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Thread: My husband has a T4 complete injury. Questions for wives???

  1. #1

    My husband has a T4 complete injury. Questions for wives???

    So my husband was injured just over 2 years ago.
    Have you seen Avatar yet??? Well when the blue woman crouches over Jake when he is down on the ground and hisses at the enemy and takes a stance to protect him like a momma bear protecting her cub, that is me
    I am going nuts. People are so inconsiderate! Just this morning I was going into a bagel shop. First I parked in the 30 min parking, then moved to the back of the lot because I thought I may be there longer.
    As I was walking in this young girl parked her car in the only handicapped spot leaving her car running. I fallowed her in and confonted her while she paid for her bagel. Asked her if she was the one parked there andshe said yes. I told her how inconsiderate she is and that my husband is in a wheelchair and he would need that spot. She got all defensive and said she wasnt there for that long and leaving. I told her the spot was not for her and it is not ok for her to park there EVER!
    These things keep happening to me. At the movies concerts, the mall, foot ball games, everywhere! How are people so thoughtless and selfish??
    Is there something wrong with me that I get so fired up? Why cant I just let it go???

  2. #2
    Senior Member CurvySAT05's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Southern California
    If it makes you feel better Newbee I get the same way about people parking in HC spaces. The pharmacy that I go to needs their parking lot restriped (BADLY) and someone always ends up parking where the crosshatch is between HC spaces. I have started taking pictures of cars parked in the crosshatch so that I can complain to the city (they will cite the property owner) and also explaining to the person parked there that it is for handicap use. In one day (about 5 minutes actually) I was able to notify a man that he forgot to put his placard up (he legitimately had one) and educate a woman that parked right next to me in the crosshatch. She was nice enough to move her huge SUV so that I could open my door and get the wheelchair out through the driver side like I always do.
    I try to take the stance of educating people about the use of HC spaces rather than be offensive about it. If someone doesn't have a placard up I will say "I think you forgot to put your placard up" giving them the opportunity to either put it up or ignore me (in which case if you call the cops they can ticket a car for not having a valid placard or plate). If someone parks in the crosshatch I nicely explain that the space between two handicap spaces, typically marked with blue stripes (the one in the pharmacy parking lot is yellow) is so that people with wheelchairs can get them in and out of the car, or raise and lower a van lift if they have one.
    Luckily no one has been really confrontational with me.
    SCI as a result of spinal surgery
    TiLite Aero Z!!!

  3. #3
    You sound a wonderful wife...your man is very lucky. So am I, my wife is very similar, although.....we rarely say anything to these people, we just fume inside ourselves.

    Some places are worse than others. Wal-Mart is the worst......and our daughters school where everyone parks in the HC spaces. It's like the rules don't really apply there. Great way to teach the kids how to act in the real world.

    The local cops could make a fortune around here giving out tickets......unfortunately they are too busy on a deserted 4 lane giving out tickets from behind a bush.

  4. #4
    I have MS, diagnosed in 1994. I started experiencing significant disability several years later. My primary reaction for maybe the next four to six years (all the while assuring everybody that I was fine, just fine) was anger.

    Sometimes I was able to channel that anger in good directions (advocacy, activism), and sometimes I seriously abused people who didn't deserve it.

    You already recognize that you're letting your anger spill over at people around you. You can't just turn it off, so you're doing well by being aware of it. It will get better over time.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    I am that wife....the parking is only one of the things that bother me. What about going into a restaraunt and people just push right past you and act like they don't see you or hit the back wheels on the wheelchair when they walk by and act like he is the one in the way. Grocery store is a mad house, if I were the one in the chair I would run them over, not David though, he stops and says go ahead, I'm sorry. He has nothing to be sorry about they do for the insensitive behavior. I've been doing this for 4 years now and its not getting much better for me, if anything worse.

  6. #6
    HA HA HA~ Im so happy to hear this! I cant stand people like that and I get ENRAGED! Im forever yelling and giving people a piece of my mind. Except im usually alone in my fury. He seems to be used to it, or naturally more passive!
    People are ignorant. And Im not trying to sound insensitive here (yet I will) being overweight a few pounds and having to many kids IS NOT A HANDICAP. WALK! UGH!

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    Loves2 - I always thought their disability was something to do with memory loss, like they might forget were they parked or something if they didnt park close to the door.

  8. #8
    Im happy to read the discussion about anger, my teenage son is a new T4 complete, he is currently in rehab at KKI. I have so much anger, I dont want to be in the company of most friends, everything, every topic, every situation seems so trivial to me...I have absolutely no tolerance. I am very aware of this so hopefully I have not offended anyone and I can only hope in time the anger will fade. If I am feeling this way I can just imagine how much anger my son has! Ive tried to get him to talk about that but he hasnt said much yet, so far he has been very positive and brave.

  9. #9
    Senior Member fishin'guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Seattle area Wash state
    Well newbee, join the crowd> Christmas time and the ONE HC spot I got put into the strip mall down the street, was just the spot for the MERCEDES to pull into the crosswalk right next to the HC spot. So I backed into the spot about 12" from the car and waited. A man(not gentleman) came out, and I informed him that I was gonna get out, but this piece of crap car was in the way, oh and by the way, this is NOT a parking place. He says well, Happy Christmas to you to,
    I stated that whether it was Christmas, f--cking Mothers Day, or Thanksgiving, it didn't matter, this was not a parking spot!!
    He put his dry cleaning in the car, and then had to try to get into his car(The 12" of space I left him) He didn't DARE to ask me to move, I just sat and grinned as he tried to get in.
    Ya know, how come most of the time these people are either rude kids, or people in expensive cars??? Go figure, they are more important.

  10. #10
    Sharon and Newbee, welcome. I have also confronted people who park in HP parking spaces, with the car running. MsWife, your comment really had me laughing..Fishinguy, I think they do think they're more important. I usually get the story they are only there for a minute..

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