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Thread: My ding-dong kid

  1. #41
    People feel bad to talk about it, but I think nearly all the parents have had a child who has done things like that.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  2. #42
    Everyone does things like that but when it keeps happening over and over there is a serious problem. Obviously they aren't learning to control themselves, not to mention they have no respect. I read here over and over about it but I never hear anywhere what the consequences are. It is as if there are none. But I am not there to see all so how would I know. Does he destroy his dads house too or just yours? I really hope I never go through that. I hope the school helps him somehow.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  3. #43
    I don't know. He would never tell me or somebody else.

    He is doing it on school too, more times than at home, knocking his head in the wall, in the table again and again, destroying things. He has only destoyed those doors and one hole at home, at school he has done things like that a couple of times a week for 7 years.

    The worse thing is that if you saw him and talked with him, you would never believe it. It took the man helping us half a year to see him angry and my friends have never seen him angry except when he is afraid for the other children outside when he is screaming and fighting with them.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  4. #44
    Senior Member justadildo's Avatar
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    my youngest daughter got pissed at her sibs one time and went to pound on a window and put her fist thru it...6 stitches later, she discovered not so smart and no longer punches inatimate objects...now punches sibs instead

    as to how does a crippled parent get point across to teens ?...my 21 yo son got pissed last year and punched wall in my apt....then got his ass dropped by a power chair and slid down a hallway after saying "what about it old man?"..he controls his temper around the "crippled old man now"...

    i'm with capn gimp, spare the rod spoil the child...no kid needs their ass "kicked"...but some kids need an ass whippin here and there

  5. #45
    What some kids "need" in LIFE & they "need" in discipline are two different things. NEVER HITTING AN ABUSED CHILD IS 100% THE WAY TO GO!!! THAY'VE ALREADY LEARNED VIOLENCE & LACK OF CONTROL, teaching patience & self control are hard, but well worth it to them in life. W.F.E. - it really sounds like a form of autisium with yours. What we did for mine is show him other ways to handle his anger (like a punching bag or several pillows belted together) & as far as the kids go, I'm afraid we just had to go with what he could handle & add one more kid when he got 'comfortable' whith the number he was with. Loud noises (unless made by Joe), bright lights & crowds tend to aggitate. Lessening those while teaching ways to control himself should really help. PM me if you'd like to vent or suggestions that've worked for Joe & I. And yes, I'm a single mom, too & in a w/c about 1/2 the time now.
    Last edited by Coleen; 12-20-2009 at 03:50 PM.

  6. #46
    Hundreds of consequences (whereby I was thoroughly punished!) a punching bag, counseling...ultimately the answer will be time and maturity.

    It sucks. I've always been glad it was walls and not humans, tho.

  7. #47
    He is going to start some lesson on self control and how to handle the anger. The school is going to send him there. I have a family terapist coming to my house twice a week for two hours to help me to handle it. It is difficult to handle, I have two other children and they are very different. But they are not living with me anymore, they are 27 and 24 years old so they have moved out.

    So I got a lot of help the last half year, before I didn't get anything. But the school had the big trouble. At home he prefer to stay in his room and play on his playstation or look tv or make things. He is singing, dancing and behave normal here most of the time. He loves making dinner and cookies, he is fixing machines, he is very handy. He love the cats, his sister and brother, he has a lot of emphati for others and he is kind.

    He is only strange but his diagnosis is a like somethings between Asberger and normal. He is loosing control if I scream to him so instead I am lowering my voice when he has done something wrong. I have tried to take away things, like the playstation, the computer, his pocket money, it doesn't help.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by woman from Europe View Post
    It is a boy/ man thing, the girls/women don't do it.
    This is just a spiteful statement, especially given that you are talking about this:
    Quote Originally Posted by woman from Europe View Post
    He has problems with the social codes. He doesnt have Asberger but some of the problems people with Asberger has. Like he doesn't understand how to react to different kind of things. And most of the time it is not understandable when he is at home or with me, but he has trouble when it is too many children around him, like in a normal class. But now they are six in the class and three teachers and he is doing much better than he has ever done before.

    Like I have to tell him the same things 100 times before he learn it, he never understand why things is happening like usual children. But his IQ is normal but his social IQ is not normal. When he started at school he wasn't talking nice to another child and I told him if he did talk nice to others, they would talk nice to him and he asked why I hadn't told him that before. How could I know I had to tell him things like that?
    I have compassion for scorned women, but I don't think they corner the market. Men are just as likely to be scorned, just less likely to admit or talk about it. In my humble and respectful opinion.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by justadildo View Post

    as to how does a crippled parent get point across to teens ?...my 21 yo son got pissed last year and punched wall in my apt....then got his ass dropped by a power chair and slid down a hallway after saying "what about it old man?"..he controls his temper around the "crippled old man now"...
    heh heh, yeah...my son learned around age of 4 how to quickly pull plug on my batteries, lil shit. actually, i used to corner him, tell him to get on my lap and he was put in my room (no toys). this doesn't work with a 17 yr old....

    addiesue, consequences. well, had friends take things away to their houses, cancelled cell phone, counselors, no money, etc. not much left. oh yeah, repairing the wall which requires a willing adult to show him how and then trying to match paint. one birthday he got nothing from me. and yeah, one night in juvie. fact is, the kid is basically good kid. just got the teenage crap going on and it's tough to deal with on my own. no drugs, no alcohol probs so i am basically grateful the walls can be fixed easily, the anger is not unusual but can also be handled. he's not punching ppl, as somebody said. in fact, he almost got suspended in middle school because a kid punched him and he (my son) walked away. the asst principal witnessed it, called me and when he said my son took a punch and walked away, i asked why would you suspend him? the answer: he was involved in a fight. well, the schools aren't helping much w/that attitude.
    Last edited by cass; 12-20-2009 at 11:52 PM.

  10. #50
    Thats horrible
    Not far from my youth as well! UGH


    I've never lived with a man that did NOT punch walls. except my Dad. He doesn't punch things w/ material value. He has been known to punch his sons though.

    Sorry bout the wrist...Karma and Consequences.[/QUOTE]

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