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Thread: final decisions

  1. #1

    final decisions

    Please don't think I am morbid, but for some reason tonight when I was looking up info on Dr. G I started thinking about what I would want to be done when my time comes. I'm not comfortable with cremation because some people aren't comfortable with carrying ashes around and I don't want to end up in the trash, but I am not comfortable with embalming either. I would prefer a natural burial I guess, but how would you know if they actually do what they are supposed to? My family has always had open caskets at the gravesite so we know for sure our loved one is actually in that casket, but you can only do that if you are embalmed. I do not know why this is on my mind. I wish I could stop worrying that I am going to lose a loved one and just enjoy each day. Do you all have this figured out?

  2. #2
    Cremated and scattered for me. We just began this tradition 5 yrs ago, when my brother died. It gives time to notify ppl that might want to come to a memorial service-plus it's cheap. We spent $2500 each for my bro and my mom, for absolutely lovely services. They are both scattered in a pond on a hill that is wilderness and oil fields. It's a nice place to visit.

    I would like to get them "stones". Mom requested a slab of Osage orange hedge tree w/ her name, dates etc. Hedgewood is like iron, a really hard wood. It's a good idea.

    Maybe we're cheap hillbillies but ppl compliment our memorial services.

    I'd kind of like to be scattered on a coral reef.

  3. #3
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Living: Give me two weeks to recover and then pull the plug.

    Dead: Organ donation (signed documents) and let my body be studied for effects of chronic paralysis/Transverse Myelitis. Burn the rest and bury in the family plot at Botany Cemetery (gravel roads meet in the middle of nowhere - it's nice and green and country-like there .. like my childhood).

    My sister is well aware of my requests.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

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  4. #4
    Betheny, Lynnifer thank you for the replies. Cremation seems to be very popular. When my best friend, really only close friend since the age of 8 or 9, passed away a year and a half ago she was cremated, as was her mother several years earlier, and a friend of hers a few years back. I hope I am able to come to some resolution, more than that I wish I could just stop thinking about it. My ex-teacher, from college a couple of years ago, whom I keep in touch with occasionally just lost her mom; so I guess that is part of the reason for the worry. Betheny I am sorry to hear you lost your brother and mother. I hope you are doing okay.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
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    I want to be put on a boat full of explosives and then have my children shoot flaming arrows at it until it explodes. I got the idea from one of my favorite dark comedy's entitled, "Eulogy". If you haven't watched it I highly recommend it if you have a sick sense of humor.
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  6. #6
    You're not morbid for questioning these things and reflecting on them. Death is a part of life. After you're dead, whatever happens to your body, you will be completely unaware of it. If you're worried about your ashes being trashed, have someone spread them where you'd like. No reason you need to be in an urn. Embalmment is very painless; I've had it done several times to preserve my youthful good looks. (Okay, that was a joke to cheer you up, but it has a hint of truth in it.)


  7. #7
    It's not morbid to think about stuff like this - Like Le Type said it's part of life. I mention stuff to my daughter and she'll comment on it - but i say someone needs to know my request (she's my only child) - I would like to be cremated and scattered in Sedona Az. My nieces - each had some ashes of my sister in a small remembrance type thing and the rest were scattered. so if my daughter wanted to do something like that or sprinkle alittle of me in Wisconsin if she would feel like she needs to visit and the rest in Sedona I'd be ok with that.

    As I sit here to reply I'm thinking I may get some kind of plastic shoe box size container and start putting info in there that I would like at my service (ie: poems - songs - Pictures) that way it's somewhat all in one spot. Reason being is as we were going through my mother's things - we found something that she wanted to be buried with her but none of us knew this and it was after the funeral. I did end up burying it into the ground at her gravesite but have always felt bad cause it wasn't with her.

    I saw on some show one time - Don't remember the name - How someone got a tattoo that had somene's ashes mixed into the ink - I'm not sure about that but it is somewhat cool.

    Sorry so long
    PrpleHarly08

    Was afraid I was losing my mind - So I asked the people behind my couch and they assured me I was still sane

  8. #8
    Not a morbid thought at all.

    I could have donated far more to charity in my life. So in death I would like to make up for this. I want my remains to be divided and donated to poor families in the form of free cooking meat, to be used in stews or hot-pots.

    I also have some money that I would donate towards having a statue of myself made out of stone, of me sitting in my chair helping poor people, with an inscription telling my story about the free meals thing above.


  9. #9
    I can't quite tell if some of you are making fun of me or trying to make me laugh. I took it as trying to cheer me up. I wish we could all get together and hang out once a week, you guys always seem to help me lighten up and look for the positives. I too only have one child, because of that I don't want to burden him with all the decision making when the time comes. I'll try to have a better day today. Nighttime when I can't sleep, which is ironic cause I'm a sleep tech, is the worst time for worrying.

  10. #10
    I don't think anyone is making fun - it's just humor, I think they're trying to give you a laugh.

    I hope you have a better day today

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