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Thread: anniversary thoughts

  1. #11
    I agree to a point that for us, the actual day our various incidents occurs doesn't matter. But I do think that those folks whose anniversaries fall on/near certain holidays bear an extra burden.

    It's more difficult to be injured at Christmas or on your birthday because there's an expectation that those days are supposed to be untouchable --everyone is supposed to be happy and nothing bad is supposed to happen. Anniversaries that fall near/on those days break the spell of holiday perfection for others, who -- as OJ experiences every year -- project their own disillusionment back to us. And then there's feeling responsible for messing up the holiday for our families and friends, even though what happened could have happened at any time. I know I feel guilty that my Mom was never really able to enjoy her birthday because she had to spend three of them in the hospital with me right after or right before surgery for my SC astrocytoma, and her special day was always overshadowed by those memories. [Her birthday was on October 20, and my surgeries were on October 19 ('77), October 16 ('78), and October 21 ('87).]

    Great post, OJ, and wonderful reply, Eileen.

    (And kudos to cheesecake for capturing all of OJ's original post in a quote just in case OJ has second thoughts about what she wrote later on.)
    It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.

    ~Julius Caesar


  2. #12
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehipcrip View Post
    But I do think that those folks whose anniversaries fall on/near certain holidays bear an extra burden.

    It's more difficult to be injured at Christmas or on your birthday because there's an expectation that those days are supposed to be untouchable
    Agree with hipcrip.

    I wish more of us believed in treatments (cure, whatever) for spinal cord injury. Even if it isn't for us; I'd never want a child to spend their life in a wheelchair because of paralysis. That, to me, is worth fighting for.

    I want to say wait until you approach the 20th, have it and then surpass it ... but I truly hope that doesn't happen to those not even close!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #13
    [QUOTE=orangejello;[/QUOTE]

    oranjello .... i like you bollocks
    Last edited by metronycguy; 12-26-2009 at 04:06 AM. Reason: the cat was in the hat
    cauda equina

  4. #14
    OJ, I dont have much more to add to your really good post and the great comments by others.. In my case, four years after my injury, I still felt completely alienated from my new life, as if I had been dropped in a sort of parallel universe, where people and things were the same, but on closer inspection everything was different and horrible. It took some more years (and unfortunately, some more pain) to reclaim life, at least the life I have now, which incidentally, is pretty good.

    Do not worry too much now in making a "balance" of your accomplishments versus your loses, I believe it may be too soon. It sounds trite so say, but living one day at a time may do the trick for the time being. Do not feel guilty either thinking that you may have it better than other people in the same situation, or that there are others worst off. And for those people that comment on the Christmas date, can you say you are really a Budhist??

  5. #15
    Senior Member Zeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I also feel that if I had invested that much time in waiting and hoping I might very well not have moved forward with my life, which would have been a huge mistake. I am very likely to get flamed for saying this by someone, but I do believe spinal cord injury made me slow down (excuse the understatement there!) and spend more time being reflective. A summer sunset, a gaggle of geese, a hot cup of java, or a night at the theatre mean more to me than it might have otherwise. Is it a totally acceptable substitute for walking and running? No, not even close, but when the rest of my body stopped working I knew the one thing I had going for me was my brain, and found out that is a major blessing in being able to re-frame things, to let my imagination soar, to live a life of the mind, something I might not have done if I was able to hike and play tennis.
    Ditto!

    Though, depending on age etc., I don't know that I've lost all hope for 'curative therapies'. I've been C5 complete for 27.5 years and I only just turned 35. Even a bit of extra function (say triceps?!?) would be life-changing. But I certainly don't put life on hold... well, maybe some travel plans.

    Chris.
    Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Larry in 'Closer', a play by Partick Marber

  6. #16
    Thinking of you OJ.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Well you've all said it all.


    I admire you OJ and look forward to the day I read a book you've written.
    Full of those breath taking pictures you post.
    You have a way with words that grabs my attention & makes me want more.
    I'm sorry you were hurt period. Regardless of the day.
    But I understand what you're saying. {hugs} Mona

  8. #18
    OJ,
    Your post really hits home for me. My injury was four years ago on Dec 28th. It is indeed difficult not to think back on those days just a few years ago and how different life was and was about to become.
    I also relate to the dark feelings. I did give up on life at one point. Thankfully, it has gotten better. I can't say "good" yet, but better.
    I'm also thankful that I finally found these forums and have people like you and the others who posted to talk to who really understand.
    Thanks for posting, and may the new year bring you happiness.
    -Dusty

    ---C5-incomplete "walking quad", Dec.28,2005---

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by CrassPip View Post
    Thanks for posting, and may the new year bring you happiness.
    Sending good thoughts for a happy 2010 for you as well CrassPip.

  10. #20
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by orangejello View Post
    Sending good thoughts for a happy 2010 for you as well CrassPip.
    I'm doing the same for you Amanda, and for everyone. A happy and productive year for all of us. Let it be so.
    Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

    Thanks!

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