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Thread: The Revenge of Arthur Guinness

  1. #1

    The Revenge of Arthur Guinness

    In the days of yore back when I was AB, a pint or three of Guinness with my friends was a welcome way to celebrate any occasion we could think of. Oh, how my memories have faded since then! For those of you uninitiated into the club of hardcore Guinness drinking, there can be a side effect known fondly as the "Guinness Shits". Thus my tale of woe begins....

    This last Sunday was my good friend Bill's birthday. He being a true Irish lad and me being just Irish enough to be dangerous, I took him for lunch and pints at the Two Fools Tavern here in Albuquerque - a great (wait for it) Irish place. Shepherds pies and many toasts later we went our separate ways. Fast forward 5-6 hours and I am transferring into bed and heard an ominous gurgle from the nether regions. "Oh crap" I barely had time to think before I knew I had a nasty night ahead of me. To make a long story short - I had to wash my sheets, wheelchair, Roho, floor (lucky my cats are quick!), and I spent the rest of the night either in the bog or curled up with cramps praying I wasn't getting a UTI on top of all this.

    These are the times I am thankful I live alone. I could not imagine subjecting a loved one to this. I will never abuse Guinness again - till the next time.

    "Today's the worst day since yesterday." - The Flogging Molly's

  2. #2
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Florida Keys
    In your defense, it is clear that "the black stuff" was the one guilty of abusing you, rather than the reverse.


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  3. #3
    LOL! Most of us have been there and you would be surprised at what a loved one (wife or girlfriend) would do. BTW switch to vodka

  4. #4
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    North Carolina, USA
    As one such spouse, trust me, I wished my guy lived alone when that happens here too.

    Funny story .... glad you lived to tell it.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  5. #5
    Oh to have a good few pints of cold guinness with its creamy head...that was my drink...happy days....a pint of plain is your only man!

  6. #6
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    San Francisco, CA
    sounds like an amazing night!
    C7/C8, T1 incomplete;

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  7. #7
    LOL at the fast cats.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hampshire, England.
    I've never suffered from the "Guinness Shits", says he touching every lump of wood in sight.

    However, in my carefree AB days we used to scoot over to Dublin to watch the odd Rugby match when many pints of the black stuff would be imbibed, the result of this on the early morning dump was impressive to say the least, every turd darker than a coal heavers armpit, happy days.

  9. #9
    Guinness used to be my drink of choice on Sundays at this little Irish pub we used to hang out called the Dubliner. I drink probably 4 pints the night I got hurt along with a bunch of Corona. I was actually throwing up in the bathroom at the bar. I can't drink it anymore, not only from the memories it brings up but half the class would fill me up. Glad you had fun with it, too bad a lead to skidmarks in a pool of crap. It is definitely a different buzz drinking Guinness though.
    C-5/6, 7-9-2000
    Scottsdale, AZ

    Make the best out of today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Nobody knows that better than those of us that have almost died from spinal cord injury.

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