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Thread: Stockholm syndrome

  1. #1
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    Stockholm syndrome

    Repositioning myself in bed by putting my arm under my knees to pick up my legs caused a minor bit of frustration which made me think of the whole broken neck thing.

    What had happened was a small chux happened to get caught between the back of my forearm in the bottom of my thigh, causing a synapsal flash of frustration over a relatively innocuous event. What I was having angst about was a piece of paper momentarily stuck to my arm rather than the quadriplegia itself.

    The degree of frustration from the chux sticking to my arm is extremely disproportional to the actual event unless you factor in having to handle it as a quad.

    Then I laid back and "how lucky I am" flashed through my head. If I was injured just slightly higher (less than 1 inch) I would not be able to pick up my legs like I just did or even live by myself. Have I developed a derivative of the "Stockholm syndrome", am I being thankful to the captor of quadriplegia because it could be worse (C-5, C-4, etc.) instead of hating every facet of it 24 hours a day seven days a week 366 days a year.

    What about those rare jewels that you experience only because of a spinal cord injury. Do you hate those with the same passion and tenacity or do you accept them as good and pleasurable experiences and then somehow your logic is telling you if it wasn't for the SCI this never would've happened.

    The bottom line is a spinal cord injury is one of the worse thing that could possibly happen to anybody, having said this, there are many things that are worse and should I make friends with the quadriplegia and be thankful I didn't get the "worse" thereby embracing my captors and accepting the SCI... as a good thing.

    I'm so confused.

  2. #2
    I haven't slept for 2 days, which sucks. But I am so grateful that I can get up, go in the other room, turn on the TV. I remember when that wasn't possible.

    If that is stockholm syndrome, I'll take it.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Cris View Post
    Repositioning myself in bed by putting my arm under my knees to pick up my legs caused a minor bit of frustration which made me think of the whole broken neck thing.

    What had happened was a small chux happened to get caught between the back of my forearm in the bottom of my thigh, causing a synapsal flash of frustration over a relatively innocuous event. What I was having angst about was a piece of paper momentarily stuck to my arm rather than the quadriplegia itself.

    The degree of frustration from the chux sticking to my arm is extremely disproportional to the actual event unless you factor in having to handle it as a quad.

    Then I laid back and "how lucky I am" flashed through my head. If I was injured just slightly higher (less than 1 inch) I would not be able to pick up my legs like I just did or even live by myself. Have I developed a derivative of the "Stockholm syndrome", am I being thankful to the captor of quadriplegia because it could be worse (C-5, C-4, etc.) instead of hating every facet of it 24 hours a day seven days a week 366 days a year.

    What about those rare jewels that you experience only because of a spinal cord injury. Do you hate those with the same passion and tenacity or do you accept them as good and pleasurable experiences and then somehow your logic is telling you if it wasn't for the SCI this never would've happened.

    The bottom line is a spinal cord injury is one of the worse thing that could possibly happen to anybody, having said this, there are many things that are worse and should I make friends with the quadriplegia and be thankful I didn't get the "worse" thereby embracing my captors and accepting the SCI... as a good thing.

    I'm so confused.
    Cris;
    You have a REAL writing gift. Reading your post I was sad it ended. Have you ever considered writing professionally?

  4. #4
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    Thank you for the compliment but it was just a thought that gave me pause because I reacted to the situation completely differently than i had before. Maybe you liked it because you understand and can emphasize.

    Deliberately stopping myself from becoming angry and making myself appreciate what I had rather than focusing on what was lost, still leaves me confused. There is a first time for everything; maybe I’m ready to forgive myself.

    Perhaps for the first time I thought of my injury with a different perspective, from a paradigm of possible life. When people would tell me that “I was lucky to be alive”, I acknowledged the statement though I was not ready to agree with their conclusion.

    The incident made me wonder what, if anything was changing about my attitude towards my injury and 'life' with it. Was I maturing, accepting, buzzed? I literally calmed the rage I felt brewing and it was good, almost scary I had the power to stop something so powerful as the rage always close by and ready to scream for attention at a moments notice.

    It was healthier response than the ones I have used many times before and wondered if anyone had any insight to the change (perhaps minor and temporary) in my action or reaction to the injury.

  5. #5
    [partial QUOTE=Cris;1098177]' When people would tell me that “I was lucky to be alive”, I acknowledged the statement though I was not ready to agree with their conclusion...'

    Why when we have the resources to change it, do SCI victims have to suffer? I ask.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Big Tuna's Avatar
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    Cris - I know exactly what you mean. I often find myself being thankful for how much recovery I've had. Especially when I see the scars from the trach & feeding tube, and pictures from the hospital/rehab. I never knew it had a name though.

    One major 'appreciation' for my sci is all the awesome people I have met and my relationship w/ my wife is alot stronger Before this I was too self absorbed too care. SCI sucks, but there are some benefits beyond parking.
    Inc C4 since Oct 07

    "Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing" - Optimus Prime

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