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Thread: Medically Unstable Boyfriend

  1. #1

    Medically Unstable Boyfriend

    Hello,
    My Boyfriend of over a year has been recently having a lot of medical problems. We were best friends for 3 years before we started dating and recently there are somethings we're sifting through but the toughest thing for us to deal with is his medical conditions.

    His name is Bob. Bob doesn't have a spinal injury but a genetic hiccup. When he was formed in the womb, the part of his brain that controls his right side motor skills keep shutting on and off and the doctors anticipate it turning completely off by the time he graduates college. (We're both college freshman) This means that his right eye will go blind and he'll be able to feel on his right side but he won't be able to move it. This occurs on a daily basis for about 15 mins. Bob also has things going on with his blood that (i just found out 30 mins ago) could possibly be a sign of liver cancer as well as dropping 5 pounds in one day. He also could possibly have short term and long term memory loss.

    I'm not sure what is going to happen at this point. He told me that the doctors told him to start learning to write with his left hand because it looks like the "turn-off" will happen sooner than they thought.

    I know that i'm just his girlfriend and we're both really young but if he gets through all this there is a possibility of marriage in the future. What makes things very difficult is that we go to different colleges. So really the most i can do at times is be there for him emotionally but i'm just not sure what else to do. I'm scared for his life. If he has liver cancer its going to be a hard battle on top of his genetic hiccup.

    I'm sorry its so long but i've been researching and looking for ways to connect with people. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    Love Conquers All,
    Jessica

  2. #2
    Doesn't sound easy but posting indicates how much you care.

    I've just posted in another thread about how I've learned to not concentrate on the things I can't change (my injury).

    I suspect, if Bob's been dealing with and preparing for this all his life, he may have adopted a similar defence mechanism.

    Harder for you to do because I imagine you feel helpless.

    If you truly want to stay with Bob, knowing he will deteriorate, then the best you can do is continue to support him and not get caught up in pity for a situation he just has to deal with (potential liver cancer aside for now).

    Sorry, don't mean to suggest you are 'caught up in pity' just that this is an easy route to take.

    If you're having doubts about sticking for the long term, you're human. Don't stay unless you truly love him and can play a role in his life despite the disabilities. From your note it sounds like you are in it together.

    Good luck.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    tampa,fl, usa
    Posts
    27
    Hello, The price for Life for some people is very high. I personally do as much as I can as it relates to therapy and nutrition to pay for my Life so I may be confident in knowing I gave my Best. What is Life? May your Faith and Love keep you doing positive acts.....conrad

  4. #4
    RehabRhino, I've been trying to change me perspective more from the negative future to what he still has now. This genetic condition he has just started showing up. He had no idea this would happen. So we're both going through similar feelings but him moreso than me because he's actually afflicted. And so we both feel helpless and some pity but i'm trying to stay positive and strong for him.

    Conrad, thankfully he is seeing someone and he's trying to eat better but he keeps telling me that he feels full much faster than he used to. Once we identify whats really going on then we can go from there.

    Thank you both for your input. I really appreciate your support. God Bless You.

    Love Conquers All,
    Jessica

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