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Thread: Marijuana & Me

  1. #1

    Marijuana & Me

    Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum.

    I am a paraplegic.

    I have been paralyzed since december for 10 years now.

    I have been smoking marijuana medicinally for a while now. Well, I guess I shouldn't lie to myself, even. I started using it Medicinally, but it soon evolved into something that I NEEDED to consume whenever I felt the effects were even SLIGHTLY wearing off. Life is super boring sober.

    I decided I can't live like this anymore. I've become a hermit. I've gained a lot of weight. I weighover 200 pounds and I'm in my early 20's. I have no friends. I have been in this city for 5 months and I didn't even meet or have a conversation with more than a dozen people. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I can't believe 5 months have gone by. I recall very little. I'm really depressed, anxious, tired, I feel like I am never fully awake. Unfortunately, Marijuana HELPS all that. But I want to stop using it because I have become dependant on it. I havent smoked in 10 hours and I am crying. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can't help but think it'd be a lot easier to just leave things as they are, but I can't allow that.

    I don't know what to do.Things seem like they are in an endless circle.
    Last edited by swordfish; 01-30-2010 at 10:38 AM.

  2. #2
    I should say, I want you all to know Marijuana is absolutely NOT addictive. It's just that I am trying to avoid other drugs, because I know if I go that route there's no going back. So, in doing that, I'm holding onto Marijuana to cure my physical problems and my mental ones... so I've become dependent on it, I don't want to let it go.

    It's funny, the whole reason I came out here (Toronto, Canada) is to "Start Over" and keep away from drugs and just ... start over without having people know "my story" and just be a person -- like other people.

  3. #3
    Its an addiction and thats going to be hard to overcome. Your going to need to start reaching out to old friends, ones who dont smoke. Find new hobbies, volunteer, start a new exercise routine and change your environments.
    This will help you get out of the rut! Once you get the ball rolling it will be easier, its taking the first step thats tough!
    Best of luck!

  4. #4
    Marijuana isn't addictive, but from the sounds of it you were using other drugs before you arrived to TO. If you're using weed as a replacement for a previous addiction, maybe you have some unresolved addiction issues that could be helped by counseling?

    Bite the bullet and get active once it warms up a bit. Start by rolling around your block every day, then rolling to the nearest park, get involved, take a course at a community centre or something. You WILL meet people.

  5. #5
    Pot is addictive. Not physically, but if you take a drug and even when you know you should stop taking it you continue to take it... guess what? You are addicted. You said reality is boring, it is not. It may suck balls, it can be great, it can be average but boring it is not. If you can't go 10 hours without having adverse mental effects please go to a doctor. There are worse things in the world than being baked all the time, but you miss out on a lot of life. You might get some friends, a better job (or a job, don't know your situation). You have made a good first step dude, you know you have a problem and are looking for help. Go find it, go to a doctor, go to meetings (I would recommend AA and not NA, NA in my experience will be intimidating. Its hard to think you have a problem when you are sitting next to a crack whore). Take it one day at a time and you can do it.

    Tom

  6. #6
    Sword- I sent you a PM, but will post the link here for drug rehab center in Toronto that I found and read they were the largest in Canada... http://www.camh.net/

  7. #7
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    I stopped about three months ago. I had been smoking every day at least 3x aday since may 2005. I had reached the same point. I see a huge difference in spasticity, it is so much worse. not a lot of pain control from weed, but yes it did offer something for pain. I did not dream. I liked that. My dreams are sometimes crazy, and sometimes involve sleep paralasis. It takes about two weeks or maybe less for you to stop being bored and edgy without. It does happen. you can wake again and not do the routine. not devote time and money to it. I struggled with how much time it took to stay smoked up. I love the stuff. I still want to smoke, but want to have it, and only smoke now and then like I used to when it was new. I dont know if I can ever get there. I love not spending my scarce cash on it. I hate the rock muscles and the violent spasms. I am not sure if it is because I am not smoking or if I am just getting worse. the spasms affect my driving. I will need baclofen now. I had a huge problem with apatite. that has returned some after about two months without. my voice is returning. I sing. happy about that. I am not bored now. I love lack of that feeling. love it.

  8. #8
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    you can get there. I cried too. also did not hang with non smokers. it takes a little while for that feeling of need to go away, but it does go away. so far I still want to smoke, but it is not constant need anymore. I have not made the commitment to stop forever. It was forced by a move into unknown territory. I do like the lack of need. I promise the bored feeling is just an affect of long term use. It will go away. Hang in there. you have made a wise choice.

  9. #9
    Thanks, Jody! Your reply was very helpful. I think deep down, this is what is tormenting my mind. Should I continue to smoke weed? The problem with continuing to smoke is that I become a misanthrope. I mean, I get happy, I get pain/spasm relief, but I just prefer to be on my own. Whereas, if I don't smoke it I'll go through what Jody is going through. I'll get worse pain/spasms and it will affect my life. I've tried the major pharmaceuticals; bacloffen, triazasomething, andanotherone. They give me very negative side effects (like nausea, dizzyness) which end up making me just want to lay down and not move. Not to mention the Marijuana helps with my TEMPERATURE CONTROL because otherwise I'm always freezing or burning up.........

    haha... I know this is hilarious, everyones got their own problems. I love how there's a forum where I can type my inner-turmoil and get feedback from people who know where I am coming from. Good stuff.

  10. #10
    Sorry, a bit confused here...Do you want to get help for your cannabis addiction/dependency?

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