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Thread: Information regarding your stimulus checks

  1. #1
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    Cleburne, Texas, USA

    Wink Information regarding your stimulus checks

    (read this somewhere---how true)

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

    Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
    Q. Where will the government get this money?
    A. From taxpayers.
    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    A. Only a smidgen.
    Q. What is the purpose of this paymentA. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV , thus stimulating the economy.
    Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.
    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending Your stimulus check wisely:
    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ..
    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
    * If you buy a car, chances are it will go to Japan
    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..
    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
    Management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
    Instead, keep the money in America by:
    1 spending it at yard sales (OR AN AUCTION!), or
    2 going to ball games, or
    3 spending it on escort, or
    4 beer or
    5 tattoos…
    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US ….)
    I’m going to go to a ball game with a tattooed escort that I met at a yard sale and we’re going to drink beer all day! Happy New Year!!

  2. #2
    lol that's a good one Mona!

  3. #3
    I like that one Miss Mona.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Cspine's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Portland, Oregon
    Ignorantly flawed, but funny.
    Death and taxes

  5. #5
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    mona that is a funny post. knuckle bump!

  6. #6
    Hi Mona Smiley
    And here I was told this stimulus was for my suppositories and possible enema packs


  7. #7
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    San Francisco, CA
    C7/C8, T1 incomplete;

    For stalkers convenience:
    My drawings:

  8. #8
    Roflmao !

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  9. #9
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    Yeah I thought they hit in on the nail.

    Thanks Mr. Coffee.

    I'm pretty bummed those not working won't get any money this year.
    I also don't understand how the economy will be stimulated the way Obama is doing it this year.

    2010 Stimulus check

    October 31, 2009

    The 2010 stimulus check is set to help over 90% of Americans, but how will this affect you? The changes operated after the implementation of the stimulus have shown themselves clearly in 2009 by way of the stimulus check a high percentage of citizens have received, but its continuation in 2010 will be a bit different. The way in which the stimulus will work consists in a decrease in federal taxes, which will manifest itself through increases in average Americans’ paychecks.

    But how do you know you qualify for this generalized federal tax deduction that is part of the government’s stimulus package and how should you go about receiving what the government is offering you, like a 2010 stimulus check ? First of all, in order to qualify, you must be paying social security; this means you have to be employed (or self-employed), i.e. you must be working and paying taxes. You must also make sure that your income does not exceeded the amount of $95,000 per year, or, if you are married and wish to submit a joint stimulus consideration request, then the joint income of the two applicants mustn’t exceed $190,000 per year. You must also keep in mind that certain restrictions to the federal tax cut the stimulus will grant you apply if your annual intake exceeds $75,000 or if you and your spouse’s joint annual income exceeds $150,000.
    The federal tax deduction comprised in the stimulus will put in (or rather, not take out of) your pocket the sum of $400 (or for a joint application a total of $800). This is money the government normally would have taken out of your salary that you are now allowed to keep. It’s the same amount you will receive in 2009, only divided along 12 months instead of 9. This, in case you meet all the requirements and benefit from the full tax deduction. The amount of the deduction will be smaller depending on where you stand on the annual income chart. You will not be receiving a check in the mail or a check from your employer to mark the stimulus tax cut, but rather, you will be receiving an extra few dollars every month on top of what you’ve been earning so far. Those with maximal benefits from the stimulus will cash an extra $33 every month for the duration of the 2010 stimulus check thanks to the stimulus plan. That means that if you are filing for the federal tax deduction with someone else, together you will receive $66 every month.

  10. #10
    The Basics of this Plan
    Last edited by GL; 04-22-2011 at 11:54 PM.

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