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Thread: I'm tired of this #$%&-ing pain!!!!

  1. #411
    Senior Member da lurker's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
    29 ° N 81 ° W
    I am getting so tired living life as a spazzy sci...I get sick and tired of sitting around not doing anything but at the same time I don't want to do anything cause it hurts unless I take so much meds I don't care what happens or I tough it out and suffer through it...fuck this shit

    Welcome to The Flat Earth Society

  2. #412
    Quote Originally Posted by thehipcrip View Post
    Becky, please be careful about mixing alcohol with your meds. I'm kind of a hypocrite when it comes to this topic -- I used to regularly wash down a handful of pills with a cocktail. Scared a few friends to death with that little stupid human trick.

    I can understand where you're coming from for sure -- I'd just hate to see you maybe end up worse off than you are now from mixing alcohol and pain meds (think valium and beer a la Karen Ann Quinlan).

    I guess thats the problem. As I was drinking I was hoping and praying that at some point during the night I would just stop breathing. I am normally not a big drinker at all and I drank a pretty large amount. Four or five long island's and three very large shots of vodka. I don't want to start self medicating with alcohol. I just need to stop all of this pain!!!!

    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  3. #413
    Still in excruciating pain .......... FML.... Oh here, try this and if your not "better" in a week or two come back and try some other shit ass something that wont f-ing work. Sounds like a wonderful plan that I'm done following.....


    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  4. #414
    I am sorry for your horrible pain, endless sleepless nights and merry-go-round of doctors/treatments.

    I had another visit with my PM doc and at least he made me feel like he "gets it" we were discussing the difficulty in describing the many qualities of central/neuropathic pain and he made the analogy comparing that to describing a "Complex Wine" with all of the different characteristics, feelings, undertones, etc... That comment gave me hope that he does understand to a degree, he also believes me which is important.

    The problem is that he has tried everything known to man without the hoped for, desired, expected, results. He said there is nothing more he can do at this point. He can refer me to Mayo if I want (he has other patients) but from what I have researched we have basically tried all there is to try. His other patients were basically reviewed and said "Yep, you've been thoroughly worked up" and sent back. Plus I have a friend/doc who has provided a 2nd opinion and review from a specialist.

    He says at this point anything he does is experitmental, trial and error, in other words we are beyond protocol. So, he wants to do yet another block which is very painful and has not worked (this is really bothering me, I've already had way too many). I think HE feels better because at least he is DOING something. He wants me to "go back to have my SCS reprogrammed because I have this expensive piece of equipment in me". The doc who put it in me has said they have maxed out the programming options already. It had gotten to the point where the SCS was exacerbating the problem instead of helping and it was turned off. ughh He also said maybe up the Topomax but I am already having problems forgetting words?

    So, a doc who believes you, but says I'm sorry there are no answers/help

    at least he's honest....
    The IceDragon Avatar best represents my constant Freezing yet Burning Pain...not to mention all the other sensations that come with neuro pain

  5. #415
    Still Learning, I am sorry that your doc has run out of ideas . I am not sure what is worse.... being told there is nothing else they can try or just not doing anything at all.

    So yep, you guessed it.......... 2AM once again. How and when did my life become this mess?? I am looking for a new pain doc and everything just seems soooo far. I know it shouldn't matter and it wouldn't if I didn't have to take stupid public transit to get there. If I wasn't in pain I wouldn't mind taking the buses and trains. But in this amount of pain just getting to the appt would be challenging. I really don't have much of a choice at this point though . I didn't get to sleep until 6AM yesterday morning and was up just around 8AM. So I have been up for 18 hours with only 2 hours of sleep. I don't know.......... . I have tried to cry myself to sleep but that isn't working anymore either. Maybe sleep is only for the lucky.......

    Oh I just hate what my life has become. I hate it so much that I don't let anyone else see it. I know that isn't helping anything but this is not me......FML!!!

    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  6. #416

    Pain that won't stop

    With my SP CATH I am in pain BUT my head hurts too so it is MS scrwing up my body. U 2?

  7. #417
    bcsimpsons, we seem to be in the same boat. as i sit here sippin vodka on top of percs and mscontin. i'm sorry but it's the only way to help reduce this fuckin pain to a numbness.

    for the last month....i hate to wake up. i wish i could just turn the switch OFF and just never wake up, that's awful i know but...........
    if i barely move in the mornings my body goes into total shock. if nobodys comin to get me up, i just lie in bed all day trying not to move. any little movement makes me draw up.

    you all know it's hard to explain but this FUCKIN pain is the worst part of sci, except for bowel which is a whole nother thread.

  8. #418
    The fires are burning pretty hot tonight..... Damn this pain!!!! To hell with this pain.... Fuck this pain!!!!!!!!!
    L1 Complete - Injury 3/12/06 - Grateful to be alive!!!!

  9. #419
    My dear husband who is one of the toughest guys I know-before and after SCI-woke up in tears a couple nights ago with pain. I can not imagine how bad it must be to break him down that way some nights.
    I feel so helpless and frantic when it happens. I gave him 2 ativan and an ambien just hoping to take the edge off and hopefully sleep.

  10. #420
    Pain and sleep are a not two things that go together. I personally have given up on the idea of sleeping more then half an hour at a time. I won't be brought down by a UTI or a pressure sore. I"ll be brought down by lack of sleep due to pain. How sad is that...

    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

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