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Thread: helper monkeys

  1. #1
    Senior Member goddy's Avatar
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    helper monkeys

    http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/

    looking at these monkeys i really want one now.
    but i have a asistant dog an live in australia.

    check out the link its great

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
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    They rip out their teeth in order for them to be helper monkeys. Not cool. They can also tend to be very temperamental. I think the reality of the helper monkey isn't as pleasant as the idea.

  3. #3
    Senior Member da lurker's Avatar
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    for some reason my mind assumed you were referring to your avatar

  4. #4
    After the famous chimp mauling in Stamford, Conn., in February, the victim from which is still hospitalized, I would be hesitant to use a monkey.

  5. #5
    The thing that really turned me off to the concept of helper monkeys was an interview Brendan Fraser did about working with a Capuchin monkey when he was a guest on the Graham Norton Show.

    It seems the monkey they used when he was filming George of the Jungle needed to be fitted with a fur bikini because it had an almost perpetual erection, and every time it got annoyed it would "disappear up into the rafters and have a wank."

    No thanks.
    It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.

    ~Julius Caesar


  6. #6
    What inspiration do monkeys use to wank? Curious George comics or primate articles and photos in National Geographic?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Jeff B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Peter View Post
    What inspiration do monkeys use to wank? Curious George comics or primate articles and photos in National Geographic?
    Your nose, your ear, their poop, the poop they smeared in your nose or ear, it's all good to them.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehipcrip View Post
    The thing that really turned me off to the concept of helper monkeys was an interview Brendan Fraser did about working with a Capuchin monkey when he was a guest on the Graham Norton Show.

    It seems the monkey they used when he was filming George of the Jungle needed to be fitted with a fur bikini because it had an almost perpetual erection, and every time it got annoyed it would "disappear up into the rafters and have a wank."

    No thanks.
    lol Well, the helper monkeys are all female, so need to worry about monkey erections. But there's still the poop issue.

    Ever see the movie "Monkey Shines"? A helper-murder-monkey might come in handy.

  9. #9
    They freak me out, man. I hear they'll throw their feces at you if you tick them off. That wouldn't brighten my day.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jeff B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion View Post
    They rip out their teeth in order for them to be helper monkeys. Not cool.

    I always have my attendant's teeth and nails removed as well. It sounds cruel but it is necessary for my safety. It also keeps them out of my snacks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion View Post
    Well, the helper monkeys are all female, so need to worry about monkey erections.

    I used to think that they sent the male monkeys off to war with the roosters that they sorted out from the hens at egg farms too but the last monkey on the monkey college video from the helping hands website was clearly named Webster. Maybe he is a pacifist and showed enough masturbatory restraint to make it past the admissions officer.

    I bet they are still more reliable than the average person who applies for the job. Sure they might throw poop but at least they come to work every day.

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