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Thread: Money can't buy anything

  1. #11
    I just didn't realize after 4 years of this he still had so much hope I'd be fixed. I thought we covered it last year when I came to pick him up from school and had lazily left my chair in the garage. He knew I'd been to the doctor that morning and first thing he said was are you better? I was confused and said I got medicine for my bladder. It was then I realized he thought the doctor fixed me because he saw no chair. He knows it's not that easy and he knows a lot because I speak to his class every year. I realized just now when writing this I have been here nearly half his life now.
    I am a good mom and I know I teach him good lessons but I'm still pissed we can't go explore the woods as easily as we used to. I'd rather teach him about that.
    I am always there, I go on most field trips, even the one to the pumpkin patch. I thought I would die pushing all over that farm. Riding a hay ride is kind of scary in a chair missing a brake.... I always figure there will be someone there who will drag me up. I think I should have skipped that one though. He may have had more fun without worrying abou tme lagging behind.

    So sorry for the ramble, some days I'm fed up. None of us should be faced with a daily challenge as hard as trying to accept this or adapt to it.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  2. #12
    Here they do things it is impossible for me to do together with them. I can't go on a boat trip when it is forbidden for people in wheel chairs to go on the boat. I can't look him when he is playing basket because it is impossible to be in the room because it is no place for me. They never think of that it would be nice for me to join. Last year it was in some peoples house and I called and asked if it was ok if I joined together with the rest and they say no. In Christmas they had the Christmas party in the second floor and they didn't even tell me. Then I called and asked why I wasn't invited and they said nobody could help me up so it wasn't any use anyway to invite me. I couldn't expect other people to help me meThey couldn't prospone a party because I was disable.

    Yes, I am mad because I don't count and that Tomas is kept outside. It is hurting him and it is hurting me. I hope the new school has another policy but they have already told me I can't visit because it is in the second floor.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  3. #13
    Sorry Bente that has to be so frustrating. I am amazed that your country gives you everything you need from 5 wheelchairs, to counters that raise and lower, automatic entry doors, a free van, etc. but they aren't up on putting in a lift or ramp. Here we can't get equipment but there's a ramp or a nice man who can lift in most places. It seems they are open to your needs or they'd never think that you would like a special counter top. Wonder why.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  4. #14
    addie, i think most of us dis moms feel like this. i went on field trips, drove kids (or just me cause bus wasn't accessible), drove on long x-country trips, been camping, etc. most, if not all, was fairly miserable for me but did it for my son. he has only known me as paralyzed (born 6 yrs post), so is a bit diff maybe.

    i feel for what you're going thru. it is hard.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
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    My youngest was in 8th grade when I got hurt, and I know some things were different for her than for the others, but they all have me as an ab mom for their childhood at least. So the hikes in the woods, trips to the beach, that sort of stuff, I could do.

    But as much as I know you really wish you could be there for that sort of stuff, I can tell, you are a great mom. You are there for the important stuff, and they know that.


    ps ..... and to you, cass, emi2, and all the others with small kids .... I sometimes can;t figure out how you manage!! Although I do know, some of the very hardest things I have done, have been because my kids needed me to.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  6. #16
    From the dad side.......it is VERY FRUSTATING!! As stated by many, there are things you know the kids are missing out on because of this chair. I feel the worst for the youngest, cuz he never really got to go do the things the older boy did with me. It does get to me at times, but I also force myself to look past what we cant do together to what we can do. Its not as rewarding, but you want to give them the best memories and experiences despite the obstacles. and yeah, in the end......money dont buy everything.

  7. #17
    Hearing my daughter pray and asking God to make me better so I don't need a wheelchair is sweet. I focus on doing what I need to do for her and showing her how much I love her. I try not to get caught up on how things could be without the spinal injury because I can't change that and it only breaks the heart.

  8. #18
    It is so stupid. It is very nice to get the equipment I need but maybe they do that because of bad considence since it is missing ramps and lifts everywhere. And everybody has pain in the back. I believe they think all disable people should be satisfied with being at home to knit and do handcraft and then they don't have to see us either. And I am sure only 1 of 10 people is going out alone and nobody think we should have children since we can't "follow them up" the right way.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  9. #19
    Senior Member
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    May 2008
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    Tennessee
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    808
    Don't really have anything to add like others have said you are a good mom and do so much with your children. No your not a good mom your a great mom. I know of ab moms that don't do as much with their children as you do.
    A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. ~Winston Churchill

  10. #20
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    Location
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
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    5,664
    You're a great mom and they know that.
    It's hard to see our children hurt. Much easier to hurt ourselves.
    I bet you're raising some fine children with beautiful hearts that care for others.
    Keep up the good work. You're an inspiration to us all!

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