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Thread: My mom died

  1. #21
    I can't even fathom it.

    You know where we are if you need us.

    More love and light.


  2. #22
    Deepest sympathies. Take care of yourself.

  3. #23
    Senior Member keps's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry Betheny.
    I know your mom had so many hard times in her life.

  4. #24
    I am very sorry for your loss!

  5. #25
    Hi Betheny,

    I am sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and family, your life has not been easy.

    I hope you can revel in her life and all it brought while you morn and grieve her loss.

    warmly,

    Bill

  6. #26
    It was so nice to get up from a night of insomnia, and find all these messages. CC is a remarkable place.

    I think the grief hasn't hit yet, I'm still in that shell-shock place we seem to be granted, so we can finalize details before we succumb to the inevitable pain, you know?

    I've known she was on borrowed time for years...last saw her 3 weeks ago, and we had such a wonderful visit, for days. My little bro was with us-SOBER!-just as he was yesterday when things went into a tailspin.

    Mom was 75, had a DNR, and had been suffering, albeit in relative silence. And boy, was she down with Jesus, these past 10 years or so. She'd taken to saying "Sometimes I lean on Jesus, and other times Jesus leans on me...but lately I've been doing a LOT of leaning."

    She had a horrible stroke at 48, has been in a nursing home since 1984. They had to remove some of her brain to relieve the pressure after her stroke; superficially she was still Mom, but then she'd clobber me with a comment and remind me "Oh yeah, brain injury." She'd fought MRSA, lymphoma, heart troubles, UTI's the past few years. And she was OK w/ going to the next stage.

    My world is forever changed, and I dread facing this void for my own selfish reasons. But knowing she had a long life, undaunted faith, and was ready for the next chapter is going to make this loss easier for us here on earth, esp. compared to the loss of my brother when he was 49. When I feel sorry for myself, I remember Mom's father abandoned them when she was 6, her mother passed when Mom was but 16. Life wasn't easy on Mom.

    I am so blessed to have had her to nearly age 50. I'm so glad I went to KS 3 weeks ago and spent a lot of time with her. My brother is currently sober, a miracle in its own right. Mom, my bro and I discussed funeral arrangements and the DNR during my last visit, so Bill and I were on the same page when push came to shove yesterday. We knew what she wanted, having heard it so recently. And I called her every day this week. I'm sure that in time to come I'll have regrets about selfish choices and missed opportunities, but I know she knew we loved her, absolutely. I already wish I'd let her cheat at dominoes a little more than I did, but we played hundreds of games-that's got to count for something.

    She was tough, but she was tired. And I can't believe I'm referring to her in the past tense...

    This is dumb, but to me the weirdest thing at this point is that I won't be hanging out in that damned nursing home any more. My grandma was there for 4 years; no sooner had she passed when Mom's previous nursing home closed and she moved into Grandma's former room. I've been visiting that room for 15 years!

    Thanks for listening as I process this. And thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for caring and responding. It meant so much to me, this morning.

  7. #27
    Wishing you and your family peace and comfort in the days ahead.

  8. #28
    Senior Member
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    Sorry for the loss of your mom Betheny. Sounds like she had quite the life. I'm glad you had a happy conversation with her before she was gone.

  9. #29
    Senior Member wheeliecoach's Avatar
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    So sorry Bethany...my thoughts go out to you and your family.
    "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

  10. #30
    Very sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for comfort are with you.

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