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Thread: I am feeling awkard surfing matrimonial site for THE disabled

  1. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Dear Vaibhavjain

    I am anxious to know from you that what you are doing for SCI patients in mumbai? I have been there in mumbai in 2008 for check up to Dr Alok but did not get stem cell treatment.

    I hope u will keep me updated what is happening in mumbai and india.

    God bless you dear and have winning days ahead


  2. #42
    @betheny how are you.i m just fine.i had recently shock-electric current and my right hand was badly swollen. though i m alright now. it was funny to cope with legs and hand too. Did i miss to say hello ?? i read every post. i do reply but yes late reply. Betheny, BF, phew...deep pain it was

    @Elieen Hi are you )

    I must admit. CC rejuvenates me. i feel the difference of today and yesterday.

    @vaibhav do tell me where the location is.

  3. #43
    Very interesting articles

  4. #44
    Hello Everybody..After long time , i am on CC. Many time wish to read forum , discuss, get knowledge but life is keeping me lil over occupied.Warmest regards to all of you here.

    continuing the same thread as it is related.i am in very complex situation.i finally met one interesting prospect from reputated matrimonial site. became frds on facebook and twitter which gv me more insights to know the guy.he is masters in finance, speaks very sensible,matured and intelligent. we matched the wavelength. i like him and he likes me too more than a frd. He wants to marry. we went out five times. he earns good and comes from good family.hes within same caste. Hes having elbow crutch in one hand and wear full callipers.he travel in train,bus and every vehicle.he doesnt need any helper like me. hes independent and strong determined person.

    But now the problem is my parents are not so much positive abt it as they r saying both disabled would make life more challenging and later would be burdensome for both. i told them that helpers would be there for me then there would be very less possibility for challenges and if sometime challenges come, we would face. Also some relatives are advising not to marry and be career oriented which i am already.

    ALSO,the guy is sure to settle in other state after 4 years ie. Gujarat. Living in other state is fearful as none of family members can reach me instantly.

    My thoughts : i would like to b in relationship with guy. but wont marry.we would enjoy each other company by going out,movies,outstation etc. But at the end of the day he would be in his house and i will be in mine. So no challenges and no problems and no fears. And when he would settle in other state, we would be in long distance relationship and we would often meet as it is 2 hrs away by air.

    Am i right or i should wait for some other prospect which is more abled??? would long distance relationship would be good?? i havent discuss this with guy and i m going to discuss all this today.

  5. #45
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    I know it's important for you to be respectful to your family and extended family, but sometimes love and life involve risk.

    You've looked for so long and you speak fondly of this gentleman!

    I would take the risk. If he is as determined as you say, he would never let you go without help or aide.

    Good luck in whatever you decide Shweta and good to see you back!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #46
    Lyniffer is very wise. I agre witha ll she says. I suggest you ask your parents if they would rather you have a partner to go thru life after they pass or not.

    For me, two negatives, disabilities, always ends up a positive.

    Good luck S.

  7. #47
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hampshire, England.
    Go with your heart!

    At the moment you sound like someone asking if they should buy the current iPad or wait for the next generation as it might be better.

    Take the plunge you deserve happiness!

  8. #48
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    I agree. Listen to your heart, as only the true answer can be found there. It does not sound like his disability has stopped him from doing anything, and that he is up to facing whatever challenges might appear. On the other hand, if you want more time to think about it and to come up with a decision that is certain for you then continue just enjoying your time together without having to marry quite yet. Sorry, I know you want someone to point you in the right direction, but that resides within your own heart. Just listen to it and then follow it........... Wishing you the absolute best.

  9. #49
    Thanks for your replies. It has encouraged me. I like this guy and i would be talking to him , know him more..and then let heart decide . After reading you all, i would seriously not let the one go just for future fears. Love you all . Thanks from bottom of my heart seriously. i am much clear now.. i would be updating this thread.

  10. #50
    Senior Member TheAbleChef's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Toronto, Ontario
    I was thinking the same thing!! The mentality of India is hard to get over but you will find people that will look past your disability. I found the love of my life here. She is not Indian either. Do you have any relatives outside of India?

    Quote Originally Posted by KiranA View Post
    Have you thought of marrying outside of the Indian community? The Indian culture is experiencing a shift in attitude and a change for the better, thankfully, but there's still a long way to go in accepting people with disabilities. I personally don't expect to end up marrying an Indian guy because of the attitude that exists towards someone who is physically challenged, and I live in Canada!

    In our culture, moreso in India than elsewhere, it is still very much the ideal that women, although it is acceptable to now hold jobs, should still cook, clean and rear children. People are too ignorant to know that this is still possible after a spinal cord injury. It's too difficult for one individual to try and change the mind of society. I would focus on what is most important for you. Do you want to meet someone and be married, or are you feeling pressured to do it because of your parents? If you truly do want to meet someone, I would try international dating sites. There are a lot of able-bodied men who are open to dating someone with your injury.

    I wish you luck. You're beautiful and you will meet someone.
    Never Give Up!

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