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Thread: Need advice please!

  1. #1

    Need advice please!

    I got a friend request on facebook... Turns out she's married to the guy who was driving the motorcycle when I got injured (I was riding on the back, we both fell off, I never got up, he wasn't hurt). He's from the States and was studying here for a while and was friends with some of the girls on my football team so a bunch of us hung out together. After the accident he went back and got married some time later.

    Anyway, I was never mad at him, was very much in the mindset that it was meant to happen. He came to visit once when I was in the ICU and I forgave him basically.

    Meanwhile I haven't thought about all this in so long - it's been 4 years. So she writes that she'd like to talk to me, that he's having a hard time and wants to know how I'm doing. When I saw the msg, I stared at the screen and said OMG OMG OMG for five minutes. I was so surprised; I'd completely put that all behind me.

    Hope that summarises well. So what do I do? Tell her I'm fine or that this f*ed up my life and I wish I had died? Hah well obviously I'll just say I'm fine, that's what I tell everyone else anyway.

  2. #2
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
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    Tell her you're fine and he needs to get over it
    unless he's the type that needs 'anything' to cry about all the time, then there's not much you can do, a whiner is a whiner
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  3. #3
    He's a chicken.
    His guilt, you owe him/her absolutlely nothing.

    After a breath or two (facebook just brings out everyone from your past) if YOU de4cide you want a correspondence then do so.
    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

  4. #4
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    Tell her you two have nothing in common,no need to "be friends". Just say it's up to him to deal the same way you have been left to do,have a nice life.By no means would I ever say "I'm fine", that's just what he wants to hear to make himself "feel better".You have enough to worry about without taking on his baggage too.

  5. #5
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    Agree, I don;t think I would say "I'm fine".

    Something to the effect that "I have tried to put that all behind me, thank you." And deny the friend req.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  6. #6
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    It feels like the most honest answer to me is that you are severely disabled, but that you are trying the best you can to accomodate this new life. That's all. You already forgave him.

  7. #7
    I'd write.."It has taken him this long to get a hold of me & see how I'm doing. I'm not one to normally sugar coat things, but what the hell why not? I'm doing fine."
    Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

  8. #8
    Ok, I like what Sjean wrote.

    Thanks all!

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by mimin View Post
    Ok, I like what Sjean wrote.

    Thanks all!
    I agree with Sjean as well. I don't believe this guy is a whiner. I think it's commendable he still remembers and contemplates what happened and how it affected your life. But you don't necessarily have to be buddies with his girlfriend, that's a bit over-the-top.


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mimin View Post
    Anyway, I was never mad at him,
    This leads me to believe that it was an accident and not this gentleman's fault...if that's the case, what's wrong with befriending someone that you definitely have something in common with??? I don't get all the negativity???
    KB

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