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Thread: Am I doing the right thing?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Am I doing the right thing?

    Mark has been very sick. He spiked a fever last week, and by the time we got him to the hospital he was having seizures. His temp was 104 for 2 days. He has an angry looking shunt site, but his testicles are very swollen also. He hasn't been with it for many days, and we called our sister home from France. I was so hoping when he heard her voice his eyes would pop open and he would give her the family look. No such luck. His fever still goes up at night some, but not as high as it was.

    Saturday the doctor asked what we wanted to do. What do I want to do? Options were stop dialysis, stop abx, stop feeding, turn off the vent any or all of the above. For anyone else, it wouldnt be a difficult decision, and we have all talked about it, and some have advanced directives on file, but Mark is so different from most people. In my heart of hearts, I really think he is still in there. He has fought tooth and nail to stay alive, and I dont know how, but he finds joy in whatever he can still do. If this were Michael, I would know in a heartbeat what to do.

    He is very calm, and doesnt seem to be in pain, and I just keep looking at him waiting to open that eye and give me a Sarah Palin. He is going to be so ticked off if he sleeps through Lucy coming home.

    Does anyone know of anyone who came out of something like this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    Last edited by lynnifer; 03-14-2010 at 05:57 PM.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #3
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hampshire, England.
    I'm so very sorry Andes, I can only really echo Lynnifer's post.

    However, from the way Mark talked about you on here he clearly had faith in your character and judgment, so much so that I'm sure whatever you decide to do it will be the right thing.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    I too am so sorry. I wish I had the answers for you. I will keep you and Mark in my prayers.

  5. #5

  6. #6
    ann i hope mark pulls thur if anybody can it is mark but im sorry you r goin threw this.

  7. #7
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Oh Ann ..... I just knew something was up ... I was thinking about you and Mark this morning wondering why we hadn't seen any posts from your house lately !!
    .... it's all I've got .... stay strong ....

    Last edited by Obieone; 03-10-2010 at 12:11 AM. Reason: Forgot the "k" !
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi

    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  8. #8
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    I was wondering....... since no posts from him. in your heart of hearts...... go with that. you are close. seems you would know if he were gone.
    thinking of you and all of your beautiful family. a prayer for strength, and healing. Mark is a true blessing to care cure community.

  9. #9
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye
    Annie that's rough. I know from talking with Mark that he loves you and trusts in you to do what you think is right. All I can say is Mark seems full of life, and seems to very much enjoy it. I'll hope for the best for both of you, and your wonderful family. You all have really improved the atmosphere around here, at a time when many needed it.
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  10. #10
    Go over the things you and Mark talked about over the years, surely there were indications and if you still aren't sure, go with what your gut says. God is with you always.
    From the time you were born till you ride in a hearse, there is nothing so bad that it couldn't be worse!

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