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Thread: Parents need help will not sign POA-next step Conservatorship

  1. #1

    Parents need help will not sign POA-next step Conservatorship

    I am new to this forum. My aging parents have cognitive issues. My mother who is very manipulative will not give up control. She has been financially victimized by 2 close relatives. My mother has a disabled son whom she is the Payee for, for his SSI benefits. Her cognitive issues do not allow her to carry out the job, which has resulted in thousands of dollars in overpayment because she lacked in knowledge about reporting each time my brother had moved from each facility. The agency handling the disabled brother's care has tried to get my mother to sign a form so they could become Payee. My mother refuses.

    Neither of my parents will sign power of attorney. The doctors will not speak to me unless I am with them, and only at times am I able to attend. My mother cannot even make bank transfers. When we go to the bank, the bankers are speaking with her, avoiding eye contact with me, when my mother has these issues, making me look stupid.

    Is Conservatorship the only way I can help them?

  2. #2
    I would suggest contacting an Independent Living center in your area to see if they can help guide you to the right people to help. Good luck.

  3. #3
    So who has the spinal cord injury in this scenario?? You? One of your parents??

    Have you spoken to an attorney who specializes in family law? Without your mother's consent, and in the absence of any legal determination of competency, yes, you would have to go through either conservator or legal guardianship procedings to make any changes in the current arrangement.

    If your brother has been declared incompetent, who is his conservator? Your mother? If that is the case, and she is not able to fullfill this role in a responsible manner, you can appeal to the courts, but would probably have to show gross negligence on her part. Again, you would need an attorney to do this.

    Your mother's physician is correct that he cannot talk with you about anything related to her condition, care, etc. without her consent as long as she is legally competent. Physicians cannot determine competence. That is a legal issue. Of course you can communicate to him (by letter ideally) your concerns about her competence, but if she is managing her own health appropriately it is unlikely that he would take the initiative to have her legally declared incompetent.

    You should also be prepared that taking any of these actions is likely to completely alienate you from your mother and possibly other family members as well.

    (KLD)

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