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Thread: Over 4 years and still nothing

  1. #1

    Over 4 years and still nothing

    My bro has been injured since 2005, June and things just don't seem to be getting better.

    Ups and downs and ups and downs. I'm sure everyone knows what its all about. Read hundreds of posts and understand as much as I can from outside perspective.

    My brother was admitted to the psyc ward the other day and nobody knows why. I heard nothing except for the fact that he was admitted.

    The day before he texted me ( live 1000 miles away) about how he has a lot of blood. And I was just thinking he was talking about his urine like always. He has had seriously about 25 UTI's since 2005. He does not take care of his body at all.

    But anyways, he then said that his heart felt like their was a fist in it. So I asked him if he meant physically or mentally? He did not really answer me.

    I then called him on the phone and he was crying real bad. My bro has only cried in front of me maybe 3 times his entire life and he is 29 years old.

    He told me that he was jealous of me. He told me he was jealous because I have son. I kept posting pictures of my little boy online facebook and he kept making nice comments about them.

    He kept crying and saying how he can never have a child. Kept on saying how it was going to cost 10K to have sperm removed etc..

    I tried to tell him that 10K is not easy, but for something you love so much it will be easy to save.....especially with family.

    He don't get it though and he won't until he stops using drugs. Nobody in there right mind should have a kid when they are messed up.

    Honestly, if your in a chair and you have your shit together, then go for it. But if your on drugs. HELL NO.

    He don't get it though.

    The problem is. I feel like i'm talking to a brick wall 99 percent of the time I talk to him. I'm not even sure nowadays if he is on drugs, or the drugs from the past ate his brain up so bad that he really is a different person now.


    How do you know when you tried hard enough for a family member? I know I have tried over and over again. My mom has basically giving up her entire life for him and she is seriously going to fall ill soon because of it. I know it.

    People try harder when someone dies. They will have regret for not trying hard enough and start some foundation or something AFTER the fact.

    So is there a point where you just got to throw in towel and forget it?


    I'm not sure if I even want help from carecure forums. I just felt like writing this. Am I being desensitized throughout the years?

  2. #2
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatsAPro View Post
    .......... How do you know when you tried hard enough for a family member? I know I have tried over and over again. My mom has basically giving up her entire life for him and she is seriously going to fall ill soon because of it. I know it.

    People try harder when someone dies. They will have regret for not trying hard enough and start some foundation or something AFTER the fact.

    So is there a point where you just got to throw in towel and forget it?


    I'm not sure if I even want help from carecure forums. I just felt like writing this. Am I being desensitized throughout the years?

    In answer to your question whatsapro ..... maybe not so much desensitized as emotionally worn down .....
    ..... but yeah ... maybe a little desensitized !!
    I'm glad you unloaded on us here ... you'll be surprised how much that can help .. you have alot of other dynamics going on aside from the sci so your situation is complicated.

    I guess at some point we need to make a choice ... for our own sanity and physical well being .. and the only way we know when that is ... is when we get there ! Sorry not very helpful I realize .... coming here to "talk" is a good first step ... portioning off little bits at a time is one approach .. so you aren't so overwhelmed ... the drug problem is huge and obviously complicates an already difficult situation ... here's a place I've found helpful - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ Just like sometimes silence is the best answer .... letting someone go is the only way to help them .... never easy to do ....

    I'm sorry for your emotional pain ... I hope someone else chimes in with more wisdom to share .... trust me you're not alone ... stay strong and all the best!!

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  3. #3
    It's never easy to see someone mentally ill or addicted to a substance.It's just awful what this disability can put some of us through.Remember to take care of yourself,you're being affected just as much as he is.I truely hope he gets his life together,hopefully the pshyc care will improve his outlook.Unfortunately until it sinks in & he wants to fix it,it won't.Continue to vent before it brings you down too.Even once he gets straight,he'll still need his bro to get through the ups & downs.

  4. #4
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    I'm sorry that you are going through this. It has been proven in research that past drug usage can affect your brain and also create different mental illnesses. You could possibly be desensitized due to frustration due to your brother. It's hard to have a family member who is a drug user because it can definitely affect a family as a whole. It's hard to have an SCI. and many people go through denial periods. Your brother really needs to start taking care of himself and check into a rehab or something if he is using drugs, so he can start taking care of himself. It's really up to him to become clean and take care of himself. He's 29 years old. I agree, I understand that you worry, but you also need to take care of yourself. Hugs.

  5. #5
    Still no word from him. The pysc ward I guess had there lips shut so nobody can find out anything.

    Well, he needed it. Hopefully they will keep him for a long time and not just shove him out the door so he can come right back if he survives the next round.

    They need a damn boot camp for anyone that screws up in life and they need to make it mandatory and hard.

    Forced work, learning, no drugs, just good food and drinks, forced bed times etc. And if you mess up, you just don't eat or you get no blanket or whatever. lol. I'm serious. People would volunteer for it if it mean curing them of drug addiction.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by WhatsAPro View Post
    Still no word from him. The pysc ward I guess had there lips shut so nobody can find out anything.

    Well, he needed it. Hopefully they will keep him for a long time and not just shove him out the door so he can come right back if he survives the next round.

    They need a damn boot camp for anyone that screws up in life and they need to make it mandatory and hard.

    Forced work, learning, no drugs, just good food and drinks, forced bed times etc. And if you mess up, you just don't eat or you get no blanket or whatever. lol. I'm serious. People would volunteer for it if it mean curing them of drug addiction.

    So sorry to read about your brother. I hope he's NOT in Shattuck or Tewksbury. Mostly animals for caregivers there with some exceptions. Plenty of drugs in their parking lots 4 sale.
    I did read some of your prior posts and I know you are suffering. It has been a long and tortuous time for your whole family. David can get help. I wish you would PM me so we can talk about the resources, good and bad in Massachusetts. Beast Wishes Patti

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