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Thread: What a handful, and she's not even 1 yet!

  1. #1

    What a handful, and she's not even 1 yet!

    OMG, these next few years are going to be crazy! Violet's crawling now, and pulling up to standing and she gets into absolutely everything she isn't supposed to. She just wants to go go go. Jose is up here every 15 minutes rescuing her from something new. In the last hour shes escaped from the computer room, gotten stuck under her high chair, opened her bedroom door where she then ripped up a book and pulled all the tape from a cassette. I don't know how able bodied parents keep up, I certainly can't.

    If it's on, I must turn it off.

    If it's off, I must turn it on.

    If it's folded, I must unfold it.

    If it's high, it must be reached.

    If it's shelved, it must be unshelved.

    If it's pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

    If it has leaves, they must be picked.

    If it's plugged, it must be unplugged.

    If it's not trash, it must be thrown away.

    If it's in the trash, it must be removed, inspected
    and thrown on the floor.

    If it's closed, it must be opened.

    If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.

    If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

    If it's a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator,
    computer monitor or table.

    If it's full, it will be more interesting emptied.

    If it's empty, it will be more interesting full.

    If it's a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

    If it's a stroller, it must under no circumstances be
    ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me

    If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

    If mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.

    If mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must
    walk alone.

    If it's paper, it must be torn.

    If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

    If the volume is low, it must go high.

    If it's toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the

    If it's a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

    If it's YOUR toothbrush, it must be inserted into my

    If it's MY toothbrush, it must be inserted into YOUR

    If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full

    If it's a phone, I must talk into it.

    If it's a bug, it must be swallowed.

    If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on
    the floor.

    If it's not food, it must be tasted.

    If it's food, it must NOT be tasted.

    If it's dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or
    toilet water.

    If it has a tail, I must yank it.

    If Mommy wants me to come, I must run away.

    If Mommy wants me to go away, I must CLING ON FOR DEAR

    If it's stacked up, it must be knocked down.

    If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.

    If it's bath time, I must run around naked till I am

    If it is a rock, it must be picked up.

    If it is a doll, it must not wear clothes.

    If it is Mommy or Daddy, it must be hugged.

    I am a toddler!

    "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
    ~ Anon

  2. #2
    Originally posted by Emi:

    If it's toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

    If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.
    Emi she sounds like a very fun handful!! One of my favorite pictures of my niece as a toddler, who is now grown and a mom herself!, is of her sitting in the bathroom floor in a "cloud" of unrolled toilet paper and a WHOLE jar of Vaseline smeared in her hair and on her face! Thanks for reminding me of some very messy, but happy memories of my own!


  3. #3

    It is your turn now

    My smallest used to run away from me in the streets and in the shops, knowing I was unable to follow. But one time he lost me and he did not find me for a while and then he learn.

    It is getting better when she is a little older. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Emi, thank you for sharing. I havve always regarded Violet as our first carecure baby :-). Wise.

  5. #5
    Senior Member PB72181's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    I'm loving the Ode to a Toddler...that's hilarious. That will make a great e-mail forward someday.

    I'm not deaf...I'm just ignoring you!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Summerhill, Pa
    Thanks for the poem it made me laugh!!
    I copied it and read it to my husband.I babysit my grandaughter, (our 1st) full time and she will be one years old on May 5th.
    I will give a copy of this poem to her parents.

  7. #7
    That ode is soooo cool.
    Violet isn't missing a thing is she?
    Thanks for sharing her with us. It's like
    we are watching her grow.

    Anxious for the next installment..if you find the time.


  8. #8

    You have my utmost awe! I barely survived those toddler years able-bodied, and looking back I took a nap sometime during the years they were 8-6, and I feel like I have not stopped ever since!..You rock girl!! Keep it up and thanks so much for sharing Violet with us!


    If I can see it, then I can do it. If I believe it, there's nothing to it.

  9. #9

    Don't you love how they have that perpetual motion thing? Then they fall down, recharge and do it again? I second the others, thanks for sharing. Write it all down if you can, it becomes a blur of sleep-deprivation as the years go by.

    C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000

  10. #10
    Senior Member krajaxa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    New Castle, PA
    Thanks Emi,

    now I know what I have to look for in a year...... and times 2!!!!!

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