eek) get a vasectomy?

    I know it's a question only we can answer...and not SCI specific (although if I wasn't SCI I'd definitely have another child).

    "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
    ~ Anon

  2. #2
    Wait a little more. Two so close children makes you really tired.

    In Norway we use to say
    One is like none and two is like ten
    I would have waited untill she was three an finished with the diapers.

  3. #3
    Junior Member HeatherBug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Hurricane, WV USA
    go for whatever your heart husband is a C6 quad and we have a 3 year old and a 1 year sometimes gets hectic, but that is life.. I love having both children so close in age...we are also wanting to have at least 2 more...good luck and god bless


  4. #4
    Hi Emi,
    I'm a c6/7 and I have two boys ages 10 and 5. The Dr "suggested" after the first one that I should consider not having anymore, but we did and everything went fine. We just scheduled a c-section early enough to avoid AD from labor pains.
    We waited for the specific purpose of having the older one more independent and out of diapers. Sometimes we wish they were closer in age, but they get along and fight just like any other siblings! In fact, as I write this they are happily playing the playstation together. And I found the saying among AB mothers to be true for me as well that the second one is a little easier.
    I cannot tell you what to do, but I have a sister and love her so dearly, while my husband is an only child. I feel sorry for him, but he says he doesn't mind it! May be a boy thing? Anyway I would say "go for it!"
    Good luck,

    Stress occurs when the mind overrides the body's natural instinct to kick the crap out of someone who desperatly deserves it!

  5. #5
    Just don't wait 8 years. I managed to space my stepson and son so that I basically have teenagers for 20 years. Seemed like a good idea at the time....

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

  6. #6
    Emi, We waited till our first was 4 then got pregnant again. Did the same with our 3rd. It worked out well that way for us. Even though the 16 yr old still fights with the 5 yr old like they are the same age. Its all good.

  7. #7
    Originally posted by Betheny:

    Just don't wait 8 years. I managed to space my stepson and son so that I basically have teenagers for 20 years. Seemed like a good idea at the time....

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000
    Betheny, don't complain

    I have 14 years between the oldest and the youngest and I am going to have children in the house untill I am 60 years old. And then for sure,I have grandchildren, too.
    What have I done? The house is always going to be full of children

  8. #8
    Well my hubbie and I think about having a child together and then look at each other and go Nooooo! We both have a child with other partners and it would be great to have one of our own but they are 13 and 10 and that would mean another 20 years of having kids around.

    If you want another, I'd go ahead and do it. Why wait? Just my opinion, good luck whatever you decide.

  9. #9
    Well, we decided to wait until we start potty training Violet, except I forgot to go get my Depo shot on time so now I need a pregnancy test before I can't get my shot. !!!!!!!!!!

    "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
    ~ Anon

  10. #10
    My mother was a pediatric nurse and always said it was best to wait until the older child is potty trained before having another. Two in diapers at once can be a bit much.

    Your risk of dying in a pregnancy is not very high if you are getting good care (like you did with the first one)...certainly no higher than any other woman having a child. If you want more children, do it. You don't want to be 45 and wishing that you had.

    Consider having your tubes tied after your second delivery. Really easy if you go the C-section route, which may be advisable with a Mitrofanoff and augmentation.


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