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Thread: cargiver's baby talk

  1. #1

    cargiver's baby talk

    We have a new care giver, she is 38 and kind of nice. I have a problem with her. She has 2 teenage boys and used to volunteer in kindergarden. Whenever she helps me she speaks to me like to a kid, baby talk but also inappropriate ridiculing if she thinks I demand too much. I am extremely uncomfortable around her. How would you adress that?

  2. #2
    You should be having daily supervision "meetings" with her at this point. We drop these to weekly after we have someone established, but at first, it needs to be daily.

    This is to give feedback on performance, instruction, and if needed, correction in performance. You need to catch this early, bring it to her attention with the specific instruction that such behavior is unacceptable and rude in a caregiver, and that if it continues, it can be reason for termination of employment. Don't delay. The longer you let this go unchallenged, the more message you are giving her that such behavior and approach to the job is acceptable to you.

    (KLD)

  3. #3
    She has not realized the difference between mental maturity and physical ability. Used to young children, she unconsciously assumes that anyone who requires physical assistance also lacks the mental ability. She needs to learn otherwise.
    Perhaps she should address you as "Sie" rather than "du"? You are the boss.

  4. #4
    Thanks for the fast help! Yes, she obviously sees a kid in me, because that's what she is used to, even if I am 12 years older then she is; something is really wrong here...

  5. #5
    I'm pretty sure she isn't trying to be rude, and in all likelyhood, may not even realize what she's dong. Just have a little chat with her and ask that she speak to you in an adult tone. You might just have to give her an example of how she speaks to you to let her know how silly she sounds.

    Don't wait on this to long, because the more you let it go, the more she feels you've accepted all that she has to offer, including speaking down to you like a child.

  6. #6
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    Gbounce is probably right. I used to work with preschoolers, and my then teenagers would complain that I would sometimes talk to them, as if they were 3! She really may not even hear herself, just the fact that she is doing things for you throws a switch in her head or something.

    So say something soon, before this becomes a permanent habit. I suspect she is going to have to make a conscious effort to treat you like the adult you are, and the longer you let it go the harder it will be.

    But don;t let this go, b/c you also want to make sure that she realizes, even subconsciously, that YOU are in charge in this case, not her!
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  7. #7
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    Davids last caregiver would come in every morning and say "good morning love" "do you want some coffee love?". Everything was addressed love, and she was about 20 years younger that us. Used to get on Davids nerves so bad. He/we did say something but it was just her nature. Couldn't get it to stop for nothing. We still joke about it. Every now and then I will say to him, can I get you anything love and he will come back with something like, what do you want? LOL Good luck, hopefully you can break her from this bad habit.

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