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Thread: My ding-dong kid

  1. #31
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    Bente, I didn't realize there was a defecit w/ Thomas. Does he have ADD or a learning disability?

  2. #32
    Well for everyone with difficult teens I am thinking of you. I know you will get through it. After watching my parents with my sister I know it can sometimes take forever. I was no angel either and I have a temper, but she was out of control. I took many years and even her finally having kids of her own to figure it out.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  3. #33
    Senior Member CapnGimp's Avatar
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    I feel sorry for you folks that let your kids run all over you. I was raised by my mom, never a man in the house. If we did something like that, we'd get the living hell beat out of us. We were AFRAID to do dumb shit.
    A good ass beating TEACHES respect for you and the things you own. I pity the foooo that avoids the rod to 'spare' the child.

    I love my mother and am THANKFUL she beat my ass when I needed it.

  4. #34
    Beating isn't allowed here in WA state, but he's paying everyday with the hurt & possible surgery. Besides, my 'chosen' (what we call adopted) boys were both sexually & physically abused by their biological mother & her live in, so violence isn't the best course to take with them. They need to unlearn it. I'm not a violent person, but I do follow thru with what I say - no threats, just promises & I don't make promises I can't (or won't) keep. W.O.E. - I've got one who's got ADD and the other is Autistic, but eventually they do learn - leave the holes until then, IMO

  5. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by CapnGimp View Post
    I feel sorry for you folks that let your kids run all over you. I was raised by my mom, never a man in the house. If we did something like that, we'd get the living hell beat out of us. We were AFRAID to do dumb shit.
    A good ass beating TEACHES respect for you and the things you own. I pity the foooo that avoids the rod to 'spare' the child.

    I love my mother and am THANKFUL she beat my ass when I needed it.
    just HOW does a paralyzed mom (or dad) do this (physically or legally)? let me know. geesh. like we are just dying for our kids to act like this. or even physically able to take a reasonable approach (such as removing a computer or whatever).

    come on, sit in my chair. what would YOU do? easy to say, not easy or even possible to do. don't need your pity. just some understanding would be nice. criticism from afar is easy.

    are you a single dad with teenage kid?? 24/7? with job? was your mom paralyzed?? come on. i can be legally prosecuted in WA for even asking a friend to come help, let alone lay a hand on my kid. GEESH.
    Last edited by cass; 12-20-2009 at 05:01 AM.

  6. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Coleen View Post
    Beating isn't allowed here in WA state, but he's paying everyday with the hurt & possible surgery. Besides, my 'chosen' (what we call adopted) boys were both sexually & physically abused by their biological mother & her live in, so violence isn't the best course to take with them. They need to unlearn it. I'm not a violent person, but I do follow thru with what I say - no threats, just promises & I don't make promises I can't (or won't) keep. W.O.E. - I've got one who's got ADD and the other is Autistic, but eventually they do learn - leave the holes until then, IMO
    wow, coleen. you are one strong, admirable person. i feel humbled by someone like you. i wanted to adopt, but once i was quad just giving birth was a big deal. still wanted to adopt an older child, checked into it. decided it wasn't right because of my situation. thought i'd have another child (naturally), but my relationship status didn't support it.

    i wish i could adopt 2 or 3 older kids (like 5 or 6 yrs old). i wish i could do what you're doing. we have got to meet maybe i can be auntie lol

  7. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by quad79 View Post
    Bente, I didn't realize there was a defecit w/ Thomas. Does he have ADD or a learning disability?
    He has problems with the social codes. He doesnt have Asberger but some of the problems people with Asberger has. Like he doesn't understand how to react to different kind of things. And most of the time it is not understandable when he is at home or with me, but he has trouble when it is too many children around him, like in a normal class. But now they are six in the class and three teachers and he is doing much better than he has ever done before.

    Like I have to tell him the same things 100 times before he learn it, he never understand why things is happening like usual children. But his IQ is normal but his social IQ is not normal. When he started at school he wasn't talking nice to another child and I told him if he did talk nice to others, they would talk nice to him and he asked why I hadn't told him that before. How could I know I had to tell him things like that?
    TH 12, 43 years post

  8. #38
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    Wow Bente, I guess that is a rough situation. Have the teachers at school come up with any possible ways to help, like to give more choices, special chores etc. ?

    I got my ass beat as a kid & I'm still living but things are different today when it comes to laws.Quite honestly, as much as I didn't like it being whipped, I learned way more from dealing with the consequences of my actions. After you're whipped, it's over. Taking away allowance, privledges,etc..now that stuff taught me more valuable lessons! Plus, in no way should a previously abused child or one with a mental defecit be hit.

    Cass & others..raising a child from a chair scares the hell out of me! Total props here!

  9. #39
    He gets help at school this year and hopefully the next two years. He is on a farm with horses and goats twice a week and the other days he has school. And he is living at the school so they have people there who try to help him to understand how to behave. Like I said, I usually don't have any trouble with him but he has been 13 and is in the puberty.

    I was beaten as a child too and I have never beaten Tomas. Only once when he was 3 years old and running away from me when he was small and crossed three street with enough traffic and he really scared me so when I reach him, he got a whipped on his ass.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  10. #40
    My kid did the same thing once. Testosterone....its a wall killer!!

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