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Thread: Caregiver down :(

  1. #21
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    Hey if it works it works.

  2. #22
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Sorry I missed this mswife .... so glad you're on the mend!

    Interesting how that works (having to do things for themselves when the tables are turned) .... I always worry myself sick and tend to go overboard organizing the household when I go into the city for an overnight (a rare event) and yet somehow Bill usually manages just fine even when the unexpected happens ....little things that crop up but need to be handled by himself ... none the less ... a good experience for both of us !

    Obie
    I think I'll move this over to Caregiving in case the conversation continues with that thought ....
    Last edited by Obieone; 02-11-2010 at 01:15 PM.
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  3. #23
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    Obie - I know what you mean, I work full time and we have a hired caregiver that comes in for 4 hours in the morning to get David up, breakfast, clean, lunch and then shes gone. There have been times that I knew she couldn't be here and I would get David up in the morning before I left for work. I would run around the night before making sure everything was in his reach, lots of snacks on the kitchen table, program the tv to automatically turn stations, etc. Then in the morning I am double and triple checking things to make sure I didn't forget things. He eventually tells me to leave but I worry all day long. Fortunately I drive a rural mail route so I can call him frequently and see how things are going. It's crazy I know, I've been told many times I am over protective with both him and my kids who are now 16 and 19 but I can't seem to help myself. I feel like it's my job to protect them.

    Anyway, so today I leave for work at 7 a.m. David is sound asleep. Our daughter leaves at 7:30, David still asleep. Caregiver gets here at 8 a.m. and David is awake, up in the chair, coffee made (I prepare it the night before, he only has to hit the on button to brew), sitting at the kitchen table eating his cinnamon rolls (again I prepare night before and he nukes them) she was shocked. Then he calls me 6 times today. "I'm tired, I am laying down for a little bit" "Okay I'm back up" "I just emptied my bag, only 200 ml" "I'm laying down again" "Back up again" repeat, repeat, repeat, etc.

    I'm thinking this might have been a blessing in disguise. If he keeps it up I can get rid of the caregiver and just hire a housekeeper for a few hours a week. haha I must say I have really gotten used to the help.

    Oh yea, the hand is feeling much better (but don't tell David) LOL

  4. #24
    MSWIFE 1. Your situation sounds simililar to mine, except for the children. My husband is complete @ T-4. Before the injury, he took care of everything outside and fix it jobs. When he got injured, I told him I didn't realize how much he really did around the house. I work full time and have no extra help. He is still helpful inside the house, unloads the dishwasher and washes clothes. Problem is, he can't reach the cabinets to put dishes away and can't get into the back bedroom to put my clothes away. So I come home to stacks of dishes and laundry. I'm not complaining though. Every little bit helps. I have 6 horses, 2 dogs and 2 cats. I have a 20 minute commute to work and back so I'm early leaving and late coming home, especially if I have to make a stop before coming home. Don't feel like I have any time at home except on weekends. I am facing surgery in a couple of weeks on my right hand. Have almost called it off a couple of times. I just can't afford to be down but then again, I have to take care of me too. What's a girl to do?

  5. #25
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    Georgia - how ironic you replied to this today, I just got back of from the crawl space once again! This time the sump pump shut off valve thing, broke and water was shooting everywhere. Did I mention, this was after I drove 113 miles on my mail route and then stopped by our business to check things out, do paperwork, etc. and then come home, go to the shed (game room w/ pool table, air hockey, etc) to shut off the stove, shut the door, feed the dogs and come into check my email and then I hear the water gushing. Anyway got it fixed, I admit I was really apprehensive about climbing thru there again. So now I threw a box of Banquet chicken in the oven and finally got myself a drink. (only Mt. Dew lol) I wish I had the answer for you but I really don't. It's amazing how much I have learned and am able to complete in a days time. People ask all the time "how do you do it" I really don't know. Somewhere you find the strength to keep going. I do have help that comes in 4 hours a day, however we did just cut it down to 3 hrs a day this week. I have tried to get David to dust, unload dishwasher, laundry, but he won't hear of it. I even had his therapist tell him it was good therapy and he sits there and agrees with her, but then gets home and forgets all about it. I must give him credit though, he is starting to do little things to help out, like putting the dogs on a leash and taking them out, throwing his snack wrappers away, and he is still getting himself in and out of bed. Don't put your surgery off, as they keep telling me, you need to take care of yourself too! And then my advice is to play it up good!!!

  6. #26
    MSWIFE1: So sorry to hear of your new troubles. You are more handy that I am, I would have had to call someone. Does your husband drive? Kenny does. I am so proud he is willing to go out. He goes to most of his doctor visits alone. Most of his doctors are about 45 miles from here. He doesn't seem to mind. There are some though that I do want to go to. I too am told a lot that they don't know how I do all that I have to. It just becomes your life. You fall into a routine I guess and organize our priorities. What do you do for yourself? Your alone time? I am very involved with my horses. I barrel race. I have a couple of local clubs and one State sanctioned Federation that I ride in. Kenny is very good to push me out the door. I don't go nearly as much as I used to but it truly is my outlet.

  7. #27
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    I was raised daddy's little boy so I have to admit I learned alot from him, but still yet learning more every day. Believe me there have been plenty of times I could have called someone but I have this thing about failing. I have to try first and usually succeed. Not always though. Davids eye sight has been effected by the MS so he can't drive. They haven't pulled his license but he doesn't feel like he could. I think they are getting alot better so hopefully this year he will be able to. I either have to take off work or have the caregiver stay longer and take him to appointments. He has just started wanting to go around town in his chair. We live in a very small town of about 200 people and everyone knows everyone. But he hates for people to look funny at him, alot of its his imagination though. My time??? Mostly search the internet for answers either to MS or research geneology. We have a beautiful 9 month old granddaughter we love to share time with too. (not really me time but she sure does help to forgot about all our troubles)

  8. #28
    MSWife-Hope you don't mind me piggy backing your thread. Hardly seems enough for me to start one.
    On Friday I tripped over the suction kit charging cord, tried to catch myself with the other foot. That foot finds the rug folded over during the trip causing me to fly forward on my knee and elbow on the wood floor. The most painful part at first was my big toe bent backwards. Dave was in bed and could not see exactly what happened, did not have his speaking valve on to even ask. My shoulder had been sore, but getting better. What bothers me is if i had hit my head and how long I would have laid there. Maybe I need a "I've fallen and can't get up" button.
    I really try to be careful with those cords.

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