I read some folks here and elsewhere who seem very bitter and resentful. I guess having 12 step program that tells me that if I’m still breathing and conscious I’ll probably be ok has a lot to do with my attitude.

In recovery we talk about keeping a state of gratitude and looking for similarities and not differences. Believe it or not I’m grateful for my physical differences. By ditching or having to ditch a lot of the internally and externally imposed expectations, I’ve liberated myself to be able to explore a lot of interests and personality quirks.

If you saw me now, you see a shaved, earring and septum ring, jazz dot wearing muscle freak, a far cry from the insecure conformist I was a few years ago. Ive gone from a loose fitting shapeless stuff to a skin tight exhibitionist, shopping for my first tattoos. I’m wanting “Bruder” across my traps and speed flames on my forearms. My best buddies are powerlifters and bodybuilders and triathletes, all clean and sober and just this side of wacked.

I’m no longer focused on how many toys I have as much as what my quality of life is and taking care of myself and my relationships.

I relish change and growth.

Anyone else feel this way?