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Thread: Any joy left in life?

  1. #31
    Bill, sorry to hear things still have'nt gotten any better. Same here. It gets real old after awhile.

    For some reason mine has decided to really get nasty too, maybe it's the weather. I get tired of trying to figure out why. I just wish someone could fix it. I usually have to vent to Cheesecake to get me to calm down and keep going. I've got a new doctor, a physiatrist, she's working on it but so far I think I'm in more pain now than when I started! Got a call into her office right now for that reason and looking at the time, I won't hear from them any more today.

    I can't even remember what it feels like to feel nothing. I wish I'd known when I was ab how blessed I was. And that's not to say I never had a pain while ab. I had stomach ulcers from the time I was ten years old, so I've known what pain can do for a long time.

    I wish there were some magic words or something that would make things better. Coming here and being able to vent to good people that understand is sometimes the only thing that helps at all.. Just my opinion, but I really don't think most people understand this kind of pain unless they have it themselves. It's unreal...

    Here's hoping and praying your doctors find something to help. Trudy

  2. #32
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Baltimore, MD
    Nothing is enjoyable, except the few hours when I'm asleep. Pains are always the overriding factor when I'm conscious. I don't know how you folks manage to have lives, but you've got my admiration.

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  3. #33

    Someone else who can relate...Me*

    dejerine and others,
    I apologize if my post/reference to Job came off as flippant or trite. That was not my intention at all. I in fact do burn with Central Pain and sincerely find comfort/joy in the passage I shared.

    Dejerine you ask others not to judge your pain by your appearance "But you look so good," which I completely understand and agree. Yet, you seem to judge Job's pain?

    I do not feel better reading about Job's pain. My comfort/joy comes from reading about How Job dealt with his unrelenting pain and Job's relationship with Holy God. Which is Bill's question...Any joy? A lot of information is shared on this forum, by asking and answering questions, and I am thankful for all those who participate.

    I Do Agree with you regarding your statement: "I don't know why we value life, but it is valuable and if we look in the dark corners, we will see some attribute to our character which we would not have otherwise had. This is a terrible price to pay for some seemingly insignificant trait. It gives us experience, but what human ever recognized the value of having had bad experiences. It is probably there, but beyond our comprehension."

    The Problem of Pain A Grief Observed
    Last edited by Still Learning; 03-18-2010 at 09:13 PM.
    The IceDragon Avatar best represents my constant Freezing yet Burning Pain...not to mention all the other sensations that come with neuro pain

  4. #34
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye
    Sometimes you have to just rip it from the fabric of the world, steal it, take it by force; sometimes a single flower or a singing songbird can gently reveal that it's right there next to you, always within reach. Joy I speak of.
    Please donate a dollar a day at
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.


  5. #35
    rdf--well said, "rip it from the fabric of the world, steal it, take it by force...."

    Still Learning

    I guess I didn't word it right. I do not judge Job's pain. I judge the instantaneous knee jerk reaction from people who admonish me for not having read it, when I have. The fact is, I studied Hebrew in college, and I have tried to take the book apart to try to understand better.

    After twenty plus years in agony, I just find it extraordinary that someone at church would have it in them to admonish me, without ever ASKING how I take Job. What bothered me was the idea that things were somehow attributed to a lack of faith. Job's Comforters judged Job. That is how I read it. ie. my opinion giver was a Job's Comforter. The clearest message of Job is DO NOT ATTRIBUTE PAIN IN ANOTHER TO MORAL FAILING, including an assumed failure to read the book of Job. Job is not a weapon to hurl against someone who says, "I am in pain".

    My take on it was that the opinion giver probably couldn't stand what I have for 24 hours, Job or no Job. i want people to listen, not to preach to me.

    I take Job, that I do not understand how he went through it, nor what Job really means. I sometimes think pain is so personal, that you simply cannot compare it. I am not sure if it loses meaning at some point when the pain has driven you insane. I tend to think Alan and HipCrip understand what I say here, but I think there is a point where scripture fails to provide an answer.

    When Jesus was in Gethsemane, he debated with God* if there was not some other way than all the PAIN. I am sure Jesus knew the book of Job, so if he was still faced with powerful paradoxes, it is no wonder that I am.

    * See John Chrysostom's homily on why Jesus did not argue over death, but did over pain. (4th century)
    Last edited by dejerine; 03-19-2010 at 03:02 AM.

  6. #36
    Must be 5th or 10th time I seen this thread going on. I'm begining to wonder myself.
    oh well

  7. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by kenf View Post
    Must be 5th or 10th time I seen this thread going on. I'm begining to wonder myself.
    Hang on, Ken...I care what happens to you, and so do others here. Tried to PM you but evidently you have stopped accepting PM's...

    Take care, friend!


  8. #38
    Bollefen, how are you feeling today? It is near 70 in MA today...sunny and springlike...
    Best photos I have taken have been from my wheelchair. Actually, took some cool B-roll on a roll with video attached to my chair... I am very sad today too...but trying to take in the support I am getting here, and feel what I feel...Thinking of you my friend..

  9. #39
    HI all, been an interesting thread. I'm still in the crapper. Worst I've felt since Nam. the CP remains high, spaz and spasms are severe and the nociceptive pain is explosive and horrible, literally like being shot.

    I've thought about this thread and thanks for all the help/support and various comments.

    Fact is I still see life but with pain so high i fall way short of joy but see the beauty and my comment was joy.

    I'd hoped the better weather would help some but it hasn't. Took myself out to take a few pics will post them soon.

    I need more to feel like life is ok.

    Alan I completely understand when you ask how so many "have a life" i think this often myself.

    anyway ...

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  10. #40

    I happened onto a site and found this great article written by none other than Wise Young. That site has some information that would tend to make one more hopeful. I think you would enjoy Dr. Young's article.

    The article is about SCI in general. I would find it interesting to see similar material written about those with SCI plus Central Pain. It is the pain after all, which is the real foe, more than any paralysis. Pain is its own thing.

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