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Thread: Jealousy - how to deal

  1. #1
    Junior Member sinbin's Avatar
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    Jealousy - how to deal

    Sad to say I need your help. How do you deal with a spouse's jealousy when discussing your issues with others and not him? It sucks. Because I have someone that cares, other than him, I have to hear his wrath. Let me tell you, it does not help the situation. I thought it was wonderful to have others who cared, but to get it thrown in your face is not fun. Do/did any of you deal with this? How?
    Last edited by sinbin; 05-02-2009 at 12:53 AM. Reason: type -o

  2. #2
    Is this other person who cares platonic? If it is an innocent relationship, I'd try to include the jealous party in the relationship until he chills. I have had to issue ultimatums once or twice, like "This man is a good man, a dear friend, godfather to our son. You WILL treat him with respect or deal with my wrath, which can be loud and long. Anybody invited into our home, for any reason, is to be greeted with kindness and hospitality. This is my home too, and my friends will be made welcome. If that is beyond you, I will meet him elsewhere, because he was my friend before I knew you existed. And if you are ever again rude to a person I choose to have in my life, our lives need to go separate ways.

    Cause we are PARTNERS, and lest you've forgotten, you're not the boss of me."

    If it's not platonic, obvs that's a different can of worms.

    Also, remember it's a 2-way street. If your partner has a platonic friend of the opposite sex, the onus is on you to treat that person just as you want your friend to be treated. There's no getting around that.

    My husband claims no man can be platonic friends with a woman without secretly wanting to boink her. I don't think that's true, but his believing it has made for some head-butting over the years. I don't ditch loyal friends of 25 years because they are male, and I never will. I also make every effort to include my platonic friends' wives or whatever in our friendship as much sd possible.

  3. #3
    This degree of jealousy, which smacks of him trying to isolate you emotionally from anyone but him, edges on a spousal abuse behavior pattern. Nip it in the bud. Get some counseling if he cannot see how damaging this is to a healthy relationship.

    (KLD)

  4. #4
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betheny View Post
    My husband claims no man can be platonic friends with a woman without secretly wanting to boink her. I don't think that's true, but his believing it has made for some head-butting over the years. I don't ditch loyal friends of 25 years because they are male, and I never will. I also make every effort to include my platonic friends' wives or whatever in our friendship as much sd possible.
    Hate to admit it, but your husband is right, well to be honest, if it's a attractive lady then there is no such thing as plantonic, we always have sex in the back of our mind
    bruce
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by brucec View Post
    Hate to admit it, but your husband is right, well to be honest, if it's a attractive lady then there is no such thing as plantonic, we always have sex in the back of our mind
    bruce

    Agreed. The whole concept of stable platonic relationships gives us guys a little more credit than we deserve.
    No one ever became unsuccessful by helping others out

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