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Thread: Trying to understand C 7 Quad

  1. #31
    healing, welcome to cc...there should be NO PRESSURE sores...he should be turned every 2 hours...if the nurses are'nt turning him then family must...a sore can really delay his he on an airloss mattress? hopefully he is...
    I hope your son is doing well, how old is he? I can't imagine doing for my ex, what you are doing...take care! judy

  2. #32
    The family says the hospital is turning him every 2 hours. Not sure if he is on the airloss mattress. He was when at the prior hospital, in ICU.
    My son is 9. He doesn't know, yet. My son will be very worried for him. I want to wait until his dad can talk to him on the phone and reassure him that he is ok.
    As for him being an ex....even though he may not have been there for me, I want the best for him and wish I could be there for him. I want to see him achieve the most return possible. He's dying inside, thinking he about the father he hasn't been so far and thinks he will never get the chance to be. I believe he still has that chance.
    We live across the country and all I can do is try to gather helpful information for him.

    Thanks for the thoughts.....

  3. #33
    At 9, your son is old enough to be told that his dad had a spinal cord injury and was seriously injured. It may be some time before his dad can talk on the phone, and kids that age tend to catastrophize (think that things are even worse than they are) if not given an appropriate explaination for a parent's illness and hospitalization. He could then call and talk to his dad now, even without his dad being able to talk back. They both would benefit from it. You might even try to arrange a visit with his dad sooner rather than latter. In my experience, keeping kids away to protect them in a case like this is often not to the child's benefit in the long run.


  4. #34
    and how many kids do you have reason what so ever to tell this child might be a different story if they lived in the same town and suddenly daddy wasn't picking him up for visits...yeah, I think he'd have to be told then, but waiting until he can talk to his dad and have dad talk to him, even if that is a few weeks will do no harm to a 9 year old

  5. #35
    Mad, I have worked with parents with new SCI daily for the last 30 years, and worked with their children (infants through teens) in helping them learn about and adjust to their parents' injuries. I am not providing advice here as a parent, but as a SCI nurse who provides care in a family oriented approach. Do what you want with your children, but nurses, doctors and mental health professionals will endorse what I have advised above.


  6. #36
    I'm with KLD in this. The child should know. Imagine how disillusioned he'll feel knowing that his dad "needed him" and he didn't know. The discovery will be difficult whenever it happens but the added sense of "not being there" will last a life time.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

  7. #37
    the family really needs to get him out of Spaulding ASAP-He should not be getting bed sores-- if they have questions they can send any of us a message.

    My children were 7 and 12 when I was injured and though it was very difficult for all of us --it was very important that they new what was going on with me. Also- I pushed myself tremedously just to prove to the children that everything would be OK-not great but OK.---At the time I was divorced - my ex is now my angel- he stepped up to the plate and was there for all of us and still is.

  8. #38
    [quote=madmaddmother;1053414]and how many kids do you have kdl...
    That was mean and uncalled for.

  9. #39
    I can totally understand the need for this child to be told...and I thought when I posted saying that because this child lives many states away and does not have a regular visitation with his dad, giving healing support that she KNOWS her child and what SHE feels is best for far as the pictures of Will Reeve with his dad...different set of circumstances...they were a loving together family...a divorce doesn't stop any love...just makes things difficult sometimes...I will say it again, I just wanted to support Healing in making whatever decision she decides, knowing she knows her son...I didn't mean for the question asking kdl how many kids she has as being mean...perhaps I should have used a question mark... the question was asked because Moms know their children...I have 7...and everyone of them with VERY different personality's and handle life challenges accordingly...judy

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    London Ontario Canada
    I have two boys 4 & 6 and thier dad is a C 5/6 since December. I told them from day one. I told them about how the body works... and that the doctors cannot fix it. I told them that a wheelchair is not a cage. I also make it very clear everyday to them that Dad did not choose to be this way - but he is still thier Dad. The totally understand. They still have a hard time here and there - but the medical side of things really facinates them. Plus "as boys are" they think all the equipment we use for Dad is pretty cool (c;

    I'm not telling you what to do - but I just thought I would let you know how I dealt with it. It's really worked out this way.

    Oh - and I also tell them that Dad is still alive. It's OK to be happy that Dad is alive & sad that he is in a chair. It's OK to be happy & sad at the same time.

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