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Thread: free floating loneliness and isolation- how do you cope?

  1. #1
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    free floating loneliness and isolation- how do you cope?

    I see all the cool people on here that i've made friends with but get sad when I realize you all live so far away. I have my AA friends and my gym posse but it's not like we hang, they have problems dealing with my disability and they have their own lives as well.

    Same with work.

    Aside from here, how do you folks network?

    Brock

  2. #2
    Hey, Brock...take it easy on yourself... It's not YOU...it's probably that folks ARE busy...and I am sending you a PM...

    Take care!

    Teena

  3. #3
    Senior Member CapnGimp's Avatar
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    I don't hang with folks that have problems with my disability. Just like I don't hang with folks that get on my nerves, lol.
    I ran alone for many years with just a few buddies. Gives you a lot of time to do what YOU want to do. That's how I looked at it. Sure, it got old occasionaly, but I don't go where I'm not welcomed with open arms.

    I have found a bunch of folks these past few years who don't see the chair as an obstacle. It is good to be amongst people again but now I have no free time for me, lol.

    I met a lot of people online gaming over the years. We used teamspeak to talk, like a party line, clear and free. That solved most of my lonliness issues for those years. I've met one of them in person a few times. Comes up and hangs out. Even brought me two powerchairs once. Still use them.

    Meeting people is the same dynamic it always was, except for the chair accessibility issue. If they have problems with you physically, piss on'em, you don't want to be around people like that anyway. I can see folks getting worried about mud on their floor or skinning walls with a footplate, no different than a kid. But if ya got problems with me, I ain't going to yer hut anyway.

    I've been rode up steps and in a door on women's backs before, lol. If they want you around, you'll know. First time I went to one buddy's house, he gave me a piggyback touur of all 3 floors. Seemed natural as hell to both of us.

    Go meet some new folks, leave those stick in the mud friends to themselves.

  4. #4
    If you get totally bored, take a trip down to Dallas.
    Would you like to learn how to SCUBA for free?
    How about sail? You can get an ASA certification if you feel like.

    (yeah.. i'm pushing the Rise thing.. but.. hey.. its Free! )
    Rick Brauer or just call me - Mr B

    http://www.riseadventures.org

  5. #5
    Do you have a local SCI peer group you could attend or any other social group you might have interest in?
    Maybe a dating site?
    "The sweet is not as sweet without the bitter"
    ~"Vanilla Sky"~

  6. #6
    those ppl arent your friends man. friends dont give a shit about gimpness, unless your a whiney bitch gimp, lots of those, but u dont seem that way.

    not busting ballz, but maybe you have a bit of self esteem issues. cc isnt reality, lets face it these cyber ppl arent reallyour friends. nothing more than acquaintences[sp], u gotta get a life. u seem cool, find a woman to share your life with,.
    i have been around for years and there are maybe 2-3 ppl i consider friends here, i have actually meant them.



    Quote Originally Posted by cavemuscle View Post
    I see all the cool people on here that i've made friends with but get sad when I realize you all live so far away. I have my AA friends and my gym posse but it's not like we hang, they have problems dealing with my disability and they have their own lives as well.

    Same with work.

    Aside from here, how do you folks network?

    Brock
    Bike-on.com rep
    John@bike-on.com
    c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
    sponsored handcycle racer

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cavemuscle View Post
    I see all the cool people on here that i've made friends with but get sad when I realize you all live so far away. I have my AA friends and my gym posse but it's not like we hang, they have problems dealing with my disability and they have their own lives as well.

    Same with work.

    Aside from here, how do you folks network?

    Brock
    what problems do they have dealing with your disability specifically?
    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Them Bones's Avatar
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    I hear ya cavemuscle. I have friends at work and school, but both of those are 30 minutes drive away and except for one or two we don't hang outside of there. I have a buddy on my basketball team that I chill with some times, but he's also 30 mins away. Part of it is a geographic issue. I can't wait to be done with college and get out of this small town.

    I agree with pretty much everything fuente says. I have my own shyness and pride to get over. And I have to. After being single for over a year I fucking hate solitude.

  9. #9
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    wouldnt it be cool for us all to meet? I dont have a lot of close friends, but a lot of aquaintences. My two cats are probably my closest friends, and seem to know when I need a group hug. Im having to find them new homes. I think it will be so lonely without them. they have been good to me in my lonesomest hours.

  10. #10

    In My Tribe

    Find what blisses the hell out of you and go for it. When you are doing what you love, what you really like to do, you'll meet other like-minded individuals.

    Some may care about your disness. Don't waste your time worrying over those peeps. They're not of your tribe. You'll meet others who are so worth it and your friendship, who love doing whatever it is you're doing and will love and caer about you, too. You can build good, solid friendships when you do what you love because you meet others with that same passion, interest and zeal.

    For me, that bliss is found in a very few things: volunteering; the outdoors; and in art (including my own).

    I'm sometimes around other dis individuals, but it's not the point. Whether ab or dis, friends make sure I can get in anywhere we are or go. I've quit sweating it with my regular crew. We always work it out.

    Find your bliss, do what you love and somehow you find your peeps, they you and then, you've found your tribe.

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