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Thread: so the big question?

  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Emi,
    I really don't want to come off as an "old fart" here, but you have so many other things to worry about and prioritize. It is natural to wonder about what sex will be like, for any teenager, disabled or not, but one of the things that is perhaps an added burden (or opportunity!) if you are disabled and female is the need for a better than average education. I know it sounds like some cliche, but education is the key to a better job, better pay, and a lifetime of greater opportunities. You will not be able to do menial labor jobs, and that is a GOOD thing, because with your obvious intelligence you will be able to choose a profession that will bring you both security and a decent income. The last thing in the world you want is to turn out like Bristol Palin, nursing a kid and having some slack jawed sperm donor taking off on you. Fourteen is too young. Not to think about it, but to engage in sex. In some ways it would rob you of so much of life's other pleasures. You are only this age once, and need to take advantage of it without being tied down to some "first love," which usually lasts about two weeks anyway. If you decide to ignore those of us saying to wait please, please use protection. You do not want to find yourself in poverty living in a slum raising a child on welfare if you can avoid it.

  2. #12
    Emie,

    Given all of the comments here telling you that you're too young to be thinking about, let alone having, sex, I'm going to sound like a mad woman here for repeating the advice Dr. Laura Berman recently gave on the Oprah show to some teenage girls about your age.

    Before engaging in a sexual relationship with anyone, take charge of your own sexual well being by learning about your body and the practices involved in having "safer" sex.

    Experiment by yourself within your comfort levels (emotionally and morally) to find out what and where feels good and what doesn't. Remember that pleasure zones are not limited to the genital areas.

    Practice communicating what you think the partner you choose should know about what you are, and especially what you are not, comfortable with doing. It may seem silly, but practicing this by saying it out loud in front of a mirror really helps!

    Learn about safer sex, including the correct way a condom is put on. (I read a statistic recently that said condoms are put on inside out at a rate that shocked me -- something like 30 percent of the time. Research birth control methods, and always remember that no method is 100 percent effective except total abstinence. Again, practice telling your partner that having unsafe sex means there will be no sex.

    And an important question to ask the one you think your first tiome might be with is, "How long do you expect us to be together?" Don't accept "forever" as an answer -- ask if that means six weeks or six years. It really surprised a girl who was your age to hear her boyfriend, whom she was convinced she was ready to have intercourse with, say that he thought they'd only be together for "six weeks or so, because after all, they *are* teenagers" when asked that question. She changed her mind about him being her first right then and there.

    For a variety of reasons, far too many young women let the boy they are with take charge of the situation, worry more about how he feels than how they do, and rely on boys for sexual satisfaction. Don't let that be you. When the time comes, you deserve and should expect to be an equal partner. Anyone of quality you choose to be with will not only respect that, but admire you for it. If they don't, kick' em to the curb.

    --THC

    PS -- you might want to send a message to Obieone, or make a request in this thread, and ask to become a member of the private Women's Only Forum. It's a really pleasant and safe place to ask questions like this.
    It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.

    ~Julius Caesar


  3. #13
    This might sound totally and completely insane, but I first found out about that stuff when I was about 10 (about 3 years ago). And to be completely honest that question has been in my mind ever since... My biggest problem is that I am a C-1 quad on a ventilator. So I am absolutely terrified that all of my machinery (and other disadvantages) will make the experience traumatizing for myself and "whoever"... All of you nice adults here, please don't worry. I know Im only almost 13, don't freak... Im not having sex nor am I anywhere near ready to. BUT, as a teenager, I often think about it and I wonder what will happen when or IF the time will come??? :-)

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