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Thread: My mom died

  1. #131
    skippy13-I wonder that myself! I guarantee Dad's will be a big do. He still has tons of family, even more employees, was a political figure for decades. I think maybe that is why he doesn't want me to do services. He didn't want one for my brother b/c he knew he'd have to either go or look bad. Kind of the same w/ Mom, actually-it would have looked better had he gone to support his kids.

    When my brother died, Dad said "The only people that will go will attend b/c they want to look at ME." WTF? There were 180 ppl there, none to look at Dad. Del had many friends!

    He said nobody would go to Mom's, as well, since she had v. little family. But she had a large church family and a large number of people she influenced over the yrs., usually by acts of kindness.

    In his mind, she withered at the nursing home except when we kids visited. He didn't realize she had built a circle of friends, despite the difficulties. He didn't know her classmates still visited. (She recently asked me for a tea set, that she might entertain guests. She used it, too!)

    I think Dad believes poor ppl have no friends? Not true, obvs. She was a good Christian, as Mona said. She knew ways to be kind that involved no $$.

    I can just hear her greeting my brother..."Hiiii, honeyyy!" It's hard to believe I'll only hear that in my mind from this point forward.

    Again, thanks, all. You are all proof that one needn't have $$ to have friends!

  2. #132
    Very sorry to just being seeing this--You have my deepest condolences, Betheny
    "I'm lost. I'm no guide, but I'm by your side." - Pearl Jam

    "It decomposes, mendicant, therefore, truly, one calls this the world." -- Loka Sutta

  3. #133
    Senior Member fishin'guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Seattle area Wash state


    You, my friend, are rich beyond all standards,

  4. #134
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    orlando, florida
    My condolences Bethany. I hope you are staying strong. Your mom would want you to.

  5. #135
    hey friend...good to hear from you, your letter brought tears and a decision to write my own letter to my family...glad to see you making the trip to NM...I know how you love it there and find healing...have a safe trip...hugs, judy

  6. #136
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    Sorry for your loss. After reading about your mom I now know where you get it from. You are just as strong willed and caring as she.

  7. #137
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    I'm glad you're at peace Bethany.This quote of yours is the way I hope to feel when my mom goes, Her body gave her hell, and it's not any more. I see a lot of beauty in that.She is whole again & right by your side.Still though,take care of yourself.Surely losing your mama has to be the worst loss ever.

  8. #138
    I'm starting to feel the void...Really gonna miss her. Denial and staying insanely busy only carry you so far. Nobody loves you like yo mama, that's for sure.

  9. #139
    Quote Originally Posted by betheny View Post
    I'm starting to feel the void...Really gonna miss her. Denial and staying insanely busy only carry you so far. Nobody loves you like yo mama, that's for sure.
    Betheny, just saw this post, I'm not on this site too much anymore, I'm soooo very sorry for your loss. Its a Tough thing losing a parent, I'm still getting over the loss of my father and that was last Christmas, I guess ya never really truelly get over it, all the memories of your life with your parent stay with you, its a good thing because thats all we have is the memories once they are gone. It is so permanent, like a door is closed forever and no way to bring them back. Its a tough thing to come to terms with, especially when you were really close with that person.

    Like you said, stay busy. It seems like I go through stages of thinking about my father all the time and wishing he were still around and them sometimes when I bury myself in projects I dont think about things as much and it helps.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

  10. #140
    Bethany your mum must have been very proud of you, and I believe the spirit always lives sounds like a beautiful service.

    I had to smile when I read about your father, thought I was the only one who had married an asshole(excuse the expression) all image no money money. I think I will get my kids to read what you wrote....i think it will give them strength to know they can have good lives despite everything.

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